My Parents seem to be being unfair, am I right in thinking this?

Question

My parents seem to not like what im trying to do. Whenever I try to do something, its always either wrong or not up to their standards. I keep up in my schoolwork,, and sometimes I forget to do my chores, which I then make up the next day. So, I asked them today to pick me up at my friends house, because we were finishing up a project today for European History tomorrow. So, I told my parents what time they were supposed to pick me up, and we were done at said time. When I went out, they started yelling at me and apparently everything ive ever done wrong in the world, which normally takes hours. Then they said I wasn't around to go out for a week, and they yelled at me for some reason. Also, when I try to tell them stuff like "I'm not perfect, even though you think I am" and things like that, they deny it and they say they never do that and I can't get them to understand. What can I do about it? I almost cried when I got home tonight after what they said to me, so what can I do?

Answer 1

sit down and try to talk to them and tell them how u really feel inside and dont just say im not perfect!! even they should no tht no one is! even they arent. i agree wit u tht they shouldnt expect to do everything right, just tht u try ur hardest and they should be proud!!

Answer 2

You use the words, "some reason" which suggests you weren't listening to what they said.
Most parents don't blow up at a kid who is doing his schoolwork and comes out of his friends house on time. There is something more you are not telling or not understanding.

The best way to put your parents at ease is to begin talking to them like an adult. If when they are ragging at you, you hang your head down or turn to the side it sends the message you are NOT listening. Even if you are it is sending the wrong message. Look at them when they talk and show interest. When they are through ranting, ( and I know some do) tell them you really want to please them but sometimes you need things explained more clearly in advance so you know what to expect. Some parents forget that teens DON'T know all the things they know and they wrongly think you are ignoring the obvious. Sounds like your parents care and maybe they are overreacting a bit because they are scared to death that you will end up with bad friends who do drugs or gangsta stuff. At least be glad they care and convince them you want to do well. maybe that will give them the reassurance they need and they will lighten up.

Good luck it is tough being a kid.....

Answer 3

Your parents have way too much stress, and it has probably been a family habit from way back to take it out on the kids. They do not realize that they do this, and telling them is only going to make them angrier. You have my sympathy. My parents were a lot like this too.

Looking now in hindsight (as I am 41 with kids of my own), I ask myself what would I tell my young self to do in this situation. Hmm. First, I would say, get yourself someone you can talk to, preferably older and confidential. Maybe a teacher, or a school counselor. It has to be someone who you feel respects you, won't be good otherwise, but you do need a listening ear. That will help some.

Next, you need some serious stress reduction of your own. It sounds unfair that you're just going to have to keep getting dumped on for a while, but it's part of life, that's how it works; fighting it with attitude, even in your head, will only make it worse for you. You need to be able to release the stress it causes you. Regular workouts or a sport are probably the best way. Then, consider meditation. I know it sounds nuts, but it really will help. You can learn to meditate in THE RELAXATION RESPONSE by Herbert Benson, which you can probably find in your public library or cheap online. If you're religious, you can add meditation to your religious activities, but the important thing is to do it twice a day, one minute for every year of your life (if you're 15, that's 15 minutes twice a day). Try to do it at the same time every morning after waking, and every evening after school or before dinner.

Believe it or not, the relaxation that you inspire in yourself will have a carryover effect on your parents, without their knowledge, and they will probably lighten up a little. Then, as you get better at it, maybe more.

One thing I realized when I got older is that it's REALLY HARD to be a parent! Omigosh it just boggles the mind. Not that that is any excuse for stressing on your kids, but very often parents don't even realize they're doing it. They are kind of distorted in their judgment, doing, as I mentioned, what was done to them. It's truly a vicious and almost inescapable cycle. So try to forgive them. Being the best, calmest person you can be will have the most calming impact on them, and ultimately affect how they treat you. But do get yourself some support, someone to talk to about this. You deserve it. You sound like a good kid. And how else will you break this cycle with your own children, except by being aware? :-) Good luck.

Answer 4

well...that's normal......
parents stuff........
you might think that they are unfair...but if you're going 2 think about it seriously.....they are not that unfair really.....
you could talk 2 them if you want..ask them why they are acting like that...it's hard but just try....
or.....just ask them what they want you to do......maybe.
they want you to stay put inside your house and be with them instead of getting around wiht your classm8s or friends......
its normal for us teenagers to be with our classm8s or friends most of the time which seems unfair for our parents...you know..parents are sometimes overprotective.......balance your time....if you've got something to do like helping in the household chores then do it first before doing your assignments...there's a time for everything........and try to befriend with your parents......you'll feel happier that way

Answer 5

All parents are unfair and can't trust their kids for some reason! I can't stand it when they do that! They yell at you for no particular reason, and when you ask them why they are yelling they say, "You know why!" I really can't help, but I can relate.

Answer 6

Wow i think are parents are clones! My parents do that to.. it sucks so much... except they look down at me and my lil sister... email me if you want to talk.. i think we might have alot in common

[e-mail]