My partner and I are separating after 6 years, and we have two young cats, each of them "owns" one of us, as cats do. I don't want to even think of leaving "my" cat behind, but is it fair to separate them? They spend more time together than they do with us, and they'd suddenly be alone much of the day in their new homes. Some friends tell me to put them on separation-anxiety-medication, but that sounds extreme. I guess this is a question for people with lots of cat experience, or vets.
2006-11-07 06:31:10 · 8 answers · asked by rainman420 1 in Pets ➔ Cats
For the cat's sake keep them together especially as you said, they spend more time together than with you both.
I would talk to my partner to determine which one of you would be able to give the cats the best environment and attention.
Anyway you do it, it will be an adjustment, but please don't separate them. They will be more sad being apart from each other than adjusting to the absence of the person they bonded to.
Don't put them on anxiety medication. They won't understand why they don't feel like themselves. You can't keep giving them medication forever and when it wears off they will still have to deal with the loss.
Good luck with this one and again, put your cat's welfare first.
2006-11-07 06:43:19 · answer #1 · answered by Hedicat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is great that you are so concerned for the boy's well being! The most important thing is to provide a loving and structured environment for him, especially is he isn't getting that support and structure at his mother's house. You are wise to deal with the issues that he is having now so that it doesn't become a bigger issue later. Be firm about his language and behavior towards yourself and others. When he is disrespectful he needs punishment and correction in whatever way works for your family (I suggest the time out system). But he also needs to be rewarded to good and positive behavior. Spending quality time together would be a great reward, especially for a child who has gone through the divorce process. Maybe you and your boyfriend take him to the park and play the sport he has been loosing interest in and try to encourage it to grow again, or get interest in a new sport since athletic activities are a great outlet for children. As far and the nightmares and bed wetting go be there for support and comfort for him after a nightmare and don't make a big deal of the bed wetting. You don't want to make him feel insecure about it more than he any child already would be. It sounds as if you are going in the right direction! Good Luck!
2016-03-19 05:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a toughie as their bonding patterns are to a particular human and to one another. Since you do recognise that they spend more time with one another than with their human you probably should leave them together. Cats don't adjust to change too well. I would hope your former partner would inform you if your special one seemed to be unhappy with the loss of you.
I just brought a 14 yr old cat into my home. He had lived as an only cat with one owner for all the years of his life. He has adapted wonderfully to five other cats and to me. I used flower essences on all the cats to make things go smoothly and I feel they were very effective. It has only been ten days.
So I think you should go to www.spiritessence.com and read about their use and testimonials there about their effectiveness (including mine). They cannot harm an animal in any way and I feel they should always be tried before resorting to drugs. They are also inexpensive and easy to use.
2006-11-07 06:48:27 · answer #3 · answered by old cat lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the animal, separation hurts some, but not all. I had dogs and when we divorced we each got one. It took a few weeks of getting used to being the "only child", but she managed quite well. Buy him/her lots of toys to keep her/him busy. Pets, as much as we love them, are not kids, they have feelings as we do, but they also adapt better.. Good luck.
2006-11-07 06:43:06 · answer #4 · answered by FireBug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experience is that they've bonded with each other and that they wouldn't benefit being separated. IMHO, they should be kept together.
2006-11-07 06:35:36 · answer #5 · answered by BVC_asst 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if they are twin siblings you should not separate them because they could get separtion aniaz sorry i couldn't spell that right.so if i were you i would not seprate them.but if you want to go right a head.
2006-11-07 06:38:04 · answer #6 · answered by C.L. H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
many cats are sepatated after being together for years they will have no problem adjusting, maybe you could have sleep overs
2006-11-07 06:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by daisymayNY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep them together and maybe whoever doesn't get to keep them can have visitation like once every week or so
2006-11-07 07:01:45 · answer #8 · answered by lalalalalalalalala23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have bounded , I dont think they should get seperated. They would start to miss each other and start to get very lonely with out each other.
2006-11-07 06:39:00 · answer #9 · answered by kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋