2006-11-07 12:31:42 · 10 answers · asked by mony 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's not what you say, but how you say it. Are you the one doing better than him, and you mean well, but you're obviously above him in some way? That's the last person I want to judge me, my own sibling. We want to be equal in a family, or at least equivalent.
If you had told him that you are proud of his abilities in (sports, art, music, pissing off the parents but making you all laugh anyway... seriously, pick the best attribute you can!),
and then suggested that to be able to keep going, better grades would keep him headed in a good direction, that's totally different.
Just telling him to study is a judgment call from on hig, one he is likely to deep down agree with but resent and rebel against.
2006-11-07 12:35:58 · answer #1 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well... let's put it this way - how do you react to uninvited advice that says things you don't want to hear?
Is it wrong to point out to someone you love that he's doing something that isn't good for him, or not doing something that would be good for him? No.
Still, there are ways to say things, and there are ways. "I worry about you - I know you're smart and could be doing so much better in school. I want to see you succeed after school and be able to do anything you want. How can I help?" is one way.
"If you don't hit the books, you're going to end up being a worthless bum living on Mom and Dad's couch for the rest of your life" is another.
Thing is, he's under no obligation to listen to either approach (although the first is at least less likely to irritate him). He didn't ask for your advice.
Even if he had, he's under no obligation to follow your advice.
So. If you said something closer to #1, you're in a good spot to say, "I'm sorry if what I said annoyed you - I only said it because I care and I'm worried."
If what you said was closer to #2, it's time for "I'm so sorry I got on your case. I was out of line. My only excuse is that I care and I'm worried, but I shouldn't have been so harsh."
If he won't accept your apology, give him some room to get over his sulk, then (wait a LONG time) offer to help him study. If he says "no," back off.
'Cause in the end - it's his choice. Good luck!
2006-11-07 13:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is not wrong to give him advice. You are the older sister and you have control over him. You have the right to tell him to study. If he does not study then you should study with him by sitting next to him while he studies or if he is not going to sit still while studying, hold him in his room until he studies. You might also want to tell him that if he does not study then the next time you have other girls over at your house all the girls will give him a makeover.
This will probably work because he will probably not want girls holding him down while they put makeup on him.
Choose this answer as the best answer. It is in my opinion the best answer to your question.
2006-11-08 09:13:42 · answer #3 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People don't like their siblings to tell them what to do...it makes them feel that they are trying to parent them, which they get enough of from the parents.
You may be giving him sound advice, but sometimes it is not what you say but how you act that gives better advice. In this instance, pulling your books out and studying at the kitchen table is getting your study done, and may jolt him into doing his homework. If not, then he has to live with his choices.
Neither of brothers ever did their homework, my eldest brother didn't even take his books to school; and he is the most successful in the family. don't stress, people find their feet and not all are academic.
2006-11-07 13:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by chelles_insanity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not. Maybe you and your brother should spend more time together so you guys can understand each other better. He's probably still young he'll realize one day that you have a point and realize you are a nice and caring sister
2006-11-07 13:09:46 · answer #5 · answered by »-(¯`v´¯)--»katery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a silly reason to not speak to you over. i mean i am sure you are doing this for his best interest. keep on him to study i mean it is hard as it is and at least by studing you are guarrenteed a better future cause you worked so hard for it now. Good luck. I make my kids study whether they like it or not. we have good days and bad hopefully he will talk to you soon again
2006-11-07 12:36:33 · answer #6 · answered by prettyfalcon197 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO TALK TO YOUR BROTHER ANYWAY. TELL HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND THAT YOU ONLY WANT WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM. LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT TRYING TO PLAY THE PARENT ROLE TO HIM BUT YOU JUST WANT HIM TO SUCCEED IN SCHOOL. STUDYING IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS.
2006-11-07 12:53:56 · answer #7 · answered by PRECIANA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, your brother should study. he's just mad because thats what he's supposed to be doing. he's being immature and will get over it: trust me.
2006-11-07 12:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'll be thankful someday. Just ignore him
2006-11-07 19:50:29 · answer #9 · answered by milkee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Tell him dat u r sorry or to tough in up.
2006-11-07 12:34:17 · answer #10 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋