What is the funniest thing a family member or friend has done or said?

Question

I would like some completely hillarious stories, and lots of 'em!!!!!! I think the funniest and most embarasing thing was when we were shopping for a seafood dinner and bought a lobster. We were looking for creamy alfredo sauce and my three yr. old yells out "MY MOMMY GOTS CRABS AND SHE NEEDS SOME CREAM!"
Nobody knew he was talking about lobsters. I was sooooo embarest!!!
Give me lots and lots of funny stories please. I am almost eight months pregnant and I am extremely hormonal and I just really want to laugh my a*s of right now!!!!

PLEASE MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please give me more than just one story, I need a ton. Thank you so much and I like the third answerers stories!!!

And also, I like to laugh really hard, not just smile!!! :)

Answer 1

My son pointed to the tampons in the store and yelled "Do you need this for your bleeding?"

My daughter was telling me she was excited about going to the dentist. I said "Oh, why?" she said "I like it when they give me nachos". I said "They feed you there? I thought they were suppose to clean your teeth?" and she said "They don't feed me, they give me Nachos... you know, that funny gas" (Nitrous)

My son looked at a picture of Beyonce and said "Mom, you look like her!" (I'm a big white girl in my 30's..... opposite of Beyonce! LOL) (I thanked him and then thought that maybe it's time to get his eyes checked)

When my daughter's 1st grade class, last year, was talking about the human body, they were talking about this organ and that.. and their jobs. They talked about skin. My daughter said out loud "My little brother has this extra skin down there (points to the crotch) and it's called a penis. Daddy says that if he doesn't stop playing with it, it's gonna fall off" and she said it all serious. My sister, who was the teacher, tried not to laugh but said the little boy next to her was getting red in the face.

Answer 2

My 5 year old told me while we were walking down the street, that he wanted to be in the room when I gave birth to his brother because he wants to see the baby come out of my vagina. I thought that was funny because there was a lady behind us and her facial expression was shock. I'm not sure if it was because of his vocabulary are what but she started laughing when I told him its to late I had his brother already and he would have just cried if he was in the room. I guess some people just don't teach their children proper names for body parts or their embarrassed about the proper names. Well that's my funny story hope fully you laugh a little.

Answer 3

My then 4 twelve months previous granddaughter replaced into exhibiting me a e book approximately Golden Retrievers (they have 2) she have been given on the library. She got here to an internet site with a flow part of the insides of a canines. She pointed to the top and suggested, "there is his brains." She pointed to a number of different physique aspects and suggested what they have been. Then she pointed to the intestines that have been yellow interior the drawing and suggested, "i think of he had macaroni and cheese for lunch." She has been the main prolific of all 3 granddaughters in springing up with unusual issues.

Answer 4

When my daughter was 8 years old she had a female cat that was coming into heat, and driving me crazy. Well, one day as she was watching her cat being foolish as female cats are at this time she turns and says " Mommy, when cats go in heat she'll run off with any boy she sees, right? Do people go into heat too?" I wasn't sure what to say at this point........

Answer 5

One time, we went out to eat, my son was young. When we sat down, across the restaurant was a mirror on the wall...and he said "Look those people look just like us!" We still laugh about that one.
Kids can always crack you up!