My dear Friend had a daughter when She was 15. The so called Bio Dad, wanted nothing to do with the situation, and went into the Navy. The Man She married was able to get His name on the birth certificate because She entered no name at the birth.
His Family knows, of course, and has talked about it. The daughter now 35 overheard a conversation when She was younger, but not too much. Then Her Husband, a butt, told Her after He married Her that Her Dad was not Her Dad. She finally called Her Mom two weeks ago crying asking who Her Dad is. The daughter kept repeating I am, (the last name of the Man who raised Her). The Daughter seemed to act like this was resolved.
Now, Mom has decided to tell Her the truth. She is flying half way across the U.S., during Thanksgiving, alone, to tell Her the truth.
So what do You think. Tell, or leave it be? Will it make Her feel seperated from the Family She has always known? Possibly crush Her?
2006-11-07 13:55:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
***The Mom wanted to tell her Daughter the truth Years ago.
This is not My stepdaughter.
This is My Friend's daughter.
2006-11-08 09:05:25 · update #1
They should have told her from the beginning. I was raised by the man my mother married. I always knew he was not my bio father. I did not meet my bio until I was 13. I always understood why my bio father was not around. I don't know how I would be if I was 35 and just found out the truth. If her bond is strong with her parents then they will be able to get though it. She might want to know more about her bio father and actually meet him.
I have a cousin who's father is not her bio father and she doesn't know it. She has 3 sisters who are really her half sisters yet neither her or her sisters know. She has felt all her life to be different from everyone in the family. Her sisters sometimes joke and say that she is adopted. They just don't know how true.
Maybe your friend's daughter has had an inkling that she was different from other family members.
2006-11-07 14:08:04 · answer #1 · answered by walkerhound03 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think the daughter has a right to resent the fact that the father whom she knew and loved and who loved her all her life was not her biological father. Perhaps the parents should reveal the birth details sooner but they choose not to do it and this is their right. It is immaterial now why they did it; although, I am sure it was done with the best intentions at heart, still, the daughter may feel angry and cheated and she may project her anger on mom. For this reason I would suggest the mother does not travel alone. Also I think that some steps should be made to contact the biological father before his daughter learns of his existence and rushes to enter his life. I believe the truth needs to be revealed, and it should be done as soon as possible; however, there is no rush. As for the potential hurt the revealed truth may cause, I believe your friend has no choice but to tell the truth, because the daughter's husband decided to spill the beans. Luckily your friend and her daughter can get together and share the healing.
2006-11-07 15:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honesty is the best policy, but i feel the mom and dad should go. the father who was the father in the beginning and now will be the father to the end. she will eventually realize that she is lucky to have such a wonderful man want to take her into his life through all the terrible things kids do to a parent.
if it was me, I'd want to know the truth. but the biological father is a loser. she still deserves to know the truth with the two people she knows to be parents telling her not just the mother trying to explain everything.
2006-11-07 14:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that your stepdaughter needs to know the truth, for medical reasons if nothing else. You are in fact her father,just not the sperm donor.and she should be reminded of this and not chasing a fantasy person who not only does not care about her existence but never has even asked. As for the family they will keep on treating her the same. her husband needs his head read for his stupidity
2006-11-07 15:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would have told her as soon as she was old enough to understand, personally....the truth ALWAYS comes out...better to bring it out in a natural way when the child was young and let her grow up knowing she was sooo special that this DADDY went to all this extra measure to ensure that SHE was his CHOSEN special little girl! How could she grow up feeling anything but cherished by her special daddy?
2006-11-07 14:11:45 · answer #5 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry and very very sorry! How the situation has become alarming? If we follow the nature then such occassions will never come. May be her birth is a result of datings.
Still there is time to open our eyes, follow the path of life SET by GOD Almighty, strict to moral and ethical values and save the future generations from wonderning and looking for their real dads.
2006-11-07 14:05:56 · answer #6 · answered by MY Regards to All 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think she should have been told a long time ago, but both mom and dad should go. Especially dad to let her know that he loves her and that she will always be his little girl.
2006-11-07 14:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
REVEAL THE TRUTH!!! and im confused with d story but the truth solves everything, she might get upset and runaway and get into a fight and have a miserable life, but at least she knows the truth. that's better than anything. the truth
2006-11-07 14:02:04 · answer #8 · answered by Tim M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i didn't understand the story but telling the truth should be the best solution i guess
2006-11-07 18:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by supernolwen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋