She has lived with my brother or I since 2004 when my dad died. My brother moved really far away and she will be living with my husband and I from now on. She lays on her bed all day and watches tv. I know she feels like she is an imposition, she's not to me. My husband is a different matter. I take her out on my days off. I don't know what to do to make her feel better. I took her to the Dr. and he put her on an anti-depressant but it doesn't seem to help.
2006-11-07 06:53:55 · 10 answers · asked by Ha Ha Charade You Are................... 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I had the same prob with my Mom. When Dad passed away, she was lost. It took me a year to get her to even go outside.
You just have to spend a lot of time with her... talk her ear off and let her know she's not in the way. If she can, get her to help you with dinner, go for short walks, get her to talk about your father and family stuff, go to church.
The Dr. put my Mom on anti-d's too. And part of your Mom's problem is that they make her sleepy and lethargic. Same with my Mom.
Mom live for 7 years after Dad passed away. On her last day on this earth we were swapping jokes and talking about her Great-grandchildren. She passed away content and happy.
2006-11-07 09:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by Tim B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough one. Make her feel that she is necessary. First off, ask her to write a biography, something like five or ten pages, of her memories of earliest childhood, to when you came along, or anything else she feels like putting onto paper. Don't know if you have children of your own, but this is so valuable for later in their lives. Ask her input on recipes, menu, decor, her opinions on world events. If you have old family photos, ask her what they are and write the information on the back of the photos in pencil. Ask her to help select some photos for a family album. Arrange to have a professional family photo with her included. See if you can locate some of the music she likes. If she had hobbies, see if you can get her interested in those again (gardening, bridge, fashion?) Was she a church attender? If so, find a nearby church of her denomination and get her involved.
Make sure her finances are in order, but don't try and take them over, unless she so desires. Financial independence will make her feel less of a burden.
First step may be to ask her input for decorating the room she will be in.
As much as she will allow, arrange for her to attend activities at a senior center. Arrange for a day at the spa, manicure, pedicure, haircut, the whole works. You may want to go with her.
Understand that there may be some interpersonal tensions in this new living situation, and to give others the dignity and honor of giving them some space and time when everyone is testy is probably the best. Just remember not to harbor resentment or to "keep score" in interpersonal relationships.
Also, make time for you and your husband to be together, maybe weekends away once in a while, so she does not feel burdonsome in that way.
Try to, in some small way, thank her every day for being your mom. You won't regret this, and you will be happy with yourself for this decision.
2006-11-07 07:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by finaldx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one it is hard to deal with a death of a loved one so she has to manage the lost at 80 yrs old it hard to put all things in order. You just have to make your husband understand that this is your mom and she will always be loved by you and if he loves you he will make your mom feel comfortable there with you. Give her a chore around the house that she loved to do in her home. Pray for her sanity take her off the medication because in the long run it will make her worse mentally. Continue to love your mom tell her this everyday and watch the change in her.
2006-11-07 07:12:18 · answer #3 · answered by La Thelma B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I worked in a retirement home for a year and found many old women who were depressed because they want their life back the way it was. I believed the only way you can cheer them up is if you talk about the life that they had and let them know to be grateful for what they had in the past. Let your mother be around family that she loves and know that she is still very important to you.
2006-11-07 06:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by Destinee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At that age, there is nothing much that you can do. Have her put on some really good happy pills and make her go out. I work with the elderly all day, and that is about the best you can do.
2006-11-07 07:20:07 · answer #5 · answered by FruitLoop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very own opinion....you do no longer say what your earnings is, regardless of the shown fact that it appears that evidently such as you're in too deep to ever bail your self out..confer with a financial ruin lawyer and get advice. in case you pass financial ruin 7, do it and get it over with and get a clean initiate. you are able to't cope with a credit card, to get a stability that top is irresponsible.
2016-12-28 15:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww. thats sad. i bet she just misses her husband and like you said, she probably feels like she is causing your family trouble by having to take care of her. good for you!! a lot of people would have just stuck her in a nursing home. get her interested in a hobby of some kind maybe.
2006-11-07 06:57:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her to the Casino...that always wooks.....my grandmother well be really really sick with a cough but just taking her to the casino what do you know she aint sick no more....try it it might work....but if she aint a casino person then i dont know.....sorry.....good luck
2006-11-07 06:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by Sweet Momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is so sad she maybe needs to go to counseling
2006-11-07 07:09:35 · answer #9 · answered by It's MEEEE!!!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to accept jesus to repent from your sins and be saved. life without god is meaningless.
2006-11-07 07:00:14 · answer #10 · answered by Dan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋