After a 3 1/2 year relationship went bad my ex and I broke up. That was 3 1/2 months ago, I was broken hearted and the whole nine. I was stupid enough to still be sleeping with him even though he has a girlfriend. But as of recent I met a new guy at my job, he is really sweet, intelligent, ambitious, just the whole thing. Because of him I haven't really talked to my ex lately and the last time I slept with him was a month ago. Although I'm not looking to get into another relationship, I like this guy. He makes me feel good when I'm around him like everyday is Christmas. I don't want to mess things up with him so can some one give me some advice as to how to make sure I don't move to fast, or scare my new guy off
2006-11-07 14:28:24 · 8 answers · asked by Ms. Educated 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are scared of moving to fast just let this new guy know that you just got out of a relationship... you don't wanna move too fast... but you still would to possibly pursue a relationship with him. I would recommend taking the risk and just hookin up with him. I mean what if he is the one... but if you tell him this.. and he is ok with it.. then he might be worth trying to keep.. if he is like.. ahh crap she ain't gunna give it to me... and stops talking to you.. forget him....
as for the still sleeping with other boyfriend while broken up.. I wouldn't recommend doing it while he has a g-f.. but hey everyone needs good sexual satisfaction so if you need it... might as well get it from somone who you know how to please and hopefully after that long.. knows how to please you...
2006-11-07 14:38:59 · answer #1 · answered by morfusaf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really is a matter of choice, choose to make the right decision.
Be patient and see how things pan out. No offense but it sounds as though you may have some self esteem issues as well. I base that upon your relationship with your ex after the break up.
You teach people how to treat you. You first need to learn how to treat yourself. It's okay to accept, love and respect yourself. Work on yourself first, be patient with the new guy. Make the decision to not pusk or rush things. That also indicates insecurity on your part and is a turn off to some guys. You'll want a partner an equal. It will be no fun for you if you give away your power as an intelligent, independent and assertive woman. Just let him feel you are with him because you choose to be, not because you need to be. Good Luck
2006-11-07 14:40:05 · answer #2 · answered by big dawg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is always best to talk to him. I went through the same thing after a 8 year relationship. when we broke it off I met a really great guy we did date but never slept together. to this day he is one of my best friends he has since been married and divorced and has a 2 year old daughter in which i am her godmother. if this guy wants to make things work with you and you feel comfortable with him communicate to him how you feel. this should not be a problem. let him know you want to take it slow the slower the better if you ask me. your relationship will be much stronger in the long run. good luck
2006-11-07 15:36:17 · answer #3 · answered by brookesingsalways 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you already are moving to fast. You also need time to heal from your prvious guy. Sleeping with him is not the answer either. It will only bring your self esteem lower. Give yourself a break. It is ok to be alone. This new guy sounds great but just take things slowly and if he cares as much as what he is showing you it will be better in the long run. You will have made the right choices as soon as you have a little alone time. You sound caring, you will not mess things up with him.
2006-11-07 14:35:27 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe that if you really like this guy and he feels the same way about you then you should just stop talking to your ex. but i would also caution at work relationships, it could lead to some not so good things. im not sure how this guy feels about you, so i cant really say go for it. but if this guy makes you feel good about yourself and gets you away from your ex ( whom by the way is just using you, sorry but been there done that) then its a good relationship. the way you describe it I would say to just hang out with this guy, go for dinner and drinks and see what happens then. but dont go for drinks and then immediatly have sex with the man ok. all men do not just want sex.
2006-11-07 15:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by judley01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and tell him what you are going through.If he is interested enough he will work with you ans may even support you when your down.If you feel like you are getting to close to fast just remember how you got where youare and how it made you feel.Remembering old relationships that have a bad ending can put the brakes on new ones or at least slow them down enough to be cautious.Hope this helps.
2006-11-07 14:38:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to this new guy, be like "do you see our relationship going anywhere?" or if you arent in a relationship yet then say something like "can you see us in a relationship?"
2006-11-07 14:36:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself. If that scares him off then he wasn't meant to be.
2006-11-07 14:38:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋