Getting big brother ready for baby?

Question

My son is just over 13 months old, and everything is wonderful. However, in about 9 months my husband and I are going to start trying for a second child.

We have heard horror stories of parents not preparing their children properly--big brothers trying to kill young sisters (I had to witness the funeral to this one), etc. We really want to prepare our son.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Obviously at this age he isn't going to know what's going on, so we aiming for little things--like buying a toy doll maybe? We're trying to do baby steps right now, but once we are 3 months pregnant (9 months is a LONG time to wait for a little kid!), we'll start taking larger steps.

ANY advice would be greatly appreciated!

**I ALWAYS pick a best answer**

Answer 1

A doll is a great idea! Don’t take any “big steps’ until you are showing. Prepare for some regression once the baby arrives. He may feel very jealous of the baby because was the center of your world for a long time and he will have to share you. He may start to feel powerless. Make sure, when the baby arrives, you take time everyday to show him how much you love him. When the baby is sleeping, do an art project, read him a story, play a game, and things that show he is the "big boy" (he can help mommy with things, help make a snack or dinner, help with the baby...getting a diaper, let him pick out baby's outfit...).

Help him to feel powerful by saying things like "You did that by yourself. You can run super fast! Look how high you can climb! You used so many colors on your picture!" He will see that you notice him. This is a great way to show your attention and love and help him to feel powerful and confident. If he keeps getting messages like these, he should ease into this easily.

When he is aware that you are pregnant, get him a “Big Brother” shirt. He will be proud to wear it and enjoy comments he gets from others. You can also get him some books so he has a better idea on what to expect before the baby comes home. My New Baby-Annie Kubler Waiting for Baby-Annie Kubler The New Baby at Your House-Joanna Cole The New Baby-Fred Rogers are some good ones. Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

I think that your 13 month old son will be just fine with a new sibling. My son was 15 months old when I had my daughter. This is the perfect age as they are not quite as jealous as older children can be. At 13 months of age comprehension about having a new sibling beforehand is difficult. I would buy a doll or make a doll for your son. Does not have to be a girly doll but dolls are good for both genders. Give your son the doll as a gift. Show him how to hug the doll and even kiss the doll on his or her forehead. A 13 month old will not be able to change a pretend diaper or undress/dress a doll, so keep it simple. You can buy "I'm a Big Brother" book. We have this book. You can probably find this right at Wal-Mart, a bookstore or in the gift shop of a hospital. Read this book to him. He should be fine with his new sibling. Just watch. He'll probably not understand that baby's cannot be roughhoused with for a while. He is still a small child.

Answer 3

It would be an excellent idea to buy him a doll so he can learn about caring for people. You can also tell him that you love him and that he is going to have a baby brother or sister. Include him in all of the decisions about the baby's room and toys. It would also be a good idea to buy a stethoscope so he can listen to the baby's heartbeat. Also make it a point to set a special time or day to do some thing special with him, such as go to the library every Saturday. Just make him feel important and help him to get excited about the new baby.

Answer 4

A baby doll for your son is a perfect thing to do. My daughter started carrying around a baby at about 14 months old, and she still loves her baby!! (21 months now). She requests for it when she goes to bed, and takes care of it as I take care of her (brushing hair, giving it the pacifier, and trying to share her cups). You and your husband have a long time to prepare your son, so don't worry!! The fact that your asking about it so soon is great! You could also try to look for books @ a local library or bookstore. I know there are books out there about preparing a young child for becoming a big sibling. Good luck & best wishes to you!!

Answer 5

I think instances of siblings killing other siblings is frightning but pretty rare. I am deeply sorry you had to witness it. I think the biggest problem there is that parents forget and the first baby's "baby thunder"(as my hsuband calls it) is stolen. Keep it in perspective and keep him involved.
You figure your son will be 2 to 2 1/2 by the time you have another baby coming... still too young to really grasp "baby". But I think nature just kind of takes over and they immediately want to be part of the new siblings life when they arrive.
I would reccommend talking to him about babies, to be soft with the baby, love the baby, get him a baby doll of his own once you determine the sex of the child ( if you decide to)
Show him baby animals and other kids with younger siblings. Involve him in the ultra sound and doctors appointments so that he associates the baby with good things. Treats, or stories. I would even go so far as to have a big brother party / baby shower... you'll see it will be "his" baby by the time it comes.

Answer 6

My boys are exactly 18 months apart. I let my son feel my belly and talk to the baby while I was pregnant. The oldest is now 2 years, the baby 6 months old. They interact wonderfully, although the oldest sometimes is too rough with the baby. The oldest likes for the baby to sit next to him on the couch and even hold him sometimes.

I didn't realize that they would be so close emotionally though. They always watch for each other and the oldest usually can calm the baby. They are really fun together!

Answer 7

i'm kind of facing a similar problem.. my son is now 3 and his new baby sister will be here by the end of this month... what i've done with him is to put him around other children as much as possible to teach him how to interact and that sharing his toys really is ok... a friend of mine recently had a new baby.. i take my son around the baby as much i possibly can to get him familiar with how he needs to act around a baby.. and he's been great with this.. i let him play with my friends little girls baby dolls... and he seems to be doing quite well... maybe try reading him stories with his favorite characters becoming older siblings, or find some movies he would enjoy. just anything to get him familiar with how he should treat a new baby... and when you do become pregnant, try to let him be involved as much as he can... make him feel that this is his baby too... and when you get new things for the baby, pull him aside and give him a small treat of your liking, so that he doesn't get jealous.. i 've been doing that here... and it's seems to hold him down pretty well.... good luck and i wish you all the best....

Answer 8

Since your oldest will still be very young- don't tell him anything about a baby coming until you start to show... otherwise you'll hear questions about the baby coming out to play for 40 weeks. We made our oldest daughter as involved in everything as possible. We took her to the ultrasound so that she could see the baby, (the technician gave her her own picture of the baby to have), we asked for her opinion on names (she was 4 1/2 at the time), we listened on one of those dopplers to the heartbeat, she helped pick out the decorations for the baby's room, she decorated the car with Daddy (with the little welcome home baby signs), she came to the hospital (after the baby was born), she made a special sweatshirt that said "I'm the big sister", and when we had the baby shower, we also gave "big sister" presents that were just for her. Once the baby arrived, we gave her simple tasks to do to help out... she'd go get diapers and wipes when they were needed, grab a bib, help feed the baby (when the baby was able to eat rice cereal) and we let her hold the baby (sitting only, with an adult next to her). Just try to make him feel included in as many ways as you can, and you'll be amazed at the creative things they come up with to help out.

Answer 9

When I was pregnant with my 2nd child I just made it our baby. I avoided things like saying "I am having a baby" I always involved him when they baby kicked and he got to pick things out to buy for the baby...When his brother was born although he was not even 2 he was allowed to hold our baby and to "help" (not always easy) change diapers, get clothes and any other small tasks that I could think of! They love to be helpful when they're young and it's a good time to teach them. Most of all don't worry too much if there is a little jealousy at first...it happens but it goes away if they know they are loved too!

Answer 10

My first two children were only 13 months apart so it was hard but the third baby will be just two and three years apart ffrom the first two the best advice I can give is to make him as big a part as possible even at that young they are so enthuised by it all.