I have a small but expensive wedding on New Year's Eve. I have invited some single friends, and by just addressing the invitation to each person (no "and guest") have indicated that they are not able to bring a guest. However, one woman has recently started seeing a man, and has indicated to me via email that she might be attending "plus one." How do I tell her we cannot afford the expense of additional guests in a polite way?
2006-11-07 14:04:51 · 10 answers · asked by Amy B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Thanks for the answers so far. The invite is out, as is the RSVP card (with just her name on it and she is past the return by date, which is why she sent the email), so it will have to be a conversation. I just don't know how to say it politely and not make it sound like we can't afford one more guest.
2006-11-07 14:54:19 · update #1
Just drop her a simple email saying:
Congratulations on your new relationship:) Unfortunatly, we have very limited space available, and finding room for an extra guest just may not be possible. I hope you will still honor us with your presence. We would love to meet your new partner, perhaps we could arrange a special dinner date shortly we get back?
2006-11-07 15:52:07 · answer #1 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Out of respect for you and your wishes, your friend should abide by what what you want. You could always do the pre-print thing on the RSVP but somehow I get the sense that your friend would over look this and send it back with her guest included.
I would confront your friend and and tell her that her guests presence will only be allowed if you have an extra spot for him. The only way that will be determined is after all the RSVP's come in. You could call her thereafter to tell her if there's an open spot for her guest. But remember...if SHE brings a guest, all your other friends might be upset that THEY couldn't bring a guest too.
You could also explain that you've already paid for X-amount of people and that amount doesn't include extra guests that may tag along.
Catwoman does have a point...you could always let your friends guest tag along. More than likely you'll have people that don't show...most receptions do. Then you can just act stupid and pretend you didn't realise she was bringing her friend....those pre-wedding jitters causes short term memory loss... lol...
Hope that helps! Congrats and good luck!!
2006-11-07 22:47:23 · answer #2 · answered by my_lil_buttercups 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you talk to her or e-mail her, mention how hard it was for to make your guest list; that you wanted a small wedding and had to make some tough decisions. One of the toughest decisions you had to make was that people who were not married wouldnt be able to bring a guest. Let her know if you allowed one person to bring a guest, you would have to allow everyone and you wouldnt want it to seem like you were picking favourites amongst your friends. Let her know you are sorry, but you can only extend the invitation to her and not any guests.
If she gets hissy on it, let time deal with it. When it comes time for her wedding she will understand budgets and guest list nightmares.
Good luck!
2006-11-07 23:47:40 · answer #3 · answered by Cariad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be ashamed to tell someone that for her to invite a guest is not in your budget! I am sure that people by now know that weddings can be expensive. Be truthful! Just tell her that in order for you to have all your beloveds at the wedding you had to only limit the guest list to spouses only and no one can bring any guests. If she get offended, then she does not have the right motivation for going to your wedding.
2006-11-07 23:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by Jaedyn=God has heard 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are close enough friends to invite her to the wedding, then you need to be honest with her. Tell her she can't bring a guest! Be nice and sensitive about it, apologize, but tell her, if you let her bring a guest, then other people can't be invited not to mention that if you let her bring a guest you have to let everyone else bring guests. Tell her, "please understand, I wish I could let you bring a guest, but I just can't afford it." Would it be alright if the guest came after dinner or at an after party event??
2006-11-07 22:51:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sue A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you are having a small wedding for a reason. There's nothing shameful about telling her that it is what you could afford, and extra guests would be outside of your budget. Explain that if she is allowed to bring her guest, others might be a bit put off because they assumed (and rightly so) that they couldn't.
2006-11-07 22:20:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell everyone, if they bring a guest you expect them to pay for the extra money it will cost you to feed them etc, after all it is New Years eve, I think it is ok for you to ask, otherwise things . can get out of hand and you will be stuck with alot of unwanted expenses If they are your true friends they will understand, if not don't let them be a part of your special day. BE FIRM Mary
2006-11-07 22:13:18 · answer #7 · answered by mary m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probaly just let her bring the guy, rather than offend her, one more person is not going to make a real difference, it seems there is always people that don't show up even after they rsvp that they are. The last wedding I went to ended up with a lot of left overs because of no shows....
2006-11-07 22:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by Lanie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Put only her name on the invite and on the RSVP card print her name only and pre-print only 1 for attending. Hopefully she will get the hint by doing this.
2006-11-07 22:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by Country Girl for Life 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that unfortunately you had already reserved for a # amount of people attending and you cannot change the number or you will have to pay extra.
2006-11-07 22:44:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋