My son is getting married in Hawaii and I really can't afford to go. I have been remarried for 24 years, and no one in our family was invited to go but me. I feel bad I don't want to attend without the rest of the family, he has 3 1/2 brothers too. but he is still my son. Help? Should I just tell him to send me the video?
2006-11-07 14:54:28 · 34 answers · asked by tybearsmama 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Oddly enough I was just at a wedding in Hawaii where this same things happened. One of the brides best friends couldn't afford it. Everyong wanted her there so much that we all chipped in enough to get her a ticket and a hotel room. She felt a little bad about it but when she let it go she realized that none of us thought the less of her for it and were all very happy she was there. Maybe talk to your son and see if something similar can happen. Otherwise, don't feel bad because there isn't anything you can do about it but I can understand how hard that would be to miss your son become a husband.
2006-11-07 14:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by Blue Abyss 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How many times is he gonna get married? Assuming the best, ONCE. If you cant pay for the ticket, FIND A WAY! I dont care if you have to beg on the streets, but get money somehow! Other than shortage of money, I see no other real excuse for you not to go, unless ur terminally ill, which I doubt, as ur on the computer asking questions like these. A mother can have a thousand sons, but a thousand sons only have one mom. You are the most important person in his life! If you dont go, he'd be CRUSHED. Not the best way to start a honeymoon. Go to Hawaii...as a person who lives here, I have to tell you that it's awesome! And it's even better for a tourist. You sound like u need a vacation and some time w/ ur son...kill two birds w/ one stone! Asking for a freaking video is something only a casual friend or a distant cousin can do, NOT THE PERSON WHOSE WOMB CARRIED HIM FOR 9 MONTHS! Hope u get the message.
2006-11-07 15:56:15 · answer #2 · answered by fliptastic 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel about the rest of the family not being invited, although he may have a good reason for it, and you need to tell him that you cannot afford the trip. But, you need to be honest with him as to if the reason you do not want to go is because you cannot afford it or that none of the rest of the family was invited. If you would really like to go if it weren't for the money situation, see if there is anyway they can pay for half of it. There is a website called Priceline that lets you name your own price for a round trip air fare, and you can really get some great deals there that would make it alot more affordable for this trip. Check into it.
2006-11-07 23:22:38 · answer #3 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand how you feel, I lived in Hawaii for two years and can you believe I was not sure about going and then I ended living there. Hawaii is so beautiful and your son is getting married. Go and have a great time, Hawaii is a once in a life time opportunity. How do you think your Son will feel having the two woman he loves most at his wedding. Have a great trip.
2006-11-07 15:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An idea would be to tell him that you cannot afford to attend, but if he could give you a plane ticket, you would be there in a heartbeat. It sounds like there are family issues that are too deep to resolve before the big day. Go to the wedding, suck it up. Deal with issues later. Be a good sport, and don't bring up issues in Hawaii either.
2006-11-07 14:57:37 · answer #5 · answered by Valerie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We have a responsibility to be there for our family. But sometimes finances get in the way - so how to keep being responsible and caring to our family? Be honest. Talk to your son and tell him the situation. If they can afford to help you they will. And you will accept it - this is your gift to your son, being there. If they can't afford it, then they understand the situation and they love you anyway because you're their mom. But at least they don't feel like you didn't care to show up - that new daughter in law of yours will never forget it if she doesn't know the truth.
As for not wanting to go without the rest of your family? Suck it up. He's your son.
2006-11-07 14:58:55 · answer #6 · answered by Stella Bing 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
earlier this year my niece got engaged- she was/is living about 800k's away from her father (my brother ) & he was in the same position ; she wanted him to attend - but he really couldn't afford the fares- he also has a new partner & more children; Well I ended up """lending """ him the money for the plane ticket for him to attend on his own..
I think he only had a couple of weeks notice for the event,
anyhow they are now saving so that the whole family can attend the wedding next Sept.
is there someone you can ask to lend you the money so taht at least you can attend.- yes it would be much nicer for the other children to go as well- but it sounds like it is just not possible at this time
2006-11-07 15:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by fairypelican 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not your choice who he invites, and letting the rest of the family not being there stop you is a bit strange - what kind of mother doesn't wish to attend the wedding of her son? However, if you can't afford to go, you can't. You need to let him know that now, and if he still decides to hold the wedding out of town, that's his decision...although I can't believe he made such a decision without first confirming that his parents could attend...either he hasn't thought about it (not likely) or he wants a tropical location more than he wants you there. He sounds kind of selfish and cheap. He knows a wedding there will be practically free, and cares more about saving money than having you there. How old is this kid? He sounds like a jerk. Sorry.
2006-11-07 15:04:19 · answer #8 · answered by chelleedub 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your son's choice of location is a pretty clear message. He is not really interested in having his family attend. If it were, he would have chosen a cheaper, closer, location and saved Hawaii for the honeymoon. If going would be a financial hardship for you, don't go. Ask for a copy of the video, ask if he would like you to host a family "reception" at your house so the rest of the family can wish them well.
2006-11-07 15:00:22 · answer #9 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would at least feel embarrassed that you are considering skipping your sons biggest day. Not to mention the years of ill will that you will inspire between you and your new daughter in law.
And I have traveled on a shoestring for years. I dont believe for an instant that you cant find a way. If you need pointers on keeping the expense down, let me know.
2006-11-07 14:58:02 · answer #10 · answered by Paul S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋