My boyfriend's daughter is 11. She's a great kid. Smart. Loving. Kind. I've been around since she was two - and she lives with us during the school week. I've noticed that she doesn't show much incentive towards anything. She knows the drill regarding homework - and music practice, but when it comes to other things in life - she just doesn't show incentive. She doesn't say "I want to do this..." or "I'm saving up for this" or "Do you think I could..." When I was her age I was putting on shows and carnivals with my friends in my backyard. I would see something in a catalogue and work for the money to get it. She gets fundraiser stuff from school or scouts - but without our help and prodding - it would just sit. If we suggest an outing or a game - she's up for it - but very rarely does she announce what she wants or what she's working towards. I know there are lots of different kinds of people in the world, but I worry about her a bit. Also - what can I do to encourage her?
2006-11-07 11:19:48 · 7 answers · asked by liddabet 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Different people are different when it comes to motivation levels and incentive. You can't force them to do anything, but, you can find out what they like, and help them to be able to do it. If she likes dancing, for instance, try and set her up in a class where she can learn and have fun, but not be threatened. Sometimes people, especially children, avoid doing things that might open them up to what they perceive as threatening situations (like teasing and such...)
2006-11-07 11:23:19 · answer #1 · answered by CJ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my 11 yr old daughter. Although within the last few months (since she entered 6th grade middle school) she is really beginning to open up. Last year she wasnt "in" to much. I didnt care for her friends really either. This year she seems to be blossoming. Really starting to find herself. She's more apt to talk about school and her friends and so forth. To encourage her find things that interest her. The carnivals and shows of our youth have been replaced with IM and cellphones and such. My daughter mentioned that she was interested in fashion one day as almost an after thought.. I grasped on to it. Found things for her to enhance that interest. Maybe it will grow maybe it won't lol.. but its something.. Bottom line is I think she is normal. Prob not much to worry about. Good Luck to you
2006-11-07 12:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by mommy of 4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 11 year old is somewhat the same way, I think it is in the "tween" area of expertise. They do what they have to, (usually with reminders), then they just want to do whatever. Mine wants to do a lot of outside activities, and always wants to have a friend over, but then they just sit there. No, I do not think they show incentive yet, but I am hoping it starts to kick in soon.
2006-11-07 15:46:54 · answer #3 · answered by C B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she feels like she has to do what is asked of her and nothing more? I mean Music lessons, Scouts...Etc. Was it her idea to join up with these or You and your boyfriend? I'm not judging, i have witnessed this type of behavior before and then she hit 14 and was rebelious. Teach her about the benifits of saving! For an example, find something you like and save for it (Even if you don't need to save, Act like you do), with her knowing what you are saving for, talk about saving in front of her or ask her to join in counting change and say "Only $50 to go"...etc.
2006-11-08 02:14:14 · answer #4 · answered by Scrad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
costly nameless: i'm sorry you're having lots difficulty. enable me initiate via telling you that particular, you're able to have a wholesome dating with a woman and a few day you will probable get married. you at the instant are not on my own in this count; there are different people who've had the comparable difficulty and function gotten married and function a wholesome dating with their spouse. once you get a girl buddy, do no longer tell her approximately your difficulty. Why would desire to you? i think of you will desire to work out your physician and notice if perchance there's a medicine that ought to help. perchance they'll carry out a little bloodwork and notice if there is something incorrect bodily. in case you're able to make it by the day in college or artwork, then there is desire. you probable are utilising this as an outlet for something else this is bothering you; perchance only lonliness or boredom. it is going to bypass once you detect different issues to maintain you busy, yet i do no longer recommend which you ever tell your lady buddy(s). it somewhat is basically a private difficulty which will bypass. you at the instant are not a bad guy or woman and you at the instant are not a freak. only save on attempting to do something else, it somewhat is addicting, only like particularly some different issues and only one thing which you easily would desire to triumph over. yet you at the instant are not undesirable and you do no longer would desire to 'confess' to any woman you ensue to flow out with. stable success. it gets extra suitable with time and with self administration and searching something else to do.
2016-10-21 10:59:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are said it....there are lots of different kinds of people in the world...she sounds as a normal kid to me...as long as she has some friends I wouldn´t worry....
2006-11-07 11:48:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's normally the "I don't care if you care 'cause I don't care" stage. a lazy, laid-back, stage for middle schoolers and jr. high students.
2006-11-08 11:44:17 · answer #7 · answered by cjm 3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋