is my boyfrined scared of loosing me or somethink cos he never seems to get angry with me or even get into an argument wiv him .For the 9 onths i have known him n been going out with him we have never argued . I wish we would in a wierd way cos i feel he is scared of loosing me and i would love a good argument !!
Also if i ask him to do anythink for me he will do it like lend me money or make me a cuppa tea...it makes me laf now thinking about it but i really do depend on him abit, so ami using him..?
ANY ANSWERS KINDLEY ACCEPTED
2006-11-07 06:50:39 · 28 answers · asked by JoJo40 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you love him, then you're not using him. If you juist have him around because he's caring and generous then you are. I don't think he's so afriad of losing you as he is a sweet natured man who loves you and appreciate you enough to treat you like a queen. How lucky you are!!
2006-11-07 06:59:39 · answer #1 · answered by P. C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same relationship in high school. My bf would never wanna argue and even aplogized when it was my fault. Thing is, I started to purposely fight with him, simply for the entertainment of it. I was mean and horrible to a basically good guy. I ended up breaking his heart, subconsciously thinking he would 'always' be there. In the end, it all turned out because I found the real love of my life. the man who loves me and gives me what I want, yet has no qualms about putting his own 2 cents in! But I really hurt that other guy and Im pretty sorry for it now.
2006-11-07 06:55:46 · answer #2 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know he loves you and wants to keep you. I'm like that too.
You get some one women men who don't want to be bothered with lying and cheating and going off with other people.
Like me, it's probably important to him that whoever is with is happy and satisfied and maybe experience wise, he doesn't know how much a girl will take before she thinks about leaving or if he's waiting hand and foot so much that he's undermining his position. I've been told it get boring to not argue and to get everything you ask for no questions asked or to have someone willing to do absolutely anything.
He needs to know that there are two people in the relationship and he's allowed to say no and you won't run away. Maybe he's not 'soft' enough for someone else because they want a carpet and not a boyfriend but perhaps for you, he IS a bit too compliant. I argued a lot with my parents so I hate having to argue with anyone else I love. But it's fun sometimes isn't it?
That's when you get to find out what the other person really thinks! and how they'd handle a situation when you're off your head or if he's the one that goes off his head.
just tell him to relax and i think he'll appreciate it because it's good to wait on ppl and it's cool that you don't just take it and let him streatch himself without questioning it because maybe he heeds to have his turn as much as you have yours as well.
It's probably possible for him to enjoy your relationship a lot more than he is right now... ?
2006-11-07 07:02:46 · answer #3 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup. I think you are 'using him,' and you love wrapping him around your little finger - pulling his strings as if he were a puppet. Worse than that though, you are 'abusing him.' But I think you are on the verge of earning some respect for recognising it.
When most people get to talk together, to maybe get something off their chest, they first take a deep breath and (likely) say, 'To be honest,' and yet they rarely are, 'honest.'
'Honesty' also includes the truth about ones self, about things that are 'negatives' ...though, many fail to see these things within their selves (those little bad behaviours we are all capable of) ...and we plod on (defending our behaviour, thinking and attitudes) in being defensive.
It would be a good idea for the two of you if you could 'talk with him' about how you see your behaviour towards him ~ and tell him about how you feel, because, it seems clear that the 'friction' of an argument is something that you need (which is a good and useful insight into yourself).
I'd guess that 'he is afraid of losing you' if he gets into a conflict with you ....and you need to talk about this with him because it seem pretty clear that 'you rather like the guy' and you don't want to lose him either.
In spite of your behaviour, I think your a rather nice person really ~ and if pushed to admit it, you might like him to give him to give you the spanking you are doing your best to deserve!
Go for it, talk 'with' him, properly.
I wish you the Best of Luck.
Sash.l
2006-11-07 08:05:11 · answer #4 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think maybe he is afraid to be alone.
he cant agree with everything you suggest.
here is a possible arguement starter.
say you think your ready for a baby
go on about how you get to name the child and come up with a really weird name and say that you would expect him to change the nappies ect. as you carried it inside you for 9 months.
and say you only want a girl so if you had a boy you would put him up for adoption.
its load of rubbish but if that doesnt get him arguing with you nothing will.
i dumped a guy like this. he drove over 100miles to the coast just so i could have fish and chips.
he was way too soft
2006-11-07 06:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are using him. He has taught you through the course of your relationship that it is okay to ask him for things because he will gladly do it for you. Yes, he may be scared to loose you but that is a natural feeling when you are head over hills for someone. The fact that you never argued is a little wierd, seeing as how it sounds to good to be true. But be careful what you wish for. If you want him to be more honest with you in how he feels, simply let him know he has the freedom to oppose what you say or think or ask. Good luck with this... it sounds like you are one lucky gal!
2006-11-07 06:56:19 · answer #6 · answered by Mia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may be a bit weak willed if he never gives you grief but if he's nice without being sickly then he's probably fine.
It does sound like you're not so content with the stability tho which might be more of a cause for concern.
2006-11-07 07:09:52 · answer #7 · answered by charlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all about the chase-have u heard the expression treat 'em' mean keep 'em' keen, well as a bloke it is seriously true- the worse you trest him and the less affection you show him the more he will like you. dont feel sorry for him he's probably happy as a paedo in a playground.
if you are not attracted to him leave him- or test his resilience by cheating on him- or wind him up by flirting with his mates!
2006-11-07 06:57:54 · answer #8 · answered by Dr. chippy mcGee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am actually so jealous of you. my boyfriend is extremely stubborn and we get in arguments alll the time becasue he thinks he is ALWAYS right. He also would never make me tea or anything he would say do it yourself. but yet i still love him. i think your bf just loves you soo much and he is scared of losing you, which you should take as a compliment sense most boys act like they don't care either way.
2006-11-07 06:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by bob123456789 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don`t knock it me and my husband have only had 2 serious arguments since we have been together compared to the unlucky people who have arguments every day and end up getting hit because of it, so relax and enjoy your peaceful life it really is bliss, there is nothing wrong with my marriage no insecurity's and every thing is fine in the bedroom department to.
2006-11-07 09:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by shayney boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋