How to help my boyfriend, who has a very sick dog?

Question

His dog is 14, and was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Since being put on crafate and pepcid, he has had no further bleeding, but is crying with pain over what is presumed to be arthritis. He is stiff. Vet is giving him codeine and amantadine. My BF is trying to do everything to get this dog to hang in there. I made a vague reference to euthanasia, and was harshly scolded. Then he is telling me I am being hostile. All this recent lashing out is baffling, as I have tried only to be supportive (my dog was euthanized last week, on the 31st.). I said to him that he tended to lash out when severely upset or worried about anything, and he hung up on me. I hate when he hangs up on me. He was very angry with me. I only meant to tell him that I am trying to be supportive, and to ask him to understand that I am still grieving my dog, but to please not take it out on me? I think he needs to let the dog go, and that he is in denial. It's hard to watch him...Is all this normal? Hurts!

Answer 1

Both of your reactions are completely normal. The grieving process hits us all differently.
Now is not the time to take what he says or his behavior personally. Also, it's not the time to point out that he's being rude, insensitive, or anything else. It's time for you to be mature, both in yourself (your own personality), and in the relationship. Give him some space, let him come to the sad conclusion on his own, and grieve his beloved pet his own way. Once the dog either recovers or dies and some grieving time passes, then bring up rude, insensitive, and talk about your relationship.
Sorry for your loss and your trouble. I hope everything works out for you, your BF and his dog.
Good luck

Answer 2

First let me say how sorry I am about your losing your dog. I know that losing a pet can be devastating. Second, as to your boyfriend, obviously he is in a lot of pain, having to face that his dog is dying. Some people deal with death better than others, he has to come to terms with this in his own time. Unfortunatly, his dog is suffering in the mean time. I would just try to be patient and supportive and understand that we always lash out at those we love and who love us, they are safe.

Answer 3

ok ! firtst af all let me tell you that I am from Argentina, so if you do not understand anything is becouse I am not from Australia!
well, it is very hard to have a sick dog with cancer ! I love animals, and it is something that just people who have them know the pain they feel !
I think you do not must to tell him anything about what he should do with his dog,couse if you do that, he will get angry with you and things will get worse !!
try to get calm, and when you talk wit him, just say :please if you were your dog...what wil you do with him ?
dogs feel like humans do, they are the best men´s friend, so...what are we going to do to make them happy ?
if they are sick, very sick, and vets say there is nothing to do.....I think YOU MUST TAKE YOUR DOG AND GO TO YOUR VET !!!.............
........AND HE WILL DO THE REST.....
IT IS TOO SAD, BUT SOMETIMES WE MUST THINK ON THE DOG...
NOT ON US ............................

I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I WROTE,

LOVES, FROM ARGENTINA.
GOOD LUCK, GOD BLESS YOU !

Answer 4

give him or his dog a massage