What next?How \What do I do?Girls advice...serious answers only please...?A long one…HELP?

Question

I met my close female friend at the wkn and I told her how I felt. She told me that we would never be together and would only remain friends. When I asked her for her reasons--she could not give any concrete answers. Some excuses were:

1)We have very different views and would not be compatible-I told her that is what makes our friendship so good and that we spend so much time together that it doesn't matter.
2)Her view of a relationship is what we already do(apart from physical), so I asked would it be that wrong to add the physical aspect to it.She said NO, but that it wouldn't feel right-what does this mean?
3)She said we wouldn't work out as a couple but said she does not know why--has got a feeling,would not even give it a try.
4)Said I'm attractive,but its just ME as a whole that she does not see herself being with.What's this mean?

Is not scared of commitment/relationship/ruining the friendship if we went further+failed.

What should I do?Really no chance EVER?

1)She still gets jealous when I mention other girls I’m interested in.WHY?
2)She believes I'm dating someone but she did NOT ask me about her at any point--seeing that we're friends.WHY NOT?

Said she wants me in her life, but not in that way, can't imagine me not being in it/part of it.

Why does she continue to tell me every personal detail about herself-including sexual? Can we ever remain friends? Did she never love me?

I keep going out with my close female friend, we go to dinner, lunch together and for drinks in the evening. We also take roadtrips together to the coast and to the country for walks, usually followed by dinner and its just the 2 of us.This happens at least every 2 weeks, if not on a weekly basis. We’re attracted to each other, flirt with each other, we’re in touch practically everyday, can only open up too me,feels very comfortable with me, enjoys spending time with me,we trust each other etc

She doesn’t like it when I mention other girls that I’m interested in or ask her for advice concerning them.She always tells me that she never pulled when she went out,she’s not interested in anyone, don’t fancy anyone,etc

She now thinks that I started dating a girl and she practicaly ignored me, but has finally got back in touch after I txt her how much I miss her,thinking of her and we’ll always remain in touch-was this jealousy or just a coincidence? My behaviour has not changed towards her at all and I'm not actually dating anyone. Also when I joked she had a new boyfriend she shouted down the phone "what f**king boyfriend!there's no one, I wish I had one,f**king hell". Why'd she get so angry?

We kissed once(very passionate,all over each other)a few months back and she said we should remain friends.She said that I don’t do it for her(also kiss), but still finds me attractive and the thought of us being intimate doesn’t repulse her. So how can’t I do it for her?

What would she be feeling now? Would she feel hurt if I ignored her for awhile?

Answer 1

Give her some time. The more pressure you put on her to date you the more likely she is to stop talking to you. You obviously really like this girl, so you need to do what is best for her. If she says she doesn't want to date you at the moment, you need to respect that. The reason she got so angry with you is probably because she feels akward about the situation and is trying to back away from it. She may want a boyfriend, but she doesn't want it to be you. Lay off for a while, it may come later. If she can't see herself with you, you can't change her mind by asking her why, why, why?. You need to give her the freedom to do as she wishes and hopefully she'll realize that she has had a great guy right in front of her.

Treat her as a friend because that is what she is. Stop trying to force something. I'm sure you've heard the saying "you always want what you can't have"? If she gets jelous about you and other girls she needs to know that you are not going to wait around for her forever. Get out into the social scene. Even if you're not looking for someone else, the fact that your not sitting at home crying about her will get her attention. I know it sounds funny but playing hard to get really does work. She may just need to see you as an independent person and not a love-sick puppy dog.

Good luck, you sound like a really great guy. If you don't end up with her it just wasn't meant to be.

Answer 2

Please listen carefully- you are doing buddy things with her. Buddy things are not the same things you would do to 'woo' a girl. Possibly this one comes from a different culture where the prerequisites for wooing are more clearly spelt out, if not you will have to tread very softly round the subject while you find out what her idea of 'romancing' involves.

Allow six months before you ask her again about the physical, and in that time do slightly less buddy things -to create a vacuum- and the occasional wooing thing -to keep her on her toes and keep her guessing. Let her wonder where your relationship might lead... and flirt, which involves a certain amount of teasing and withdrawal. Be less predictable in when you are available.

wooing things might include a small (big is no good for this) token such as silver heart (not a locket) on a pretty chain, or a single, cut orchid (not a dozen roses!) Do not under any circumstances overwhelm her at this stage.

Answer 3

While it would have been helpful for you to specify your ages (since experiences, emotions and perceptions shift over time), I am inclined to give you only the following "good news/bad news" reply.

But first, I'd like to say I am sorry things do not appear to be going the way you had hoped. That's always a tough spot to be in, and we all understand the sinking feeling of our chosen 'other' not signing up for the relationship we'd banked on.

THE GOOD NEWS
There's every indication that her feelings are based on 'instinct' and 'gut reaction' and 'chemistry' (something we guys have a much harder time tuning into) ... and consequently are beyond your control. For this reason, I would encourage you not to take it personally nor continue investing yourself in finding a way to "work it out." I know this does not sound like 'good news' but it's my way of saying, "This is your chance to take a step back and reassess" and that can only save you time and further grief.

THE BAD NEWS
She will never change her mind. Whenever a woman has expressed the kind of "No" that you described, it's a lot like getting a flat tire on your car. No amount of hoping, prodding, pushing, pulling, etc. will fix the situation. In fact, if you were to continue trying to rationalize with her (using 'logic' to overcome 'sense'), you risk having the other tires go flat as well.

THE GREAT NEWS
By letting go now, you save not only your pride, but also allow yourself (and everyone involved) the courtesy of time alone to regather. The time and space afforded by backing away ("letting go") is really valuable and should be used to let your wounds heal. In a few days, things start to seem manageable again, and what appears crazy-crazy right now will be put into its proper perspective. They say, "If you love somebody, set them free." The absolute best gift you can give anyone stuck in doubt is the key to the door. There's nothing to be gained by trying to keep that door locked for your own sake ... and there's every hope that someone else will find the key and come knocking later on. Trust that when the time is right, and you've found a partner who feels/senses the relationship is right, you will BOTH know, and your door will be open.

Good luck, my friend!!

Answer 4

You wont be together not if thats not what she wants. Dont hang arround for her to decide if your good enough to be with other than "just friends" and she has no right to be jealous if you start dating another women. She doesnt want you yet gets the hump if you try and move on.......some friend!!!!She should want you to be happy and stop being like that. Sounds to me like she might not "fancy" you.However if she doesnt want a "relationship" then making it physical somehow changes a friendship.You don't have casual sex with a friend the two dont go well together....You need to listen to your friend and respect her wishes. You have to except the fact that its all its ever going to be....she needs to except the fact that you will meet someone eventually.

Answer 5

Sounds like shes confused. Ignore her for awhile date around if you are true friends things Will work out. Let her Chase you for a change If she gets jealous then maybe there is some hope of a relationship take a few steps back and be patient

Answer 6

now and back you fel alot for somebody as a chum yet don't experience bodily fascinated in that individual, which makes it confusing to get right into a relationship. It would not advise she would not love you and the jelousy must be all the way down to the certainty that she sees much less of you once you're in a relationship with somebody else. Be carefull! If she says she would not prefer to any extent further than friendship, you will push her away in case you shop on at her. do you prefer to lose her altogether? sturdy success. x

Answer 7

I feel u have laid it on the table for this girl and a bit of space might be good, she might realise how much u mean to her and what its like without u in her life. She has u, as u said without the physical side, so why should she bother taking things that one stage further. (has her cake and thouroughly enjoying it).
I think the best route is not to pressure her, she will obviously think about it and just give her time. good luck

Answer 8

I don't know if everyone else is right she may like you like that but somethings stopping her like she doesn't want you to see her naked b/c your friends and it may be ackward for her next time you hang out together don't push her to have a relationship with you but look/smell nice, act a little sexy but not like you tried hard and do something so sweat for her and if she doesn't start to come onto you than she's not worth the trouble and keep her as a friend

Answer 9

She doesnt fancy you, and instead of hurting your feelings by saying it out right, she is trying to think of excuses. Even one saying she does fancy you but doesnt want to be with you in that way is a way of letting you down gently. She obviously cares about you as a friend......but that is it! sorry mate, theres plenty more fish in the sea as they say.

Answer 10

Ok here's wat she really means

1) i would prefer someone who doesn't contradict me...am the queen and you just a mere peasant, what do you know anyways.

2) I honestly don't find you attractive. If we do it, i'll just act as if am dead. A little cash won't hurt.

3. You have no money, won't get anything when i leave you to be with someone who does.

4. Don't want to hurt you so i'll find another way to say you have no money.