I was seeing this guy for about a week and we got along great. We got really close...had some pretty deep conversations. He kept telling me how I was what he'd been looking for for so long, etc. But, basically, he's got commitment issues and is afraid of getting too close to someone. So he pulled back. He says he wants to be really good friends, because he still needs me in his life, but doesn't want a relationship right now. It's breaking my heart because I care alot about him but don't feel like I can do much in the situation. So we're trying the friend thing. But he's still pulled back from me. I think he's afraid of what he felt for me. So I'm trying to give him space. How long should I wait? I'm going out of town tomorrow for about 5 days...should I just not say anything to him until I get back? What do guys really want in this situation? ANd don't say sex...that's not what this is about at all. Thanks.
2006-11-07 06:44:24 · 15 answers · asked by Squeegy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How long should I wait until trying to contact him again? He swears he still has to have me in his life because I mean so much to him already.
2006-11-07 06:48:22 · update #1
Reminds me of what I am going through right now!!! Except my situation got more complicated because we were dating for 7 months and are actually living together! (its been a month since he started the whole "i dont want a relationship right now" thing). Wait as long as your heart tells you to wait. Personally, I will wait until I lose hope. However, with the extra time I have invested, I am deeply in love with this man. It might not be a good idea to get more involved with him right now for you, because if he has commitment issues, you definately dont want to be falling in love with him!!
Good luck!
PS. I think that in this instance, you should wait for him to contact you.
-EA
2006-11-07 06:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by Earthy Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl go on your trip and not say nothing to him till you return.,wait for him to make the move, you seem like you are giving him space already but he still seems to be pulling away so i wouldnt even call him when you're back and let him call you.,let him realize what he reallys wants or misses in you and that means not hanging with him as a friend either because obviously he is still mixed with his feelings, he really needs alone time and you just continue living your life..if he reallys wants to work it out with you he will make the next step, good luck
2006-11-07 14:49:24 · answer #2 · answered by unsurelock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even as a friend, not all friend are aware of my every day life. This is his doing, not yours. Go on the trip and when you get back wait for him to call you. If he doesn't respond after you've returned. Check him off. And move on. Good Luck. Male writer.
2006-11-07 14:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by flying bug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, it's can be two things, he really likes you and he's scared, but thats a bit unlikely, but it could happen, the other thing is he isn't interested in you, I'm so sorry to say that, but it happens all the time, his actions are saying that he just wants to be friends, distance your self, let him come to his scenes, but don't get stuck on him too long, because he isn't returning anything your way, know what I mean?
2006-11-07 14:50:15 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you are just friends, that means you can date. Don't wait around for him. If he thinks you aren't going to be around, he may make a move to be with you. Of course, I'm not a big waiter. His feelings are understandable and his honesty is noble. But, ultimately you have to look out for you.
2006-11-07 14:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that since it's only been a week since you guys have been seeing each other and you have gotten so close....he's scared of what could happen next.....he wants to be close to you and maybe form a relationship but everything is just moving to fast for him.....but then again....he is a guy and even if you don't want to believe it....he maybe only after sex from you....when u get back from your trip...call him and be straightforward with him....ask him what does he want out of you....if it isn't what you are looking for then move on....
2006-11-07 14:50:48 · answer #6 · answered by MoneR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 or 2 more days then move on
2006-11-07 14:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by NOT IN USE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him before you leave. Life is too short. The last thing you want to do is be full of regret. Tell him honestly how you feel. Atleast this way you will hopefully know how you stand.
2006-11-07 14:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by nwoslane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want us to say sex, but in reality that's probably what it is. Guys have a tendency to want to create relationships where there are no ties. Relationship[s where they can spend time with more than one girl at a time and it be acceptable. He is probably trying to keep it light because he wants to play the field somewhat. He may not be trying to have sex with you right now, but he may in the future. His main objective is probably just to have a companion that he does not have to commit to.
2006-11-07 14:49:14 · answer #9 · answered by greenpitch 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can tell him you are going away for 5 days so he doesn't think you are desserting him. Tell him you can give him a call when you get back.
2006-11-07 14:48:27 · answer #10 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋