My kids are semi-noisy (please read details)?

Question

I live on a 3rd floor apartment and, until recently, the apartment below me was empty. I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 16 month old who love to run, jump and play.

My boys aren't ridiculously noisy, but they do occasionally get a "while hare" up their butts and do their "dizzy run" as I call it. Otherwise the noise they make is average--walking, playing with trucks, (occasionally dropping one on the floor).

We recently had a downstairs neighbor move in, and this past Sat. night (moving day) she was hanging pictures at 9:00 p.m. My boys go to bed at 9:00 and get up about 7:00 a.m.). My husb. went down and nicely asked the lady to please stop hanging pictures on the wall as we're trying to put our kids to bed. She said, "Are you f'ing kidding me? Your kids were up and running around at 7:00 this morning and woke me up. I'll do what I want!

Any suggestions? I don't want to limit their physical activity--they NEED to run and play. I refuse to make them whisper and (cont.)

tip toe around like they're on eggshells all day. My husb. is a stay at home dad, and he can and does take them to the playground, but it's getting cold now and it's ridiculous to expect him to keep them out all day--esp. on cold/rainy days. When I get home from work, I like to chase them around/tickle them/roughhouse, etc. SHOULD I have to tiptoe around to avoid pissing this woman off, or do I have every right to play with my kids as I want? My husb. said she's an idiot--she COULD HAVE gotten a 3rd floor apt. just like we did (plenty empty in the complex). What would you do if you were in my situation?

I forgot--this woman has kids too. Hers are older (maybe 12 and 6, if I had to guess) so it's not like she doesn't know what it's like to have kids.

And it's not like they run around non-stop from sun up to sun down. They get up at 7:00 but my 2 1/2 year old turns the TV on and watches Sesame Street for 30 minutes or so until breakfast is ready. He pulls his own chair out (scrapes across the linoleum) and gets in himself. Occasionally he'll drop his sippy cup. THIS is what the woman complains about. My kids do NOT stomp and scream and yell first thing in the morning. LOL Actually, they don't ever stomp and scream--they just do regular toddler stuff.

Answer 1

You always ask great questions.

A few points:
* 9pm is a little late to be hanging pictures. If anything, if I were the one hanging pictures, I'd be coming up to ask you folks if it were ok to hang pictures.

* Boys will be boys. You shouldn't have to work on eggshells because of this. There will also be a level of noise.

* When you are on a lower floor apartment, you need to expect some noise. This person needs to be tolerant.

* Case in point, your husband needs to keep the noise within reason. They don't have to whisper, but probably shouldn't be playing dodgeball either (which it sounds like - they aren't)

Sounds like you and your husband are doing are the right things. It probably isn't easy for him being home all day as I'm sure keeping up the house and up with the children isn't easy. If he is the one home all day, he is probably going to need to be the one who needs to be comfortable with the situation.

Good luck.

Answer 2

First of all, thank goodness you have healthy kids!

Next - it doesn't matter that the new neighbor didn't choose an apartment on the same floor as you live on. Choosing an aprtment was her personal right, and questioning that has no bearing in any of this. That being said, it's unfortunate that you/your husband and she have started off on the wrong foot.

Your first mistake was asking her to stop hanging pictures at 9 PM. The woman has just moved in! Hanging pictures in her new home is not something she is going to be doing every single night, in fact, once the pictures are hung, that would likely be the last time she'd be hanging them, at least for quite some time. I think it was a bit intolerant of you to "confront" her on this "issue", and may likely have opened up the door for her to be less than sympathetic to your situation.

Next, if indeed your kids are running around, making noise (albeit normal kid noise) at 7 AM, and it is disturbing the downstairs tenant, then it is your responsibility to limit the amount of noise that she can hear. She may work nights and needs to sleep during the day, for all you know. If she were to complain to the landlord (or whoever is in charge there) about YOUR noise, you would likely receive some sort of warning letter. To avoid any further nastiness, I suggest that you put down thick area rugs (I'm assuming you don't already have them), to help deaden the noise. I also suggest that you go and knock on the downstairs neighbor's door, and nicely explain to her that you didn't realize that the kid's noise was so disturbing (tell her that no one else ever complained), and that you have taken steps to help the situation. Ask her to let you in while you have your husband upstairs have the kids run around like they would normally do, so that you can hear it with your own ears. This may help you figure out what sections of your apartment need to be "sound-proofed".

Since I am assuming that moving is not an option - and the new neighbor is already in place - you can expect to be "neighbors" for some time to come. The only way to avoid this - and any other issues - from escalating into something ugly is to approach her and explain that you are willing to work things out to everybody's satisfaction. Your kids are kids, and will be making normal kid noise, and there is no way around that. As others have suggested, weather permitting, the best thing for ANY kid is to be able to blow off steam outdoors, so, if your husband isn't already doing that, he should be (whenever and wherever possible).

Neighbors are like any other relationship, in that it is in everyone's best interest to keep the lines of communication open. Bring her some cookies and try to start fresh.

Answer 3

I have been in this situation. My then 2.5 year old used to warn anyone who came over not to jump because "It will make the neighbors crazy!". She tried to be good but she was only 2!

Honestly, I believe it is the landlord's responsibility to warn new tenants who may move in under a young family. The new tenant would then have the option to choose to live elsewhere. I think landlords should cautious about placing their tenants. Unfortunately, most landlords don't care about anything but the rent money and filling a vacancy.

This is the risk of living downstairs from anyone. Your kids are not misbehaving, they are just being kids. It is ridiculous to try to get your kids to act like little adults. If your neighbor is that bothered, she needs to live up stairs.

Your landlord can't fault you for living upstairs with a family and shouldn't take any complaints against you seriously. I do believe that you could complain to the landlord for a neighbor making a lot of racket late at night if it becomes a regular occurrence.

The other thing that helped was to run a box fan in the bedroom when the kids were sleeping. It really helped to drown out noisy neighbors.

Answer 4

Keep playing and having fun. Don't worry about it. Maybe if you keep them a little quieter in the morning the lady downstairs will be quieter at night. I went through the same thing a few years back. Talk to the apartment manager and see when quiet hours are if you don't already know. If quiet hours are between 9pm and 7am then you have NO worries it's the nieghbor that is the problem. That is what happened with me the quiet hours were between 10pm and 7am, so there was nothing my neighbor could do, except at night she would pound on the ceiling until it was technically quiet time. What a ****, and it sounds like you have one too. Good Luck and have fun playing!!!

Answer 5

I live on the second floor of an apt complex, and think that 9 pm is kind of late for hanging pictures...I just moved in here myself, and I try to stop moving anything heavy, or any loud noise for that matter, by 9. We have quiet hours, for 9 pm to 9am there isn't supposed ot be a lot of noise, but no one here seems to get it. The people above me run, scream, yell, and throw things until at least 11, and with me having a 2yo and a 5 week old it drives me nuts. I would concider 7 a litle early for a lot of noise...my little ones are kept up half the night though, so they need that rest, but I honestly think that your babies waking her up once is no reason for her to try to drive you nuts by keeping them awake. I would suggest trying to talk to her and work something out, but she may not be the type to care, could you get your boys to play quietly in the mornings? maybe if she sees you making an effort, she will wuiet down at night. If all else fails go to the manager...I would easily give up a second floor apt for a third floor one, even with the added stairs! Best of luck

Answer 6

Unfortunately, it sounds like a normal day in the life of living in a flat. I used to live in a flat and be in constant arguments with my upstairs neighbor, the lady upstairs use to come home at 3am in the morning and walk round in heals for an hour b4 going to bed, I used to be up for a 6am feed for my daughter and I would do the hoovering, and bang around to get them back. The thing is when does is stop, when and where do you draw the line. these days things get out of control. Is it really worth it. I even approached the neighbors, holding my 2 month old daughter and the neighbors showed no sign of negotiation or remorse. I ended up moving purely because I started to suffer from stress and was getting depressed. I do believe that people today young or old its very hard to find someone who is considerate. look at all the single people, old people and people who are inconsiderate that park in mother and baby spaces when you go to the supermarket( NOW that's a whole new question.....!) My final note is you can't control your children's noise and you can't tip toe about, downstairs has showed no consideration to you and your family so try to live your lives and ignore it, I use to find turning the telly up drowned out any noises from the other flats and didn't wake my daughter up.
Good luck xx

Answer 7

I'm with the first answerer to an extent. She didn't need to be rude when your husband asked her to quiet down for your kids, but now that you know that having them run around at 7am is waking up neighbors, it's time to take them outside for that morning romp.

I lived in lower floor apartment once and a woman with a child moved in. I swear, that kid sounded like an elephant. I thought he was some big old 8 year old stomping around. Then when I saw him, he was just learning to run...a little tiny guy! I was amazed such a little boy could sound so large.

Also, once I was on the top floor of an apt. and my new downstairs neighbor came up and asked me annoyedly "Do you have big dogs or something? They were running around all night! and kept me up!"

She was pretty embarassed when she saw my two kitties. She said she swore I had a couple of laboradors.

So don't doubt that your little ones could really sound loud to her.
Again, she was a jerk to respond to your husband that way, but still. Take the high road and try to work it out with her.

Answer 8

i live on the second floor of a 3 story apartment so i know what you are talking about (i have a 6 yearold and 16 month old) all i can say is after her after she has settled in she will probably get quiter and you all have to remember you live in a n apartment and live and let live no you shouldnt have to make your children tip toe around all day let them play ... if they are being really loud just calm them down as you usually would..... the noise during the day is just something that has to be lived with in most apartment building if there is an abnormal amount of noise after (10 in most states i know) you can call the cops for "noise pollution" or discuss the problem with the management.....

Answer 9

I have been in this situation. I have 4 boys, and I completely understand your life! lol

I would go out of your way to be nice to the lady below you. Bake her cookies and take them to her with an apology attached. Explain your situation to her. Let her know that you and your husband will do your very best to respect her, but you unfortunelty cannot control everything your children drop or scoot acrossed the floor. Leave your phone number and tell her to feel free to call you if the noise is ever unbearable for her to live with. KILL HER WITH KINDNESS!!!! Force her to like you!

If this doesn't work and she continues to be a bit*h, then report her to the management. She is entitled to move to the third floor if she can't stand the noise, but she isn't entitled to make your living situation uncomfortable.

Good luck!

Answer 10

Try to limit their physical activity at 7 am. Don't let them run around and stuff until about nine.

You could also see if there is a first floor apartment available.

It sounds like this lady has some issues because she wasn't able to handle her problem with your kids noise in a mature way.