Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
2006-11-07 12:05:56 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
just wanted to share, see if you like it.
2006-11-07 12:06:14 · update #1
Hehe, those are pretty good
Currently my message machine says, "Roses are red, and boogers are green. Please leave your message on this stupid machine!"
I love stupid recordings like those!
2006-11-07 12:12:15 · answer #1 · answered by legallyblond2day 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi you've reached ( ). I'm either out and can't talk to you, home but don't want to talk to you or home, desperately want to talk to you but am trapped under something heavy. Leave a message.
2006-11-07 12:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by nvr10pts 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Excellent! Time to change my Machine at home!
By the way Aquarius, thoroughly enjoy your jokes. Keep em coming please. Check out mine below for a kick.
2006-11-07 12:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin J 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
LOL Funny
2006-11-07 12:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by Steve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
too freakin funny dats definitely hilarious hun
2006-11-07 12:42:17 · answer #5 · answered by Miz AmERYKA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they are all funny but #1 is the funniest no doubt
2006-11-07 12:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where did you get this? I want more ideas to put on my machine!
2006-11-07 12:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by Elizabeth R 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
love it and all ur other lists and jokes lol love it thx 4 the laugh
kayla
2006-11-07 12:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by im lost come and find me 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I love em! very funny!
2006-11-07 12:17:37 · answer #9 · answered by brknarrow23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i luv them i really like #3 it lol
2006-11-07 12:17:15 · answer #10 · answered by iluvmypuppy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋