teen mums?single parents?

Question

do you think that if all the angry tax payers started getting angry at the ABSENT PARENT instead of assuming that everything is so bloody black+white all the time things would be better?why is it always assumed that when a teen or whoever,ends up raising children on there own it was a planned act?what about the fathers/mothers that just walk away,never work+therefore dont contribute....shouldn,t you be angry at them?for the parent left with child/ren its not always easy to find work or if you can find work,resources that will look after the child/ren whilst you do.god help any of you holyer than thow tax payers should you or your children ever need to claim benefits+for all the people that condem death on the teen mum please dont have children yourselves because one day you may find yourselves grandparents to the offspring of these tax sucking teens.there are far more apparent worthy causes screwing the system than single parents.

if teens dont understand contraception shouldnt we be angry at society??

for people with a similar opionion about the good old days,such as keith......look back+you will notice in the days before benefits there was a high ammount of shot gun weddings.teen mums have always been around....its only now that women are waiting till their 30s+40s to have babies+i wish benefits had always been around so that my parents etc hadnt groen up in the unnessesary poverty they did

40% of benefits are stopped if the fathers name is refused to be given

Answer 1

That is such a coincidence i was going to do exactly the same question but i was getting too worked up to write it!!

I absolutely 100% agree!! As a "teen mum" (well i was when i had my child 4 years ago) i get absolutely sick to death of getting such a hard time! Not all of us are as bad as the news and press make out! My kids are gorgeous happy children and often get complimented on how polite and well brought up they are, I've been with there dad 6 years and the only benefits we claim is tax credits and i know plenty of people much older than us that claim that!

How many middle aged people is there who accidentally conceive each year? Thousands i bet!! The difference is that no-one would dare to either ask or comment on it!! No-one is perfect look at all the "older" single parents there are in Britain today, so what if they waited a few more years to have children? They're obviously not in any better position then some younger mums (and that's not meant to offend as i have so much respect for single parents young or old) but who gets all the grief?? Young mums!!

We're not all Vicky Pollards!!!

Answer 2

I have always condemned the absent parent. However with so much choice in contraception, adoption, abortion there is no reason why any child should have a baby. Why do we have so many more teenage pregnancies today than we did in the 50's?
I've been on benefits when my husband was made redundant - I was on maternity leave. And I was grateful for the benefit system - it certainly saved our bacon.
I've worked as a cleaner, I've worked at Tesco, I've done all sorts of things to bring in money. Anything so as not to be a bigger drain on the State than need be.
The point you're missing is we know how hard being a parent is and it is unbelievable to me how girls can make this a career choice.
It's not the contraception or the sex education, I believe society has let children down. We owe children a good life and to see them throwing it away is very upsetting. Why are kids today so busy having sex when they should be getting on with their schooling? Adults get contraception wrong, I don't expect more from a kid than I do from an adult.
In the old days you married each other if you loved each other. Otherwise you put your baby up for adoption and hopefully a better life.
My ambition for each and every girl is that she achieve her full potential before she has a baby. Because babies have such heavy needs. They need love, sure, but they also need a decent place to stay (Not a high rise flat!) with a garden to play in. They need a mother who suddenly doesn't wake up one day and realise how dreary childcare can be. They need clothes (think how much you spend on your clothes and multiply it by two). They need a mother who is prepared to give up her social life for her baby. And every baby on this planet needs, and deserves, a loving caring father.
There are excellent teenage mothers out there - but I haven't met one who hasn't said she wished she'd waited until she was older.
Forget the taxes - concentrate on the baby's needs. That's much more important. And when you decide you're able to give that baby what it deserves, fall pregnant.
BTW I was a single parent when my husband walked out on me. I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

Answer 3

The absent farthers they were tracked down taken to court and if they hadn't paid maintenance they were sent to prison .Where ever they were they were arrested .even at there work place .that was about 25 /30 years ago .also banger up for under age sex .What about the Farthers mothers ?and the teens all these wrongs do not make a right .Remember you did ask this question Lots of people today me included do not believe that girls /boys don't know of birth control.Don't blame the tax payers for a done thing that is not there fault.Some mothers cannot tell you the name of the child's Father .don't blame the tax payer for grumbling about that .there are mothers with 4or 5 children with all different men.There will always be customers at a shop that gives free gifts away .There is more birth control today and more teen pregnancies Than ever .Are we not the highest in Europe of teenage mothers .is that a pointer to lack of knowledge of birth control .In this country more than any other I don't think so .You have to ask yourself one honest answer be honest .would we have so many single mothers if the benefits system helped as much as it did when I was a teenager if the answer is yes you are not honest that's why years ago there was very few I never knew any teenage mothers .And after all the comments about the tax payers. why is there such a rush to get preggers at teenage years.? And you know really that the tax payer have a valid piont ! From a Grandparent to you

Answer 4

I got pregnant when i was 17 n had the baby at 18 the dad has stuck around n would never leave even though is job isnt well paid some weeks n i dont work again yet we arent claiming benefits n cant get help with housing because there are some ppl who just have a kid to get a house or to get the money so ppl like me n my boyfriend who have worked since we were 15/16 dont get the help we are entitled to its the 11/12 yr olds who have a baby to get away from their parents n leave school n who are boredd n get drunk n have unprotected sex when their parents are away for the weekend that are the problem

Answer 5

Wow. Seems that you have had some problems. First let me say that I don't think that people get angry at the fact that single parents sometimes need some help from the government. It is more that they are angry at the fact that a teen was irresponsible and got pregnant in the first place. (a lot of people forget how many dumb things they did when they were teens)
Other than that, people get angry that there are some people who are happy with sitting on their butts and collecting money, many times having more children. I understand that sometimes people need help, and they should receive it. I'm a single mom myself and know how hard it is to support yourself and a child, especially when you have to worry about paying for daycare. Unless you have a high paying job you basically work just to pay for child care. I know here there are other programs that will help to pay for child care while the parent works or goes to school to get the skills needed for a decent paying job. But most don't seem to want to take advantage of those types of programs and would rather just stay home and collect a check. It's the free handouts that make people angry.
Edit:
In response to "If teens don't understand contraception shouldn't we be angry at society?"
No! It's not society's job to parent kids. That is the job of the parents. If someone is not old enough to understand where babies come from, why the hell are they even having sex?

Answer 6

As a tax payer why should i support anyone claiming benefits not just teen mums but lazy gits that are too busy sat on there bums all day . I think that the government should do more to track down absent fathers and get them to pay for there ofsprings cause if they are old enough to dip there wick they are old enough to pay for there actions. I know that some mothers don't give the dads name, address and i think that these mums unless they give this info to csa should have the benefits stopped because they are letting the dads get away with not paying .

Answer 7

Have you never heard of protection. There are people out there who are geniunely needy and have only £40 a week to live on from the Social. You should think yourself lucky that the state has provided for you and yes as soon as you are able to work, whether you are better off or not, go to work and start contributing. Not that many years ago you would have been living on the streets and your children in care. I don't think you have any rights to be moaning at the taxpayers who are contributing to your welfare.

Answer 8

I disagree unfortunately about the teen moms. When I was 17, I knew all too well what sex was and how it was done and how a baby was produced and I didn't learn it in high school, I learned it in 8th grade! I think people just like to have sex in general because it feels good to them and some think that a baby will give them the love and support they need so desparately. I'm now 22, and think that in general, teens aren't good moms. They even fought with me on this one forum! Can you believe that? Well anyway, a relationship is hard to take care of and adding a baby into it isn't going to solve ANYTHING! It would just add to your daily work load.

Answer 9

i totally agree,i was 15 when i fell pregnant to my now 11 year old daughter,her father stopped seeing her when she was 4mths old,his excuse was he felt to young for parenthood.what? he was 2yrs older than me,i had to cope,i had no choice.where was he? oh yes,thats right making baby no 2,then 3,then 4,then5,then6.and guess what? all from different mums.whereas i was the one getting the dirty looks,and nasty comments.he was classed as a "stud" i was classed as a "slag" why?. i met my next partner when my daughter was 18mths old,and we're still together 10yrs later,and she knows he isnt her real dad,he is brilliant.to all you cynics who i know are going to give this question and my answer a thumbs down,STOP,THINK! am i a bad person,who bought my child into this world and cherished her,went out to work in a residential home for a measly £78 per week for 21hrs work. or is he a bad person for walking away from his child,working 40hrs per week,for £200 + weeks wage,and never giving a penny to her,iwell, know the answer,but people on the street at the time didnt,they always assumed i was the bad one.

Answer 10

Its always about society...whats changed in the last decade that has made the uk have the highest figures in europe for under age sex (consenting teens) as well as teenage mums and single parents. I spoke to 2 teenage mums (15 & 17) both said they know the dads wont hang round, they know about contreception but 1 wanted a baby and planned it the other goes clubbing gets totally smashed every weekend and has regular 1 night stands...got pregnant. Stereotyping and media will always find this of interest.