I have a very stubborn husband who rarely gives me the chance to voice my opinion in an argument, or if I do, he doesn't listen, never looking at me. Recently, we had 2 arguments in the last two weeks. The first one, he had a bad day, and so when we got home he lashed out at me, nitpicking on me and so on. The second one he was trying to fix a table lamp and yelled at me because a: he couldn't find the screwdriver, that I gave back to him cuz it stayed on my table for 3 weeks, and b: cuz it wasn't plugged in. This all seems kind of stupid, and it is, but he is out of control. He never apologizes before we go to bed, and I end up going to sleep in the other room. He is so stubborn he doesn't want to talk about it. How do I calm him down, and get him to argue more fairly? None of this was any of my fault.
2006-11-07 14:53:11 · 16 answers · asked by Jen L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You must kick him to the curb because you have the right to be happy, the chances of him changing is slim to none.
2006-11-07 14:58:23 · answer #1 · answered by klynna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might suggest seeking a couples counseling as this is headed in a very bad direction.
That might help him open up as to what the real problem is such as his feelings of inadequacy as a man
Why are sooo many people so quick to call it quits when the going gets a bit rough? I mean if he is being abusive that's one thing but women b*tch all the time. Why can't men? ( I have been married to a great guy for 11 yrs and it's not always easy but it's worth it)
2006-11-07 14:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by heartache 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jen, you can't wait until there's an argument to get your point across. Bad day, can't fix this or find that - emotions are already running high.
You gotta pick a time when everything is cool and he's relaxed, then easily move into that conversation about whatever it is that bothers you. Do it slowly and tactfully, don't accuse, don't threaten, don't raise your voice. If you detect at any time he is getting irritated, back off and save it for another day. Good Luck
2006-11-07 14:59:45 · answer #3 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that your husband's attitude is very close to abuse; mental and psychological abuse, which is oftentimes worse than physical abuse because it leaves no apparent scars. A professional may be able to help you both and if your husband refuses to go to a councillor, go yourself and learn how to live your own life and deal with this kind of thing. No one deserves to be the whipping post for another person's bad attitude. And having a bad day at the office has nothing to do with you - no excuse there.Stubbornness is just another name for selfishness. Look to your own sanity and save yourself.
2006-11-07 15:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Catharine B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's something more to your husband's attitude. Seek a professional marriage counselor. I believe he might have some anger issues that needs to be control.
2006-11-07 14:56:46 · answer #5 · answered by ginger13 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a talk with him and tell him that he need to get some help before he gets high blood pressure cause all that stress is what it is leading up to and he need to calm down before he stroke him self out and learn how to deal with his anger before it do damage to him good luck PS: and if he don't listen then leave him alone
2006-11-07 15:02:23 · answer #6 · answered by poda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband is like that to and it will never change. i have been with my stubborn man for 5 yrs and he still complains about everything. i have learned to ignore him and agree with him more and now he gives in and respects me more. by the way is your man muslim. i am married to pakistani man and it is the worse. email me if u wanna chat
2006-11-07 14:55:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need marriage counseling or divorce.....these are all signs of an abusive person. he has no reason to lash out at at you i mean really he needs to learn to control his temper.....and you need to stand up for yourself and learn that life is too short to be miserable. plus you deserve to be treated better
2006-11-07 14:58:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like my husband- is it in the water??? or what?? he argues over things and has picked me to pieces over little things- he says the little things are what drives him nuts- I went and talked to his priest- and he talked to my spouse about picking battles-do you or your husband have a pastor or priest to talk to- my husband is catholic- I'm not= but he seem to listen the his priest=-try not to take his picking personally- esp when it has nothing to do w you- D
2006-11-07 14:59:37 · answer #9 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to lawyer up...when women stop putting up with this kinda crap you will make men have to be better...get a divorce...
2006-11-07 14:54:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋