I really don't know why I cant get over this. It's been about 3.5 months since my relationship ended. He was very cold and uncaring in the end. Yet... last night I was awake for hours feeling upset about it. There are days when I'm fine but then last night happens and I feel wounded all over again. It was my first real breakup (yes, even though I'm 30... I never let myself be vulnerable before). I really do NOT trust men right now -- nor their motives. I just feel like they use women (and I do NOT want to feel like that... I didn't before my ex). So, naturally, finding another guy won't happen right now. How can I erase this horrible guy from my brain (or something close to erasing?)? thanks ;-)
2006-11-07 05:18:13 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I can only say how to erase women, but nothing different.
Just really is how to say to yourself is nothing more what I can do about. What for I waist time. Change the thoughts to some unreal dreams about the new wonderful person. Be happy of freedom and be single. Have unlimited time only for yourself and get some crazy activity or any, just to see happy people or just people. Life didn't ended yet. I build super wall to protect myself to be not available to anybody or be involved with my heart, until I find somebody who can be good enough to match my dreams and expectation.
2006-11-07 05:32:24 · answer #1 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to recover from a break up is find something you are interested in or try a new hobby other than drugs and drinking you don't want to fall into that trap. Say take up gardening and research and find out everything there is to know about it and live it you will find there is a whole world out there of things to do and people that share the same things so look at this as a blessing, this person wasn't right for you, when you do something you really enjoy you will find tons of people liking the same things and that's what you want and you will find the next person you will feel even closer to the next man that comes into your life...Everything happens for a reason and they always come out for the better" You probably don't believe that right now but as soon as you let go of him you will....Good Luck
2006-11-07 05:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by Jimbo23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are funny, some people can turn their feelings on or off in a heartbeat and other people think "where did I go wrong". Getting over someone is easy if you have someone to help you get over the past person. Sure some guys are jerks, but that does not mean all of us are. So you ended up with the 1 in 4 that is a jerk and you feel that all guys are alike. If your 30, surely you have been involved with some great guys. Think back to the good ones and the good times you had. If you have never had that good guy, maybe it is you are looking in the wrong places.
2006-11-07 05:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by UT FAN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you lose somebody you love, you grieve. This is the case even when the person you've lost hasn't died, but has left. You invest time with a partner, and when you are rejected by that person, you will both grieve for the loss of them in your life, and probably believe it was down to your failings for them leaving.
Some of the best lessons in life I have learned, have been the ones that were really painful at the time. Give yourself time to grieve. And give yourself time to think about the failings on both sides in the relationship. In time you will probably realise you had a lucky escape.
Not all men are manipulative bastards. But we do think differently to you ladies. If it's any consolation, I'm still bewildered by most of things my wife does, and this is after ten years of marriage!
Best wishes.
2006-11-07 05:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you really need time to get over a relationship. This person meant something to you. And when it goes wrong, ya start analyzing what went wrong. Just stay strong and true to yourself and you will get over it/him. There is no reason for you to rush into another relationship! It will happen when it's time for it to happen. Be happy with your alone time.
2006-11-07 05:23:27 · answer #5 · answered by mich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not until you find the right one that will make you forget, or realize what a fool you were for being with him in the first place,@ at 30 your very lucky this is the first....
2006-11-07 05:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Journalling helped me work through things. I know some people like to do it on the computer, but I liked writing on paper. (And, depending, I'd burn them later - it made me feel better.)
It is okay to feel lousy sometimes. When lousy things happen, we feel it.
Give yourself time to work through all your emotions. I was once told you should give yourself a month for each year you were involved - but there is no real guideline. You need to give yourself time and permission to feel ALL your feelings - loss, anger, fear, etc - and you will heal.
Best of luck.
2006-11-07 05:24:16 · answer #7 · answered by tigglys 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good friend talk to them. If not talk to your sister or a counselor. You need to find things to keep your mind occupied. I went through my share of losers until I found the right man.
2006-11-07 05:23:47 · answer #8 · answered by red1967 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey. 5 months ago i broke up with my ex of 4 yrs. it was really hard for me to move on, but i kept myself busy and i still get nights when i want to phone him, but i just stay strong. i know if i phone him again i'll never move on. time heals everything. good luck and stay strong.
2006-11-07 05:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by Stella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex in the City.
That's all you need to get over him.
Watch every episode and you'll be over him in no time
P.S. That show also states that it takes half as long as the relationship lasted to get over him.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-11-07 05:21:38 · answer #10 · answered by batgirlmeg 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋