What Job Applicants Really Mean
I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.
I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.
I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I've used Microsoft Office.
I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.
MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: I blame others for my mistakes.
I'M BALANCED AND CENTERED: I'll keep crystals at my desk and do Tai Chi in the lunch room.
I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR: I know a lot of corny, old jokes and I tell them badly.
I'M PERSONABLE: I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
I'M WILLING TO RELOCATE: As I leave San Quentin, anywhere's better.
I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL: I carry a Day-Timer.
MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS: You're probably looking for someone more experienced.
I AM ADAPTABLE: I've changed jobs a lot.
I AM ON THE GO: I'm never at my desk.
I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED: The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.
I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING: I'm a college drop-out.
I INTERACT WELL WITH CO-WORKERS: I've been accused of sexual harassment.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION: Wait! Don't throw me away!
I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON: Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career
2006-11-07 12:19:37 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
wow...it is more for you to laugh not ask me where is the question. where is the humor people?
2006-11-07 12:28:58 · update #1
More excellence, thanks!
2006-11-07 12:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As the person responsible for hiring for my company, this is not only hilarious, but so true! Some resumes crack me up.
2006-11-08 11:12:32 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ Ladylike ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just hope that you are not a manager
2006-11-07 12:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
LMAO. so funny
2006-11-07 13:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by Ellis S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is..........
2006-11-07 12:21:05 · answer #5 · answered by ?born2lose? 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
OK
2006-11-07 12:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by Diamond in the Rough 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
and your question is.....?
2006-11-07 12:21:45 · answer #7 · answered by clb199 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋