Hello you good helpers! I can't stand the way I'm feeling at the moment! I miss feeling content and relaxed. Now I feel at ease, a little sad, & angry. Some people tell me I have everything & should be happy (i.e. family, roof over my head, car), but I'm not. I haven't experienced anything tramatic like a loss or anything.
I'm an adult & not feeling confident. I worry about the future. I've had office jobs the last 10 years & don't like the environment & fear that I'll have to do this the rest of my life because I have no degree or any other kind of experience. I got a temp job (in an office), which I thought might change my outlook, but I can't stand it and it's affecting my mood.
I also worry that I do not have money, I'm living at home, my younger siblings are in steady careers & I'm not. No one seems to be having problems, but me. It's hard to be around them when I'm feeling low and they're upbeat. I don't even enjoy being around them. NO privacy at home. What to do?
2006-11-07 15:41:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
First of all you're not alone, know that there are people out there feeling just the way you do. So you are normal, you just need to go out more. Join a dance club or yoga class, do something out of your league. If an office job is not fulfilling, try something else outside four walls, where you'll always be on the road, who knows, you might meet an interesting individual whom you'll use as a stepping stone out of your depression. God bless you!!!!
2006-11-07 20:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've got a tough situation. I can imagine putting it all down on paper and looking at it only made your challenges seem more imposing.
Take a minute and consider the things you have going right for you, too.
You're surrounded by family who love you and want to see you do well. You mentioned younger siblings with steady careers, talk to them. They might have ideas for a new job, or be able to point out some of your strength you're not considering while you're in this funk.
Evaluate what's expected of you. You're not feeling confident, you worry about the future, and you have a job you don't want to do the rest of your life. Okay, what do you need to survive? Do you have to pay rent? What are your hard and fast obligations?
Your parents are working as your safety net right now. They're not going to make you homeless. Use this opportunity to find what you want to do with your life. You may not get another chance to go to job fairs, send out resumes, talk to friends or other family about their careers and find something right for you.
Growing up is uncertain, but it's easier if you know what support you have available. Don't be afraid to talk to your family and let them offer advise (people *LOVE* to offer advise, why do you think Yahoo! answers is so popular? Everybody loves the sound of their own voice).
Set some goals. If you really think your life would be better with a college degree, take some steps to achieve it. Even small steps add up over a lifetime. You might start with finding a similar job that offers tuition reimbursement - the work wouldn't be much better, but it would lead to a way out.
If there are colleges near you, some have office/administration type jobs that don't necessarily pay well, but they offer employees greatly reduced school costs.
Hopefully when you take a full inventory of your life you'll realize not knowing exactly what you'll be doing in 5, 10, or 20 years means you have the whole world open to you. Just take a little time to figure out what's a good fit for you.
Cheer up and good luck,
Odd
2006-11-07 15:56:44 · answer #2 · answered by OddSavant 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you decided to get on here and type this out, was it therapeutic for you? If the answer is yes, then this is part of your problem. I feel for you, my oldest daughter has gone through this too. I know this sounds weird, but walk over to the mirror and take a really good look. What is it you see in the reflection? I myself had no direction a few years back and I knew I had to do something to correct the problem. I looked around at some of the schools within my area and went back to school and got a different job. I did it, so can you. I can't do it for you and your brothers and sisters can't either, you have to do it. If you can't afford try to get assistance from a federal loan or grants. You will have to pay it pack over a few years if it's a student loan, but you will be glad you do it, trust me. Go and look in that mirror, see what's missing in the reflection. Look in the mirror and say " I love you" you are worth it. Their is confidence within you, you just can't see it yet. I worry about eveerything myself, but I went and got help. A good therapist would do wonders for you. You might be experiencing depression and anxiety. You might be ADD(attention deficit disorder) my daughter is and is taking a non-stimulant medication and talk therapy now. I hope you will take my advice and anybody else on here that is experiencing this same problem as you.
I hope the best for you. Put one foot in front of the other and just walk. I hope this will make sense to you my friend, take care.
2006-11-07 21:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, some exercise in sunshine and fresh air will help a million, but only temporarily.
Second, a car, a roof over your head, and a job don't equate to happiness. They never have and they never will. Don't listen to the materialists on this matter, as they are never happy themselves, and believe true happiness lies in what other people (and they don't) have.
The truth is, you have everything IN YOU for true happiness. It's called a mindset. If you can understand what your role in life is (and everyone has a role - some people's are less glamorous than others' and that's normal) then you can simply and plainly figure out what you need to do to get on that path. I'm not saying it's easy, but I'm also not saying that an easy life equates with happiness. You are a good example of this yourself.
Start with small battles. Find something that is wrong and right it. After you have won, move on to larger battles. The key is to feel worthwhile. Joan of Arc survived on bread dipped in common wine and she fought and won battles against the English army. How? Because she had complete and utter faith in her cause. Yes, she believed the message came from God, but what difference does it make where the message comes from? What matters is how you motivate yourself to make a life for yourself.
Once you taste the bitterness of sacrifice will you be able to distinguish the sweetness of tranquil sedentarism.
2006-11-07 15:52:10 · answer #4 · answered by dickdeadly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have gotten some good answers and some not so good. Yes, you need to look into what preparation you need to do to get a better job. Yes, the suggestions to set goals and plans is a good idea, also the suggestion to start solving small and then larger problems in your life.
No one has mentioned your love life. If you've been out of school for about 10 years that makes you around 28y/o. The old biological clock is ticking and if you don't have a love life, I imagine you must be frustrated about this.
I must mention God, since you want to feel calm and relaxed. It's hard to be calm and relaxed when the future is uncertain unless you know that God is watching over you and loves you. If you don't believe in God, how can you be sure there is no God?
Some Atheists say, "You can't prove that there is a God.". But they can't prove that there is no God, because a negative can never be proven. Why not ask Him for help? What have you got to lose?
2006-11-07 18:58:14 · answer #5 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd say it's definitely time for you to start studying something that you enjoy, so that you can get your life on the path towards your dreams. i know a job can totally make or break your day/mood since you have to spend sooo much time there. Start by writing down your goals and then take a look at the steps you need to follow to complete those goals.
As you probably know, there is no quick mood fixer...or atleast a legal one.
Also, I feel your pain. there is no privacy at home. moving out is definitely a pick me up. when you are paying your own bills and supporting yourself with no one's help you'll feel soooo good. but it's not the smartest thing to do since you can save more money at home.
i could go on and on. but i wish you luck. and don't worry things will get better and you have to do them in your own time. this is your life, not your brother's or your sister's
2006-11-07 15:48:50 · answer #6 · answered by jay-z8900 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have the symptoms of depression. I would make an appointment with a therapist. I suffer from depression and I am on antidepressants. They help. You might not even need that. There are so many different types of therapy now. You might just need career counseling but it sounds like you do need some help to get your life where you want to be.
2006-11-07 15:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by lucy02 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6431548
Before you go about changing jobs, please listen to this story, it is about a woman who enjoys her office job, in preference to others.
Enlightening.
But there are a lot of good suggestions above also.
It appears you have reached a crossroad in your life. I reached that at age 29, made changes, and have never regretted them, but much of the change comes from within, whether it is motivation to change or acceptance of what IS.
Best wishes.
2006-11-08 08:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like me a few years ago. Sounds like depression. Talk to your doctor, she might be able to give you some medicine.
Good luck and God Bless!
2006-11-07 15:44:49 · answer #9 · answered by Hemp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can gain confidence and earn more money by becoming a Mistress, dominatrix. not only would it get you out of the office scene, but then you could get out on your own and be more of yourself. good luck( and if you do this , give me a buzz on yahoo):):):)
2006-11-07 15:47:05 · answer #10 · answered by rattagous70 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋