I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year because he said he wasn't sure if he loved me. This would mean that everything he ever told me since we've been together was a lie. I couldnt be with him anymore, and I cried for 4 days straight. I finally stopped crying, and I'm ok now, but I was hurt so bad that I fear I'll never be able to love again. Alot of you wouldn't understand how bad I was hurt, because there's more details to the story. I don't want to be one of those bitter girls who hates boys period, and if I do find somebody else who really does truly love me, I'll end up hurting him. How can I avoid being one of those bitter black women?
2006-11-07 07:00:18 · 18 answers · asked by Déjà Vu 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dont answer the question by telling me im stupid and that i need to get over it. I gave you the short story, and you dont know everything that happened. I just want to know how to avoid being bitter to new guys that come into my life, and im NOT saying that im READY to date again because im NOT
2006-11-07 07:08:05 · update #1
oh yeah, and i dont mean bitter PERIOD...i just mean bitter if he tells me he loves me. this isnt the first time i've been seriously hurt by this
2006-11-07 07:12:25 · update #2
Oh shut up you stupid woman..most of us have been badly hurt but we get over it...stop the" poor me "act and enjoy yourself..dont take dating too seriously for a while and just have some fun.
2006-11-07 07:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
well ppl fall out of love everyday it doesnt mean he never really meant what he said and just think look at this relationship and its downfalls and mistakes and learn from them so when u find someone new u can be happy because you wil know what to look for in a person it sounds like his loss and besides u want to be with someone who loves u in return and he is out there somewhere trust me it took 24 boyfriends and a failed marriage for me to find the man i was meant to be with . be bitter towards the person who did this to you and give the next guy a chance. if i was bitter about any of my past relationships i would be bitter and alone so just cheer up and it will take time but u can make it without him he doesnt deserve you if he isnt sure if he loves u or not. and here is a quote that might help you dont cry because it is over but smiled because it happened. best of wishes to you and dont let a man get u down. pick yourself up and move on.
2006-11-07 15:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by nuzzihuzzi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will get over it. I was married for 8 years and found out my wife cheated.
I know right now seems like this is the most important person in the world but you will meet other people. They too will be important. Just how love goes. You love hard and if it ends it hurts, but time cures all. And remember not every guy is like your ex boyfriend. That should keep you from being a bitter black woman.
2006-11-07 15:06:34 · answer #3 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same spot you are. We've all been through what you are going through. I feel like I'll never love or trust again either. I'm trying not to be angry and fill my time up with things I like to do, but each morning I wake up mad. It's a terrible feeling to have. I hope one day it goes away and I can meet someone worthy of my time. I hope you will too. I guess we have to get over how hurt we are first. I think time is the only thing that will help.
2006-11-07 15:23:29 · answer #4 · answered by apriljm76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now that you are single just enjoy the company of males and take it from there.
You will find that all men are not the same. When he right guy shows up you will change your mind and love again.
It's all fresh at the moment and you are thinking this way because you are upset, in time you will put it aside and get on with your life.
You will even look back and wonder why you were so upset.
2006-11-07 15:07:43 · answer #5 · answered by sadgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, u have to take resposibility for part of this. My motto is: a jerk is a jerk! U must have seen some signs of him being a jerk in the past year! He was stringing you along, which is not a cool thing to do. You shouldn't want to be loved by sooo much that you become blind to reality....that he is a jerk!! Do you want a jerk? (of course not!) Or a real loving caring man(Yes!) There are still good ones out there, so hang on and never give up !! but let this loser go...no loss!!!
2006-11-07 15:07:54 · answer #6 · answered by wendy l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you have to take time out with yourself and let your heart heal before you enter another relationship. You can rush into another relationship or that is exactly what will happen. Try to take care of business and accomplish your current goals, channel the energy into to positive things.
You have to analyze what kind of person you are and find out what makes you happy. Once you are completely happy with yourself and accomplishing the goals you want then you can venture back into the dating world. If you don't work on your first and get yourself together you will only attract others that are not together.
2006-11-07 15:13:17 · answer #7 · answered by All About Business!!!!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all go through things like this. Let your past be just that.. the past. Don't put everyone into the ex b/f catagory. Relationships change over time, some for the better and some just dissolve. Have faith in yourself to make a good decision. There will be another one for you.
2006-11-07 15:05:31 · answer #8 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself time to grieve, don't jump into another relationship! Learn from this relationship, what signs might have been there in the beginning that you may not have seen? Learn to love yourself again and rebuild your self esteem by doing stuff that makes you feel good about yourself.
Did he lie to his parents a lot? Was he kind to everyone? That kind of stuff is good to look at for future reference. Trust is earned, not a given.
2006-11-07 15:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by Lashenova 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i m sorry to hear that but not all men are like that
take time for ur self
read books on relationships
and get more knowledge on this topic
ans when u r ready goo out and date
right now u need time to heal
2006-11-07 15:05:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋