I became engaged this year but i have found out that my girlfriend may have lied about her past life.?

Question

Ok here's the scoop. She told me her oldest son was a triplet and that his sisters died when they were two days old. She also told me she had a daughter that died when she was two weeks old. Through asking questions I have found out that these births maybe are not real. I have also learned that a few jobs she supposedly held were not real or better the careers were more say embellished by her. I know or I think I know she loves me and treats me and my children well. I have 5 kids and have full custody of them so I have alot of baggage too. I have always been honest with her about my past but I think she has not been. Do I confront her and possibly ruin our relationship if I find out that I am wrong? If I am right can I trust her? I am a really good guy and just want to be loved without all this crap. Was she just trying to keep me interested in the begining and now she has to keep the lie going? HELP me please

Answer 1

You need to ask her. If you're mistaken, there's no reason for her to be angry with you. If she's been hiding this from you and lying, you need to decide whether 1. you should forgive her and start over together or 2. you have to face the truth and move on with your life.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Notice how what you believe are her lies, center around deaths that cannot be proved? Do you find that she feels her family didn't pay enough attention to her, or the right kind? This could explain that. She needs to be more secure before she will stop that habit, and make the decision not to do it anymore. It CAN be done, unless something is seriously wrong inside.

On the other hand, she could be psychotic and then you wouldn't want her to be with you or your children, so it's best to ask her what is the truth, what is the lie, now...sooner than later. And if you find it is the truth, you need to figure out why the people who told you otherwise are so critical of her, coz perhaps there is a good reason.

Answer 3

Ask her! I am a person just like you and all of that unknown would kill the realtionship for me. i couldnt live like that. Give her a chance to explain and move on if you can. I would worry about the whole situation until it was all put away in a neat little box in my head. you are right she could just think that all this made her look better to you but it needs to be cleared up before you continue this on. Espicially if you have children. Think about what would happen if the two of you split up later down the road cause of something that came up and it had to do with her past lies? That would hurt them more than just putting a stop to it now or at least learning the truth.

Answer 4

Some people lie to get attention. They may not even realize they are doing it, or that what they are saying could hurt you. She may even believe her own lies. This could be part of a pshychiatric disorder. If you really love her and are willing to work through it, then it may be worth it, but you have to have real proof she lied before you confront her, or she'll be very hurt that you don't believe her, and it could ruin the relationship. On the otherhand, you can't go through life not trusting her. In a lot of cases, people that tell lies like this, don't usually lie about the stuff that matters, and don't mean to hurt anyone, they are just seeking attention.

Answer 5

I totally understand your concerns, and you have every right to be. Before you take things any further in this relationship, you need to have a sit down with her, and get all these lies and things straight. If you feel that she is worth it, then you can get past this if you work hard. Telling lies, is not a good way to start a relationship, and it's definitely not a good idea to do to keep it going. Tell her to be upfront and honest with you about everything, and if, after she gives you her real and truthful answers, you feel that you can still be with her, then go for it. If not, move on. You don't need a chronic liar in your life, and around your children. You all deserve better.

Answer 6

Theres alot of possibilitys. The best thing to do is confront her about it. If you already know shes lied about jobs shes had then obviously alot of other things might have been lied about. It's possible she was just trying to impress you in the beginning but I don't see why saying you had kids that died would have that effect. Maybe you could talk to her parents or siblings about it and avoid actually confronting her. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with them though.. Good luck

Answer 7

Well you do have a problem, and if I was you I would confront her about what I found out....so you may lose her if you are wrong well at least you was bold enough to find out....but if you are right about her then you have to take in consideration can I trust her around me and my children and can I ever believe anything she says..Personally you really don't have anything to loose at all but everything to gain if you are right so go and find out and clear the way between you and her past.

Answer 8

Yes! every says that he/she is good ~ and have doubt about the other side. There are always two sides of each story. Surely one has full knowledge about oneself and a little knowledge about others. The situation is swinging like! No other can decide on your behalf you have to do yourself. As know better than others.

Answer 9

Those are some strange things to lie about. It seems to me like it would be worth it to confront her now, then to find out after you're married that you were right and then have to go through a divorce.

Answer 10

Stay with her if you want a relationship built on mistrust !!! Why would you even, want to be married to a girl who is a B.S. er for ?
What else is in her background she either, hasn't bother to tell you or is hiding it within a pack of lies? Honesty is paramount to any relationship i.e. no trust - no love and vise verso ! Go shopping somewhere else for a woman - this one reeks of scandal !