holding a door for a man?

Question

as a female i apprceiate it when a man holds a door open for me but what if you get to the door first? i cant just stand there and expect him to open it for me, habit kicked in and i opened it and stood aside to let him pass first. he reached over me and grabed the door and ushered me inside and was sour for the rest of the night. whats the go? am i not supposed to do that and be polite? is it only a mans porogitive to hold open a door?

Answer 1

He should have just said "thank you" and let it go. It isn't a big deal.

As far as I know, modern etiquette would have it ok for a woman to hold the door for a man. The way I see it, its a nice way to let men know they are equally valued/cared for. Why should they have a life of nobody ever doing anything nice for them just because they're men.

Maybe at a formal event it would be nicer to stay with traditional etiquette, but if people are just walking into the drug store I don't see why formal etiquette needs to be followed.

Answer 2

I've held doors open for men before. There have been times where there have been two sets of doors and I have opened the first and let him pass and he held open the second for me. After that we laugh awkwardly.

Some men do not hold open doors so what do you do then?

I look for the signs. If a man is coming up behind me and he starts to reach out his arm (even if he is still a few feet away) that usually means he will open it for me. If I don't see that I open it myself and walk through and hold the door behind me for him which is still being polite. You can not wait and expect it anymore or you'll look foolish.

Or, you can be really brave and demand respect and wait there if a man is approaching behind you.

If you're with someone who opens the car door for you no doubt he'll open every door you pass through. However, I was seeing someone who at first opened the car door for me but that stopped after a couple times we were together.

Answer 3

It all depends on how old-fashioned the man is. Yesteryear's rules demand that a gentleman always get the door for a lady. Today's attempts at sexual equality (boy, do we still have a long way to go!) demand that whoever gets to the door first hold it open for whoever is behind. If I were on a date with a woman who held the door open for me, I would see it as a sign that she's a considerate person. For me--since I'm not old-fashioned--it would be a plus. I would be suspicious of any man that would force you through the door first and then "be sour" for the rest of the night... it suggests that this man beleives that there's such a thing as a "woman's place," and a "man's place." Such a man would probably not consider you an equal, and constantly expect you to behave "like a lady." If living up to someone else's standard appeals to you, then this is fine. Thinking about this, a modern man wanting to appeal to old-fashioned values would politely say something along the lines of, "After you. I insist." And he certainly wouldn't make it a point to pout about it all night!

Answer 4

Hi,

I guess that depends on the man. I always hold a door open for strangers, whether it's a man or a woman doesn't matter. If a man wants me to go first instead, then I usually do. I think for that kind of man, it is not acceptable for the female to be in the role of a man. That doesn't mean that they are sexist, I think it's just their upbringing and of course, because they are incredibly polite.
As for your date(?) or whatever he was being sour for the rest of the night, that is a whole different issue. That means that he is a real jerk. If he gets angry at you for holding a door open, what other things make him mad. He sounds controlling to me. Run away from that one.

Answer 5

Holding a door for somebody is being polite and the right thing to do. Etiquette for entry would always have the woman enter first, regardless of whom opens the door first.
I think in this case that you opened the door and held it for him because he was behind you, but you could have stepped aside at that point when he was at the door and let him hold the door while you entered first.
You didn't do anything wrong - I'm just stating what I believe to be proper etiquette (woman first - always).
Great question !!

Answer 6

You know my husband will generally hold a door open for me....but I will at times hold the door for him!!! He is usually grateful..most of the time he will take hold of the door and let me walk in first....either way it should be no big deal....kindness is kindness!!!

Sounds like your guy has an ego trip...or maybe cares too much what other people might think....either way if he was sour all night then sounds like he has control issues...normal people would not be upset by such a thing.... if this guy is new give him the boot!!! Too childish

Answer 7

It was nice of you to open the door, since you got there first. What do you mean he was "sour for the rest of the night"? Who was he? That's not very nice when someone does you a favor. I think you did a polite thing.

Answer 8

If he does not get it and you happen to stand there for 5 seconds without the door open then you open otherwise you both won't get to go in where you did to go!

Answer 9

Open the door and go

Answer 10

provided that they are precise at the back of me. If I see a woman conserving the door I tell them that I have been given it and enable them to flow first. And no i does not get offended if a women people helped me %. some thing up that I dropped. Why could it is offensive?