I want a mother's ring... but is it appropriate???

Question

I have two children of my own and a step-child ( who doesn't live with us). Do I put his birthstone on there too?

wow, thanks for all the responses! I would really love to put his stone and name on it, just worried what other people might think. He doesn't live with us or visit much, but I do love him like he's my own. Just worried it might insult his mother.. I'm not sure how'd I'd feel if my daughter's step mom put her on her ring, I might be offended at first but I guess I'd be happy she thought that much of her really.

Answer 1

If you love this child and consider him part of your family then yes, I would add his birthstone too.

Family is still family whether they live with you or live a thousand miles away. It is a lesson I have tried to teach my own kids. Family is also not only dictated by who shares your blood, but is who you care about.

Added thought: If you are worried about what the child's mother will think, then ask her. The worst she can do is object but then atleast you will know where she stands and will have an answer for your step-son should he question later why he was not included.

Answer 2

I would not, your step child has a mother right, but if you would be ok with another woman putting your childrens birthstones on her mothers ring then I guess you should. If are thinking that is a way to include that child as part of your family there are other ways.

Answer 3

That depends on you, and your personal preference. Also, when you tell people about the ring, I don't think its necessary that you point out that, (these are the step childrens stones)
My mother in law, put me and my daughter (her natural grandaugher in her ring) she also put her late husband, and she called it her family circle ring. Even though later her son and I divorced she still wears the ring with my stone, and I asked her about it and she said child I would never take you out, you were and still are a part of my family circle, your my grandaughters mother and always will be. It depends on how big your heart is.
I like the idea of the family circle ring.

Answer 4

That's a tough one! How close are you to your step-child? If you guys are close and get along well I'd put his/her birthstone on there. How old is he/she? If he/she is younger I'd put it on there because chances are he/she won't care--or won't notice. It all depends on how close you two are--it's your decision. Ask your husband he'll probably let you know--if he likes the idea--go with it. I'm sorry I couldn't be much help but this is the best I can think of.

Answer 5

The mom doesn't need to know the ring's signifiance, and neither does the step child unless you want to tell him/her. If you do let your kids know what the ring is for, tell the stepchild that "Even though you have a mother who loves you very much, I wanted to include you in this ring becuase I love you just as much as the children that I gave birth to, and i always will."

Answer 6

If you have taken any part in raising this child the absolutely! A mother is a mother! Giving birth is the easy part. Raising the child is what is the hardest. If you acknowledge the child as being part of your family then I would not leave him out. My mother always told me the only steps in our family were the ones leading into the house. Best Wishes!

Answer 7

If you feel a mother-like love for this step-child, I think it is totally appropriate for you to include them in your mother's ring. Ask the child how they feel, and your husband. If you have a good relationship with the child's mother, ask her too.

Answer 8

my mother has 4 children & had 4 step children, she put all 8 in her mothers ring. I think if you consider them "one of your own" then put their stone in. It is really a personal preference.

Answer 9

it would be very nice if you did
but you don't need to feel like you have too
it is not your child biologically
but your husband may want you too
on the other hand the step child mother may be upset if you did
because she is his birth mother
it is kind of a difficult decision
best of luck

Answer 10

I would definately put his or her birthstone also i wouldnt tell the mother she may get offended or mad so just dont say anything to her about it the child will feel that much more special i guarentee you that. So just do it. :)