I am sick of my son's gf thinking she can get away with whatever she wants....?

Question

are these rules I've written into a contract she has to sign unreasonable?
"-I will be polite and courteous to all members of the household at all times while visiting
-Appropriate clothing will be worn at all times, i.e; no bathing suits, no short shorts/skirts or excessively revealing attire.
-there will be no hanging out in bedrooms without permission.
-there will be no leaving the premises to go for a "walk" without adult supervision
-there will be no making out or any other sexual activity inside or outside the house."

If a mom had your childs gf/bf sign something like this would you be mad?

BTW, they are 13/14 and in the 8th grade and about as ignorant as teens are, plus they are having sex and her parents don't care and I don't want to be a grandmother before I'm 34.

Answer 1

Depends, how old is your child? Over 18 and not in the house, heck yes, I would have a problem. However, as long as the child is under 18 and/or still living at home, he/she and anyone he/she brings over is subjected to your rules.

Answer 2

Well, those rules makes sense, but unfortunately more rules lead to more rebellion. You may want to tone down on a few of those things. I would say the "there will be no hanging out in bedrooms without permission" rule is pretty harsh, since most teens sources of entertainment are in their (i.e., TV, computer, guitar). A fairer way to that rule would be for the door to remain open at all times when they both are in their.

The first rule may need reworded a bit to "All members of the household will be treated with respect at all times".

The rest seem pretty fair.

But placed in the child's position, I would probably be pretty embarrassed. Things like that follow you close through High school, which might put some excessive stress on the person on down the road.

Answer 3

You have the right heart and good intent but I think it would be best if your son whom already knows the rules , inform her rather than presenting his girlfriend with a note to sign which may cause some embarrassment . You can control your son but if the girl doesn't follow these rules than just don't allow her over for disrespecting your wishes , keep it simple . Tell your son if she acts up it's his responsibility and he will pay the price for it . He will learn better choices and at the same time perhaps save you some of the drama that boy girl relationships result in . Ok they have had sex , time to put the hammer down and not allow the girl on your premises and ground the boy until he puts a stop on his behavior , period at that age it's an accident waiting to happen , nip it !

Answer 4

You really can't "make " her do anything, but your son on the other hand... You have all the control if you are being a proper parent. Tell your son that she will not be allowed over to your house if these areas that you are addressing are not respected. Your son should respect the rules of the house, and if they have any desire to be together, they will find ways around you eventually. All you an do is stop her from coming to your house so that your rules are not ignored. You are on the right track with this, and I hope you the best of luck with this issue.

Answer 5

i have mixed emotions, If she is rude, ask her not to come back to your house, if she hasn't been rude then you are being rude by asking her to sign that contract. As far as clothing goes, if she is influencing one of your younger daughters you can ASK her to wear something less revealing, explain to her that its because of your daughters, if you do not have younger daughters then drop it. Even if she is young, she still has the right to express herself through clothes. Imagine if a person who was 90 told you to dress more appropriately, you may think that you are but they may not. If its not illegal, just be polite.
Bedrooms, that is a common rule, and should be repected, especially if asked,
no sex, tell your son that. NOT her, she is not your responsibility, He is
As far as going for walks, let them go. Would you not allow him to walk home from school with her?
All this is assuming your son and his girl friend are under 18, if they are older than you really need to cut that cord.
If he is even 16 or 17 please give him the respect every person deserves to be able to talk to a member of the opposite sex with out parents always looking at you. Its hard enough as it is.

Answer 6

My daughter signs nothing she disagrees with, neither do I. If this were my daughter, and she loved her bf then i would imagine she would sign it, to make you happy, and be able to continue seeing the bf. I would encourage her to discuss the contract with you to see if you two could come to some sort of an understanding BEFORE signing. But I would back her up if she decided not to.

In the case of this girl, it seems as though you are trying to get her to sign the contract because she has already done some stuff that she shouldn;t be doing. I think you need to speak to her parents first if you had not already done so.

Answer 7

I'd be angry. BUT, then again, I wouldn't accept my child doing those behaviors, so hopefully I would not be in that situation. So if you have to be the parent and it is your home, you have that right to apply rules. What about your son? Doesn't he abide by the rules of the house, can't he lay down the law or something ?

I would do something similar as you if my son was dating an out of control, promiscuous, disrespectful girl too. I'll keep this in mind for future reference.

Answer 8

I think you're right as far as what you believe BUT I just don't think this disrespectful girl will follow the contract. My brother's girlfriend was the same way and my parents went through HELL with her. She would sneak into our house, hide under the bed, she was found and asked to leave and gave my step mom the finger and walked out of our house and through the neighborhood naked! THIS HAPPENED ON MORE THAN ONCE! Her parents didn't teach her any respect for ANYBODY. My parents tried contracts, meetings with her parents,forbiding my brother to see her, calling the police, the only thing that seemed to work was to cut off my brother's finances. All he got was food and Christmas presents. No allowance... NOTHIN! That took care of your little pest in no time at all. At first she took his tv and dvd player out of his room and took it to her house and wouldn't give it back, so they could go there and hang out, but, eventually she got tired of him being broke and left him alone.

Answer 9

I would not get mad at all.You have every right to have anyone you want sign anything to come in YOUR house.!!! I am a mother of a 16 year old girl and i do not allow her to disrespect anyone or anyones house. Her boyfriends parents just adore her and feel that she is sweet. I have a 7 year old son and when the day comes i will keep this in mind. I will NOT have any little hoochie mama in my house disrespecting me or my home or anybody in my home. I gotta give you a big thumbs up on this one!!!!!!!!!! Keep up the great job. We need WAY more mothers like you!!!!

Answer 10

Not at all you go mom!!! As a mom to a teenage girl I don't let her dress like hoochie mama anyway and she was brought up to respect others which seems this little girl has had "no kind of upbringing" Let me give you a standing ovation! I wish more parents would give a dam about what their kids are up to and who it's with.

I want to smack those teens on Parental Control on MTV that mouth off to the parents