There's a married man that I have recently become very good friends with. We've gone dancing in a group of people and did some hot dirty dancing. We have admitted that there is an attraction. We hug frequently, any chance we get, and he has admitted he's crazy about me. But we also have talked about the fact that he is very married, and that we need to be friends. We have not done anything that is sexual, except a peck on the cheek. Are we having an affair or not? I feel very guilty.
2006-11-07 13:21:21 · 41 answers · asked by orphanannie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've not stepped past the boundaries of having an affair but are very close. You have emotional feelings attached to this man which can be considered cheating. It's best that you keep your distance from him so that nothing will go any further.
2006-11-07 13:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's not technically adultery (especially for you - you're not the one who's married!), but the man has to ask himself one question. Could you two act like that in front of his wife or your significant other without them minding? If the answer is no (and it most certainly will be in your case!), then what you're doing is wrong. Don't be that woman. Plus, you feel guilty. That tells you everything you need to know. And you know it. :-) Sounds like you two really need to cool off before you can have anything close to an appropriate friendship. I.e., stay away from one another for a while. Also, it's not really appropriate to be friends with this man if you're not on good, friendly terms with the wife. Good luck!
2006-11-07 13:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by Alli8833 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is married, and you said you haven't done anything sexual, but yet you say you did some hot dirty dancing. His wife would probobly be very hurt if she knew about it. Please don't let it go any further, it isn't right to hurt her, and just maybe this isn't the first time he has pulled this little act. If he was truly " Very Married " he wouldn't be out dancing with you. He would be dancing with his wife. Sounds like he wants to keep his wife but would like a treat on the side also. Go find yourself a new friend, one who is not married.
2006-11-07 13:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Bonnie L. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty then in your mind you are. Technically you haven't had sex with him yet but just your thoughts could be counted as an affair. You say you hug everychance you get and he's married!!! If you're crazy about him and he's crazy about you yes it's an affair. He's married and this may just be a phase he's going through. Or he married the wrong women. Either way you should respect that's he's married and let him make the choice of her over you, or you over her.
2006-11-07 13:23:51 · answer #4 · answered by amagaldi_star 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just because you have not done anything sexual, does not mean that you two are not doing anything wrong.
Are married man should not be out with another woman dancing, kissing, hugging, and saying he is crazy about you.
You need to break away from this guy, and put distance between yourself and him. There is only bad that can happen for all people involved. Plus, do you really want to be the one who breaks up a marriage?
By your comment, I think that you already realize that what you are doing is not right. Please go with your gut feeling here, and end it with this guy.
2006-11-07 13:26:15 · answer #5 · answered by star22 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
An affair or any relationship begins in the mind. The psychology of a romance is instinctually triggered upon attraction. "No" you have not committed adultery yet but, stay this course your on and you will soon get there.... No one has that much will- power/ so why torture yourself.... If you already feel guilty, imagine how you will feel once it has become sexual???? If he cares for you and no longer loves his wife... Wait til he gets out of that relationship..... Just a thought....Peace.......
2006-11-07 13:31:22 · answer #6 · answered by Martini-69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are innocent then why are you feeling guilty? Because you know you both are doing the wrong thing. End it before it becomes something you both cant back out of. He is married...and a scumbag for entwining you in his little flirtation. He wants his cake and eat it too...dont be a part of it. It's cheating or his wife would be there too wouldnt she? Poor beggar is probably stuck at home with 4 kids though while he is wining, dining and dancing with you. And she probably hasnt been out with him on a date for 2 years or more. Shame on you...but bigger shame on him.
2006-11-07 13:26:16 · answer #7 · answered by dragonrider707 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
HI
If you were married, would you want your husband doing and wondering about these same things? What would you label these thoughts and actions if your spouse was doing them? Dancing in some cultures is sexual foreplay. If your thoughts are overwhelmed by this very question then you should stop before things become concrete.
2006-11-07 13:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by Erik 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does it matter if it meets some textbook definition of adultery or not?
If the wife finds out and gets upset at the two of you, are you going to wave the definition in her face and say "ha ha it wasn't adultery".
By the way, it doesn't sound like he's "very married" at all if he's going around doing things like this.
2006-11-07 13:27:11 · answer #9 · answered by watsonc64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could turn out to be adultry pretty quick. This doesnt sound good for you or him. It could turn out to be a divorce for him later and then you could get the pick up off of him. That is not right. Right now, you should start feeling guilty for doing some of these things behind his wifes back. Just watch it because sex could make a giant leap in your life and his pretty quick.
2006-11-07 13:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by Gait 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋