My mother is not coming to my wedding.....?

Question

My wedding is a destination wedding and it is in Mexico. She had plenty of time to financially plan to come to the wedding but she has made EVERY excuse not to come. She and I have always had a very dysfunctional relationship. This is one of many attempts that I have made in order to bridge the gap with her. She continues to do things that I don't understand. Its a very puzzling/hurtful relationship. How do I explain to people that my mother isn't coming to the wedding without getting too emotionally sucked in?

My mother is not poor. She makes around 90k a year. She could have afforded her own ticket. I WILL NOT PAY FOR HER TO ATTEND! This should have been something that was important to her. She recently was hospitalized and I was the ONLY person that showed up to the hospital. My brother and his girlfriend didn't even stop by for 3 days. But I have to deal with this kind of crap!?!

Answer 1

You and I should def. talk because I'm on the very same boat! My wedding is next year in Padre (already say I'm married) and my mom is already making excuses. The best piece of advice that I can offer is "DON'T LET HER RUIN YOUR HAPPINESS!" It's pretty obvious that your mom hasn't been there to support you so why should you let her ruin your joy. Getting married is a truly joyous event and planning your wedding is just as exciting. Don't let your mother rain on your day. I would suggest being the bigger person and just keep your mom informed regarding the wedding, send her an invitation and if she still remains cold hearted then I would try not to worry about her. In her own time she will realize how selfish and silly she is acting. I don't know you or your situation personally but just realize that we can't change our parents but we can change our parenting skills. Be the mom you've always wanted! I wish nothing but the best of luck to you and your fiance! Congrats!

Answer 2

Sorry to hear that. You don't need to report to anyone the exact reasons as to why your mother isn't there. The people who are very close to you probably know in more detail the nature of your relationship with her, and will understand. And for those who are more distant you can just invent something about "other committments", "family emergency", "the circumstances beyond one's control" - just a generic response that is believable enough.

My mom and I have a very close relationship, but she couldn't be at my wedding. Well, she does live on the opposite side of the globe, but that was not the reason she could not attend. I imagine some people were puzzled, but I didn't feel like I had to offer a detailed explanation or issue a press release; a brief mention of "family circumstances" and changing the subject was a sufficient response, IMO.

Answer 3

Hi


If you just want to give a short reply then just state unfortunately she was not able to make it. You have to understand not every Mother/daughter relationship is going to work out the way you think it should. I would know my mother has done several thing in which I have no understanding why. The only thing you can do is realize you made the effort to try. When and If she wants the relationship to be better between you two is when you can continue making an effort. Hope I helped.

Answer 4

This is your wedding and don't let anyone ruin it. Even if it is your mother. Plan your wedding, do what you want and if she decides not to come then have it videotaped for her. Tell people she couldn't afford it. If you worry about it, you will stress yourself out. Don't let her fluster you. She will only be hurting herself. If you make a big deal about, she will keep bringing it up. Tell her that she made the choice not to even try and come. That you will miss her but that is her choice and you are going to get married the way you want to. Good Luck

Answer 5

first of all, i'm very sorry with regards to the complete issue. Your wedding ceremony is without doubt one among the main intense days of your existence and it somewhat is not something you are able to would desire to be coping with. it is particularly egocentric of your mom to attempt to control what you desire at your wedding ceremony. you're certainly precise for no longer desiring that "guy" at your wedding ceremony. Your mom needs to realize that if she does not take place at your wedding ceremony, it is something which you isn't waiting to forget and in some unspecified time interior the destiny interior the very close to destiny, she will remorseful approximately it. As stressful as i'm constructive this would be to do... attempt to concentration extra on the superb issues you will adventure on that day and not the undesirable issues which you're experiencing now. i'm constructive you've gotten a competent buddy or a sibling (in case you have one) or maybe your maid of honor or bridesmaid! quite of residing on the certainty that your mom heavily isn't there to stroll you down the aisle, think of approximately suggestions on a thank you to bond with somebody else that day and bear in techniques it constantly. additionally- this issue is only a a million way holiday! you would be strolling backpedal the aisle along with your new husband the 2d time :) with any success, your mom will come to her senses before your wedding ceremony and understand the extensive mistake she's making by potential of putting her pig of a boyfriend in front of her daughter. lower back, i'm SO sorry you are able to desire to handle this, as weddings are annoying even without subject concerns like this. If she does not parent it out, then you quite will nonetheless have a calming, particular and stunning day along with your new husband!

Answer 6

You just say she can't make it. If they press for more details, say "it's upsetting enough that she won't be there, so can we not talk about it? I want to focus on the people I love who WILL be there." and then change the subject.

Remember: you said you've always had a very dysfunctional relationship. Her not going to Mexico for your wedding isn't so surprising, is it?

Answer 7

You can't blame yourself for the decisions that your mother has made or not masde. This is a very special time for you and you need to focus on that and not on the fact that she is not coming. What are her reasons for not coming? I would not lie for her and just tell people if they ask that she chose not to come and that you do not know her reasons for it. Then let it go at that. Make her have to explain to people when they contact her as to her reasons. Don't get sucked into having to offer excuses for her. Tell people they will have to ask her.

Answer 8

Well just say that she was having problems financially and she could not make it... Or you could just try to raise some money to get your mom there. I think the real problem is your relationship... I think you should sit her down and just talk and tell her that if she can't come to one of the biggest events in your life then how are you suppose to know that she is always there for you? Have a talk and see how it goes...

Answer 9

Join the club. And don't bother explaining. If someone asks, just say she was unable to come. You don't *owe anyone* an explanation.

I know it hurts and it sucks, but you'll have to deal with it and rather than dwelling on it, focus on more positive things that make you happy and that you do have a say in. : )

Answer 10

You dont have to explain anything to anyone. Your mother may have given birth to you, but she doesnt seem like much of a mom. Accept this, and you can work on having a good life with your new husband.
If she creates too much drama in your life then it may be worth considering cutting her off.