one is 30 years older than me but I love him dearly. We've been dating secretly for four years and my family has never met him. I love him so much and can't imagine my life without him. We know each other inside and out. The other is my age, my family adores him, but I don't love him as much as the older man. He would probably provide a better life as far as my family not being upset and he's someone I could grow old with. What should I do??
2006-11-07 09:28:51 · 35 answers · asked by curegirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You've already answered your own question. You know who you really want to be with and who makes you happy. What's the big deal?
2006-11-07 09:32:19 · answer #1 · answered by BreezyBaby 1 · 4⤊ 3⤋
you must be joking if you tell me that you are going to marry the guy 30 years older than you..Get this... you are not going to live and grow old with this older guy. He would die before your mid life crisis hits you.. You dont wanna be walking down the road and people saying.."aww... what a caring daughter he has.. she takes such good care of her dad" dont even marry the guy your family wants you to... find a third guy who you and your family can agree on...find him, know him, like him, love him.. and then think about getting married to him... right now.. single is the way to be!!!!!!!! (For you atleast...)
2006-11-07 09:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by teetlie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump both of them!
The older one is TOO old for you! It might NOT be too obvious now because he is not that old but he will not get the chance to see his kids get older, play with them like younger dads and you will be a window early in life.
As much as you do not want to admit it....there is a gap and it will be growing by the day. 3decades is a looooong time.
Your peer boyfriend is certainely not the "right" one either. If he was you would know immediately and not question it.
2006-11-07 09:40:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
make up your mind. you have been stringing both of them along for way too long
If you really like the older guy, tell your family tough and marry him. If you are old enough to decide on a partner you are old enough to make your own decision.
Follow your heart or you will make the wrong one in the end
2006-11-07 09:43:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How can you go out with someone for four years with out your family knowing. I think the older guy is married already. Go with the young guy.
2006-11-07 09:40:57 · answer #5 · answered by needanswers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your decision and your alone. Choose the man you are happiest with. If you marry the younger guy will you continue to have an affair with the older one like you are now? If so, you probably should marry the older one or not get married at all. Good Luck
2006-11-07 09:37:31 · answer #6 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marry whoever you think you'll be happyest with. For the longest time...Seriously sit down w/ a notebook, open it, write older guy on one page, other guy on other, compare the two, the good,the bad, the you don't knows, everything...see which one looks better. Be honest & follow your heart. Who cares what others think? Do what is good for YOU!!!
2006-11-07 12:23:38 · answer #7 · answered by prepishippie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would like to say age doesn't matter, but sometimes I think it does. Granted your family plays a part in your marriage but when it comes right down to it---It is your decision. Try making a list of pros and cons for each and then do some serious soul searching.
2006-11-07 09:34:23 · answer #8 · answered by firefly06 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Wait and see what evolves. You know yourself that there are issues with marrying either.
What is the hurry? Are the men on this planet drying up? It kinda sounds like the answer for you is neither.
2006-11-07 09:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So the guy you're in love with is around the same age as your parents? That's not so bad. Maybe they can room together when you stick all of them in a nursing home.
2006-11-07 10:38:53 · answer #10 · answered by Abu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go the alternate route. Don't marry either of them. You will be hurt no matter which way you choose. However, you have to decide what is more important... your immediate happiness has to be compared to how it will affect you later in life. Sometimes it's better to wait.
2006-11-07 09:38:09 · answer #11 · answered by John * 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋