funny jokes?

Question

write a joke and if its freiken hilarious ill give you ten points.

Answer 1

One is a song, and another is a Michael Jackson joke.

Number 1:

(Sung to the tune of 'I Believe I Can Fly')

♫ I believe I can die, ♫
♫ I got ran over by the Ice Cream guy, ♫
♫ All I wanted was a popsicle, ♫
♫ Instead I ended up in a hospital . . . ♫

Number 2:

Q: What does a television and Michael Jackson have in common?

A: They both can get turned on by three year olds.

That's all I got.

Answer 2

What is the worst part of a male's body?
His penis, Why?
Because it's got an eye that can't see
Hangs around 2 nuts
His best friend is a ****
His enemy is an asshole
And whenever it gets happy, it spews up all over it self.


Top Ten Thoughts Going Through Saddam Hussein's Mind At This Moment

10. "I guess there's no point in counting carbs anymore"

9. "So much for the lucky beard"

8. "Hanging? I was sure they were gonna send Cheney over here to shoot me"

7. "And yet Donald Trump lives..."

6. "How about one last conjugal with Streisand?"

5. "My classmates did say I was 'Most Likely To Be Hanged'"

4. "If only I'd gotten more education like John Kerry said"

3. "At least it's an exit strategy"

2. "Well I won't have to watch the Knicks"

1. "My approval rating is still higher than Bush's

Answer 3

ok so here it goes,

One day a mother heard her son playing with a train in the family room. She got a little worried when he said " All You sons-of-Bi*ches
who need a ride get the f~ck on! and all Ya'll who are juss standing around go the f~ck away!

So she sent him to his room for 2 hours as a punishment....

After the 2 hours was up the little boy came out, and said "Ladies and Gentleman this is the last call for anyone who needs a ride, and for anyone who is upset about the 2hours delay, see the ***** in the kitchen!


lol..i thought it was pretty funny...u?

Answer 4

An airline's passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served them food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and announced to the passengers, Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put our trays up, that would be super."

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed a well-dressed rather exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines. I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "in my country, I am called a
princess. I take orders from no one."

To which the flight attendant! replied, without missing a beat, "well sweet-cheeks, in my country, I'm called a queen so I out rank you.

Tray-up, b*****."

Answer 5

all right how this one...

"Ok class to day we shall work on Most definitely questions. For example, My eyes are most definitely blue." siad the teacher.

Sue's had shot up...
"The sky is most definitely blue" she said

"No Sue.... Some time the sky is green, pink gray or black. the sky is most definitely not blue" Replied the Teacher.

Jimmy rased his hand and siad, "Grass is most definitely green."

"No Jimmy,some times its brown or yellow. So grass is most definitely not green."

Tom siad "Fire is most definitely warm"

"No, not if it's blazing, or ihas just started." said the teacher getting a little anoyed.


Bobby slowly raised his hand.
"Mrs Kay? Do farts have lumps??"

"Uhhh... no I don't think so...Bobby" Se anwersd puzzled.

"Oh, Ok then... Then i MOST DEFINITLY pooped my pants!!!"

Answer 6

The rooster went acroos the street and said,"cock-a doodle do",the call girl crossed and said"Any cock will do"

Answer 7

How does a blonde know if she's flat-chested?

All the bumps she sees are her knees!