ok i usually wouldnt ask personal questions such as i am right now but put yourself in my shoes...?

Question

ok i feel really stupid for askin about this because it really needs to be my own decision but i was just curious of what other people would do in my situation. me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over four months ( i know, not that long) and were both virgins. he says hes ready for sex but im not 100% completely positive that im ready just yet. when we ever get close i can tell that he really isnt as ready as he says he is. a few of our friends have had sex with there gf/bf and they things are good with them so is it ok for us? he talks about it a lot and it isnt awkward for either of us to talk about it. we even talk about what we would do if i got pregnant! the things i worry about is the common answers, what if i get pregnant?, will this change our relationship in a bad way?, is he only going to want sex after it happens?, what if i regret it?. im not asking for advice im just seeing what you would do in my situation. tell me what you would do, not what i should do

Answer 1

If you're not completely sure, you're not ready. wait until you are, despite what many a person would have you believe, sex is very special , especially your first time and you want to be able to remember it fondly, not regret it.

Answer 2

I would not have sex with him.
Sex is not an isolated event, it is a fundamental change in your relationship with your partner and it leads to changes in every subsequent relationship you have with the opposite sex. In short, starting to be sexual is a BIG DEAL.

For me, 4 months would not be long enough, but more important than the time is the fact that it's not a step to take until and unless you are 100% certain because you can never go back. I would ignore all of my friends' experience because (a) they are different than I am and (b) having made the irreversible decision, they will be inclined to say it was "right" because otherwise they feel horrible themselves. They lack objectivity.

Finally, if you aren't sure that the guy isn't just interested in the sex, then don't go there. He will certainly want sex after the first time and you must be sure that you have firm confidence that he wants you for more than that.

If it was me, I would keep him at some earlier stage and wait.

Answer 3

I would take the time to get to know him better and wait intill we are both 100% ready for sex and I would stop worrying about what other people are doing and know that I am doing what is right for me and not what is better for everyone else. I would also look into the different types of birth control and choose one that is best for me so I am prepared when I am ready for sex, since having a baby is a big responsiblity and knowing that it would change my life forever, especially if your too young and not ready for it.

Answer 4

Well, I wouldn't have sex if I were you. Once you do it, you can't take it back. I think I would talk to him about waiting some more and see how that goes...probably talk to him about my concerns and see if he has the same ones. Sometimes guys are a lot more sensitive and considerate than women give them credit for, so any real, caring boyfriend would be happy to wait a little longer. He's probably just as nervous and would appreciate a little more time to get used to things.

Answer 5

Tell him you will attend but you will not lie, and you will introduce yourself to her grandparents and everyone else as his daughter. So he better fess up before hand if he doesn't want the grandparents taking a heart attack or making a scene at the wedding. (sounds like an excuse. I wouldn't be surprised to find out if no one knew about you) If he cannot be a man and do this then do not go and cut off relationship again. He's not worth your time and energy. I saw a saying once. - anyone can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Answer 6

first and foremost --- no protection NO SEX

you both sound like you are not ready so dont worry dont do it --- because other people have is no reason for you to

sex will change the relationship for good or bad you wont know till its over

so for me (but im a LOT older) sex is not a big deal --- its fun and it rounds out a relationship but its not make or break

for you waiting getting to know each other even more sounds a good idea

Answer 7

I would think about it and if I really wasn't 100% sure then that to me would say that I really wasn't ready therefore I wouldn't until I felt ready. If I had to ask others on their opinion then that says not ready. How old are you, and your b/f age? other people can't really give the answer, it is within yourself. Think before you do.

Answer 8

I would wait, especially if you aren't ready. Im pretty sure that he isnt ready, he is just saying that to "look cool" because all his friends talk about it. If im not completely 100% sure, then I dont do things.

Answer 9

You already answered your own question. You're not ready. Don't do it. Leave it at that. Wait until you are 100% ready because once you do it there is no going back. Thats what I would do.

Answer 10

plain and simple- if you're not ready, don't do it. If you have sex and you have doubts or are unsure, it's gonna be a bad decision. Sex is for mature people who are ready to commit to something like that. He might be being pressured to have sex with you. If you wait, you will be much happier. Be satisfied with what you have, not worried about what you don't. :-)