responses a bit contradictory.
2006-11-07 06:30:24 · 7 answers · asked by 13th Floor 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I mean why do people think it would be weird not to acknowlegde the loss of an arm, but should pretend they don't notice a 200 lb weight gain?
2006-11-07 06:41:07 · update #1
How could you ignore either one, however, just because you are aware of something doesn't mean you need to make a statement about it. God bless
2006-11-07 08:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
interesting observation. I totally see where you are coming from, but It is also what I would have expected. Asking about the loss of an arm seems necessary because that is generally not something that the person had control over and generally is not something to be embarrased about, but something to be concerned about. The weight gain (while it can be gladular) typically is something that the person can control and is embarassing and not to be mentioned, it is like when someone has a big pimple on their nose, everybody knows it is there there is no need to mention it. But then again in both examples (hypothetical or not) it is obvious you are not in regular contact with these people, because both examples involved rather large changes and the poeple that are around them daily will be the ones to worry about their health.
2006-11-07 14:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by ninja cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
People are people despite their shortcomings. Accept them for who they are.
So you didn't recognize your friend. Maybe her face changed along with her weight. I think you're being way too hard on yourself. You were just trying to be polite and tactful. No shame in that. She knows you noticed and she's probably grateful and indebted to you for not mentioning it. How many of her "other" friends didn't let it slip by? She's probably glad for the relief.
As for your amputee. Hey we all have things that happen to us. Some are accidental or tragic. It's ok that you didn't mention it. He's probably tired of reliving it every time someone asks. He misses his arm, I'm sure.
In both cases I can see your concern for the disparity in responses but, some of us just can't help being nice. You were non-judgemental, non-critical and that doesn't make you uncaring. In fact it makes you a caring, sensitive,tactful individual person worthy of praise. Would you have been able to live with yourself if you had been blatant and blunt in either case?
Give yourself a break.
2006-11-07 14:51:27 · answer #3 · answered by pjnickles 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that the reason you got different types of responses is because they were different situations. If a person is sick or sommething it's okay to ask them how they are and if they are ok. If someone has just gotten really big you don't want to upset them by bringing it up because it may be something they can't help.
I would much rather someone comment on me getting cancer or losing a limb or something than someone comment on how fat I've gotten. It's two different ball games.
2006-11-07 14:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by april_fay21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you got a variety of answers to both of your questions.
2006-11-07 14:33:21 · answer #5 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be polite about it and be understanding. It should work out ok.
2006-11-07 15:39:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really. It`s your decision as to whose advice you`ll take.
2006-11-07 14:36:10 · answer #7 · answered by Hamish 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋