If I want to see her it has to be at her house. I pay her money to support my daughter. She is on section 8 housing food stamps and hasnt had a steady job in aty least 3 years. I have had a steady job for 8 years but cant afford to pay my rent car payment insurance etc. if I have to get a attorney I will not be able to pay to support my daughter She is the world to me! I'm not even on the birth certificate cause she didn't call me till 1 week after she was born. What Do I Do?
2006-11-07 13:38:22 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Put your foot down and tell her that if she won't let you take your daughter for visitations that you will get an attorney and sue her for custody. So long as there are no custody papers stipulating that you must only see your child when the mother is present, then there actually isn't anything she can do except take you to court and then she has to prove that you are a danger or a threat to the child and need supervision on visitation. She will have to prove without a reasonable doubt that you are unfit. If you were to take her to court for custody, more than likely you would get the child because you have a steady job. good luck
2006-11-08 17:35:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no choice but to seek legal help. If you are not on the birth certificate, you have no legal rights.
Don't worry about child support, your focus should be the child. yes, you may have to downsize your lifestyle in order to be able to afford the payments but at least you be sure to see your child and you know that you are doing the right thing. You might be able to even fight for custody, but be ready for the legal ride of your life.
ANd please please please, keep a detailed documentation of anything you give her. Pay her with checks or cashiers checks so you have proof of the money, keep receipts for any items you buy like clothes, shoes, toys, food, etc. This ALL will help if you go to court- & IF you have a GOOD attorney.
Also, with her being on section 8, she can get a FREE paternity test! She will have to pursue this though.
Also, when someone is placed ino section 8 & recieves those state benefits, the FIRST thing they ask is WHO IS THE DADDY!!!!! If you didn't get anything, this means she LIED to the state. They have a form which asks for the father's name, last known address, & social security #. You may want to check with DEFACS to see what can be done if she KNOWINGLY lied! Also, of you are giving her money for the child, that is technically an income, & she is probably not reporting it. They can get her for defrauding the state & she will be in serious trouble.
Hope this helps! BTW, my firend works for DEFACS & I have a friend who just went through al this so I hear aout this stuff everyday!!!!
2006-11-07 13:53:15 · answer #2 · answered by georgiadiva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off if you have court order for child visitation and you are current on your child support payment, and you are not suppose to have a supervised visit you can take your daughter's mom to court. You have the right to your visitation. If you do not have a court order and are just paying her money I hate to be mean you have to rights.
If you don't have a court order what you need to do is hire a family law lawyer or see if the state can provide you one for free. Get a paternity test done first, make sure you are the dad. Next get a child support/visitation agreement set up. This way when you are paying your child support and she's not giving you visitation you can take her to court over it. This way you have a legal documentation that you are to get visitation. Also make sure you get your name on the birth certificate if you are the dad.
You could also attempt to get full custody of your daughter. But you need hard evidence that the mom is unfit for parenting.
Best of luck
2006-11-07 13:49:40 · answer #3 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are paying child support by law she has to let you see the child and take the child to your home and her not being around inless she has taken you to court and proven that you are unfit or not to be trusted with the child alone.
My dad had the same problem you are having when his son was born, he contacted a lawyer and they made her put his name on the boys certificate and told her if she was to continue getting child support she would have to let my dad take his son every weekend to our house and my dad even threaten to fight for custody, like your childs mother she was on section 8 and had not had a steady job in a long time where my dad had been with the job he was at I think 5 years.
You could try fighting for custody of your daughter, the mother sounds like a lazy bum who wants a free ride in life.
2006-11-07 14:28:37 · answer #4 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's a tough one but a common one , be grateful she lets you see her at all.Maybe try and help the mother get a job she enojys , try being like a friend to her , that would be of best interest to the child, tell the mother that. There is always a solution if both people can come to the party, be persistant with her , and just accept the conditions for now until things get better, after a while she will see how easy going you are and she may just start being a bit more understanding about your end of the situation, and vice versa, hers wouldn;t be an easy one either. Best of luck to you all.
2006-11-07 15:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have Legal-Aid in your state? If so they can help you. You CAN still have your name added to the birth certificate. Did you ever have a DNA test done in order to prove that you are actually the father. I hate to say it, but a lot of girls/women will have more than one partner and if they get pregnant they will go after the guy with the job for child support. If it turns out not to be your daughter you can sue her to get your money back
2006-11-07 13:45:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you can do is take it to court and ask that the courthouse pay for a lawyer. It is required that all cases are given the oppurtunity to recieve a lawyer. Some reject it, but if your smart you will accept. Good Luck. I am fighting a custody battle right now. They are required to give the people in need a lawyer/attorney.
2006-11-07 13:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by jg31 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are 100% sure that the child is yours, I would start with a paternity test. If you are, or it turns out that you are, the next step I would take would be to report her to DFS. They can go and evaluate the situation, and if they deem that she isn't supporting the child well enough, the child will be turned over to the next closest parent or relative, that being you.
2006-11-07 13:46:54 · answer #8 · answered by makin_the_same_mistakes 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How regularly are you in this internet site? it type of feels to me you're actually not often at right here O_o regularly people who ask a lot of those questions are trolls.... The allure is that jointly as most of the solutions are ineffective, there is a minimum of one answer that provides a logical point of view or is extremely useful. additionally, why are you generalizing? merely because you reside with somebody who does this would not propose every person does. precisely like jointly as my brother could be a jerk to his girlfriends, that would not propose each and every guy is. (i don't have a brother, by potential of how.) i'm 14, and not a mom, yet i'm regularly at homestead with my sisters (now 7 and 12) by using fact my mom is regularly caught at paintings whilst i'm at her homestead, and an identical at dad's, so I regularly supervise them and am in fee of feeding them if the two get homestead previous due (and each so often even putting them to mattress, assisting with homework, making specific they do their chores, and so on.). it is type of complicated each and every so often by using fact jointly as my dad and mom have been divorcing,they quite lots skipped over Desiree, the seven 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous, so she is definitely emotionally 4, and he or she's quite much 8. She would not have any coping skills in prepare yet and would not get why she has to do chores, and Chalina, my different sister, infrequently listens to me a million/2 the time by using fact "i'm no longer her mom". Gee. can no longer wait to have young infants. i'm at right here lots, even nevertheless i'm no longer a desirable contributor, yet I nonetheless be waiting to do those issues. those persons are indignant and calling you a troll because you immediately assumed that the persons right here ignore their young infants. call your spouse out in this. don't be accusatory, by using fact gets people protective. merely it appears that evidently the state the subject and what the proper answer you got here up with is. Does she agree? If needed, pass to relatives or marriage counseling. yet please merely pass to courtroom if it is the sole option to confirm your daughter isn't skipped over. No toddler desires to enhance up and not using a discern. in case you probably did divorce your spouse, might your daughter even undergo in recommendations her? is that what you somewhat want? There are different innovations than divorce. Please evaluate those innovations, by using fact, enable me inform you, as a daughter of divorced dad and mom - it SUCKS.
2016-12-28 15:43:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider what you WANT to happen: do you want custody, lower payments, more visitation, your name added to the birth certificate, etc? Decide what you want, then call your Family Court. They will help you, all you need to do is ask.
2006-11-07 13:41:56 · answer #10 · answered by Milana P 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋