Whats you favorite sick joke !?

Question

ie , Elton John had a song about Mother theresa's
death , it was called " sandals in the bin " !

Answer 1

1 : The salesman stopped at a farmhouse one evening to ask for room and board for the night. The farmer told him there was no vacant room. "I could let you sleep with my daughter," the farmer said, "if you promise not to bother her." The salesman agreed. After a hearty supper, he was led to the room. He undressed in the dark, slipped into bed, and felt the farmer's daughter at his side. The next morning he asked for his bill. "It'll be just two dollars, since you had to share the bed," the farmer said. "Your daughter was very cold," the salesman said. "Yes, I know," said the farmer. "We're going to bury her today."

2 : This man pulls up in his Merc beside a little boy.
He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, "Hey kid, if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car."
To which the kid replies, "Gimme the bag and I'll come in your mouth!"

3 : In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!
Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.

Answer 2

Don't have a favorite, but many of these are pretty funny. Thumbs up from me on most of them.




Ohhh... and to Mr. brian_music_football. You too are included in that death thing, who's going to remember you in 500 years? Heck, how do you know Mother Theresa will be remembered in 500 years? Someone else might come along in that time and focus could shift. That's the cool thing about the future, it isn't set yet. Soooo, if you don't have a sense of humour, stay the heck out of a post that is asking for people's sickest jokes. Your just wasting our time and your own. And I should report your little smart remark about people giving you a thumbs down... nice language dude.

KJ out!

Answer 3

Not sure about sick, but im sure some will hate it...

Joseph comes home from the Bethlehem job centre to see three men with parcels standing outside his front door. As he goes in Mary shouts any luck dear?. Don't give me that "dear" bulls**t he says, here we are with bleedin baby and Christ knows who the father is, there's no f**king work to be had anywhere at this time of year and there's three blokes outside with stuff from the f**king catalogue.


Q: What's small brown and warm and found in the back of little boys underwear?
A: Michael Jackson's Hand!


An acquaintance was working in a bar in Germany, when a slightly pikey Irish family came in. Little Johhny was being a pain in the ****, so his mum eventually whacked him.
A German lady came over and said "In Germany we don't smack our children"
"Yeah? well in Ireland we don't burn our Jews, so **** off and mind your own business!"


enjoy ;-D

Answer 4

It was the end of the school year at one primary school and the children where giving out presents to the teacher. The florists daughter gave the teacher a cone shaped present wrapped in brown paper and the teacher said "ooh is it a bunch of flowers?" "yes" replied the pupil. Then the sweet shop owners son stepped up and gave the teacher his present and the teacher said "ooh is a box of chocolate?" "yes" said the boy. Then the wine shop owners son stepped up and gave the teacher his present which she saw was dripping from a corner. She put her finger under the drips and licked her finger and asked "is it wine?" "no" replied the boy she had another taste and asked "is it champagne?" "no" replied the boy "it’s a puppy!"

Answer 5

A drunk goes in a noisy pub and hears 750 and
the pub cheers.Pushing through the crowd to get to the bar he hears 939,again cheers and he's-pushed to the bar.A pint of lager he shouts
to the barman-then hears 180,then moans from
the drinkers.Barman brings he's pint and he asks him whats happening.Derby darts match
says the barman,then hears 879.You can't score that many playing darts says the drunk.
The barman replies-You can if your throwing hedgehogs.

Answer 6

Dude this is the funniest one i've ever hear in my life



There was a little girl and she HATED sunday school.
She always fell asleep. One day the teacher asked her a question. Christie? Who created the earth? A little bot named Johnny behind her jabbed her with a pencil. Immediatly she shouted " GOD AlMIGHTY!" and she fell back asleep. Again her teacher asked her a question. Christie, who is our savior? and again, Johnny jabbed her in the back. "JESUS CHRIST!" christie shouted. "Good" said the teacher. And again christie fell back asleep. Then, the sunday school teacher asked her Christie? What did Eve say after she had hre 19th child? and again Johnny jabbed her in the back. " DAMN IT! IF YOU JAB THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA BREAK IT IN HALF!

Answer 7

the elton john thing funny but i dont get the sandle

Answer 8

A mother tucks her blind son into bed and says 'sleep tight now Billy. Make a wish, and in the morning it will be true.' Naturally, little Billy wishes he could see, but when he wakes in the morning he's still as blind as the day before. He says to his mum

'Mummy, last night I wished I could see, but I'm still blind!'

And his mum says:

'I know! April Fools!!'

Answer 9

why should you never shag a dwarf with learning difficulties?

because it's not big and it's not clever




What's the difference between a mercedes and a pile of dead babies?

I haven't got a mercedes in my garage

Answer 10

What do you do when a blonde throws a gernade at you?


pull the plug and throw it back