Ex dumped me but still wants to be friends and stuff...?

Question

My ex girlfriend broke up with me a month ago. She is currently in therapy because her father died 4 months ago and she has low self esteem, is unhappy, she is a nice person but has alot to deal with. She broke up with me after her first visit to the therapist. She said that she was sorry for me having to deal with a crazy person like her and that she thought we had really good potential, but the timing of us sucked because of her. She asked me not to hate her and said she really hoped we could still talk and email and be friends because thats "all she could handle" right now. We never argued and got along great all the time. I think I reminded her of her dad, because I am a traditional guy and get along with everyone like her dad did. I was always understanding of her. So I told her that she did not need to say she was sorry, but i needed time to get over her so I could be a true friend with no hidden intentions. Do you think she was sincere in wanting to be friends with me

Answer 1

the only way you could be in a position to judge her sincerity is to agree to be her friend. but friendship, like love, cannot be forced. don't assume that just because you had a history, you should be her bestfriend by default. try to be a casual friend first. you're both adults and should get over the past. don't put in too much emotional investments. if it works, it works. if not, well... at least if you see her on the street and you're with your new gf, you can introduce her as a friend and not an ex-gf. saves you future headaches. :-)

Answer 2

Yes I think she is sincere. And you sound like a wonderful guy. She is reaching out to you in the best and probably the only way she knows how to at this time. Being her friend and supporting her right now not only sounds like something you can do, but is probably the best thing she needs. I feel there is more to your "friendship" in other words the relationship doesnt really sound over with for now. She needs to step back and get her life in order so that she can be good for herself. Until she does that she wont be able to be good for anyone else--and she at least recognizes that. So be the person I sense you are, be her friend and support and love her without expecting anything but a friendship. It will blossom back into something once she gets herself squared away. You sound like a very sincere and warm person. I wish you both luck.

Answer 3

The situation sounds sincere to me. Give her some time, don't try and get over her if you really like her. The best thing to do is be there for her. That will show her you really care. By just doing that, that could make you a definate potential love interest.

Answer 4

When I first read the head line I was going to tell you to run. That is what I tell everyone who has someone break up with them and wants to be "friends." 90% of the time it is because they want to keep you around to mess with your head (girls in particular do this). But after reading what she said I think you should give her a chance. She is either 1. Sincere. Or 2. The most manipulative woman ever. If you give her a chance and she proves to be what I described in 2- run for your life and don't look back!

Answer 5

I had something very similar happen to me a few months back. I actually ended things with my ex because he wanted to take a break due to school. (We are in our 30's....and he was only taking one course!!) I didn't agree to the break, but did agree to speak with him after he completed his course. At that time, he told me he needed to think about his future. Apparently, I wasn't a part of it. He wanted to be friends. I told him I needed time for that. A few months passed and I found that I was sick with lupus and my dad had cancer. I contacted him because he had been my best friend...we never argued...he said we could always be friends and I could call him anytime when we ended. I reached out to him via email and phone. He barely responded to the emails and never answered the phone when I called. I chose to believe that he did have good intentions and wanted to be my friend, but in the end and breakup is called a breakup for a reason. I know it is hard, but maybe you should take some time to yourself to see if she is really worth waiting for. You have to think if you are in love with this person or are you in love with who you want her to be?

Answer 6

Yes. It sounds like she's going through alot right now, and she really needs ur friendship. U never know maybe later on down the road when she's ready again u guys might get back together. Maybe bein just friends will help.

Answer 7

yes. you and i are in the same boat right now.by bf of six months broke up with me a few weeks ago. he told me he really wanted to be friends and at the time it was really hard to say yes, because i still loved him. when i told him that he choked up and said he was sorry. anyways, sorry for the life story. he and i are better friends now than we have been in months, i think because we can just be casual around eachother. sorry about her dad. i know its really hard to lose someone you really love, especially a family member.

and a secret between me and you, i STILL love him...

Answer 8

Yes, at least she was open and honest with you. Just be there for her, if you want to. But don't cheat yourself, if you don't want to wait don't but if she's a great person like you said, just be her rock right now. She will appreciate it.

Answer 9

Yes, I think that she probably wanted to stay in the relationship, but realized that it would not be right to you in that relationship. Give her the benefit of the doubt and be her friend, she sounds like she needs one.

Answer 10

I think that there is defiantly room for a relationship, just set ground rules and make sure there are fo;;owed and best of luck