Who knows desperation?

Question

I am still white knuckling my way through this onset of depression and the meds (SSRIs) won't kick in for another 2 weeks. I don't know if I can make it as I have overwhelming waves of grief and hopelessness. I see the psychologist this week. I am trying to act normal (the fake it til you make it routine), and although my concentration is poor I try to read and listen to the tapes on relaxation,etc. It is winter where I live and cold!! I see no reason to hang on yet I keep waking up every morning by sheer will power, but it is running out quickly.
Who is out there that understands my situation and may have something to offer in the way of encouragement or a personal story? I am in dire straits. I have lost everything and the pain I feel is so overwhelming that I fear I can't manage it nor live through it until a brighter day comes.

Answer 1

I hear you. Waiting for the meds to kick in and dealing with the side effects are such a pain.

Make sure you are eating- something with B vitamins like toast or cereal and milk.It helps keep you from digging that hole you are in any deeper.

Let your doctor know just what you wrote here.If he/she doesn't listen to you,get a new doctor.
Best of luck

Depression is a serious disease.It requires serious care.

Answer 2

First of all don't fake your unhappiness to your psychologist. If you do that, then they won't know how to help you and you will continue to live in your desperation. I am too, in your situation, although maybe not quite as bad. I am separated from the man that I love and I am raising his four children alone. Kids do make you get up each day and have a reason to life, but there are so many days that I just don't feel like making them breakfast and then lunch and dinner. It's not their problem, it's mine. I need to think more positively, I need remember that things always get better in time. I know that you have probably heard that a million times, but it is true. Trust someone who knows firsthand, that's me. It does help if you have someone to confide in. I write lots of letters to my ex, sometimes I mail them, sometimes I don't. But, it always helps to get what ever I feeling off of my chest. If you believe in God, then prayer can do wonders also. Just remember that He gave you life for a purpose, and although that purpose may not be known to you right now, He will reveal it when the time is right. So, just keep doing what your doing. Try to find something that you enjoy doing also, maybe catch a comedy at the theater or visit an old friend. Talk to that psychologist and keep your head up. Things will get better, they always do. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Hey, you will make it. Don't give up. I have depression too. I know exactly how you are feeling. There are some days when I just want to bury my head under the covers and never wake up and face the day. But I do. If your meds don't kick in soon, I would tell the psychologist that they're not working. Maybe he/she could put you on something a bit stronger for the time being. Also, you can always call a hotline, anytime. They are there to listen to you and encourage you.
Do you have family living with you? Are you married? Have children? Try to remember that they love you and need you! Some things that help me when I'm really down like that are to 1) realize that it's just a feeling--it will go away sooner or later and it doesn't change the fact that God is still God and He is in control of my life...2) write down your feelings on paper--somehow it just helps to itemize the things that are getting you down and depressing you, and makes it not seem so desperate....3) read your Bible, if you do that...it is believed that King David suffered from depression as well--if you read some of the psalms he wrote, you can tell. He cried out to God with the same kind of desperation that you have right now. He too felt hopeless and grieved. He reached out to God for help, and God came to his side and was there with him. Try reading Psalm 139....4) Pray. Tell God exactly how you're feeling (He knows anyway), and ask Him for peace and comfort. Ask Him to help you see the good things that are in your life. I will be praying the same for you. Ask Him to show you something you can do to help others, that will get your mind off of your depression...5) Get out of the house. Find somewhere to volunteer; there are many people who lack food, shelter, and warm clothing for winter, and they would appreciate your help. Or find a part-time job. Make a list of things you are good at, and look for ways to use those skills. Like, if you are good with children, consider keeping children in your home for parents who work but don't want to put their kids in a regular daycare center. Or if you sing or play the piano well; maybe you could give voice or piano lessons. Other ideas: Go to the nursing home and visit the elderly people there. Bring them goodie baskets. Write notes to other people you know who may be depressed or sick. Go visit ppl in the hospital.
Anyway I hope all this has helped a little....I'm sorry that you're going thru this and I know it's not fun at all, but hang in there b/c you will get thru it. Feel free to email me if you want to talk more! God bless.

Answer 4

I know what you feel like: My whole world collasped some years ago and I became a depressed zombie.

My story in brief: Husband took off with another woman, left me and three young children with all the payments.
I tried but the house was forclosed on and we ended up in a dumpy motel in one of the worst areas of town.
The trust and love I had for my husband was crushed..I was crushed and I was petrified.

All my family was in Ontario, not a single relative in this Province (BC)..

I pined, cried,and hurt constantly. Didn't know if I was coming or going.

My father had passed away, but he had always been my source of encouragement, so I kept thinking, what would he tell me to do.

He would say, "you have a choice" You can chose to be sad and depressed or put it behind you and live your life and make changes.

He would also say: Pull up your socks..which meant "smarten up"

One other thing he said that I didn't understand until I was in my own mental mess: He would hold up his hand and say, I can cut of my finger and it will hurt me, but "I will live without it"

I went back to college as a mature student and at first nothing sank in and I felt really out of place, but after a couple of months, my brain started to "kick in" and I was learning and my pain began to subside. As time went by, I found that I had a whole new prospective toward the way I looked at life and have been well ever since.

If you can't go to college, then try to find something, night classes, whatever...that causes you to concentrate on learning something new. It works, but it's hard to get out the door at first, but it gets easier and easier..

Time doesn't always heal, I still hurt at times, but I will not allow myself to become depressed again as it the most horrible feeling in the world.

Please take care and don't give up, you will overcome this.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

i've dealt with severe depression since i was about 17 and words can't even begin to describe the pain and desperation that someone can feel when they're in this state of mind. EVERYTHING seems hopeless, pointless, even you're own life seems worthless. everythings negative and you feel like you are too far gone for anyone to even begin to pick up the pieces. i've been on this ride for years now, been put on medication for it too...in the past i have cried at the thought of having to live another day. BUT, there are things that even though i don't FEEL like doing, i have to do them to help myself get out of the depression-alot of times i really have to set forth a time for extra sleep because i have alot of trouble sleeping during an episode. i also write out my feelings or talk to a friend about my situation...preferably someone who truly understands the concept of what i'm going through...those are the people who seem to be able to help me the most and also are the ones i feel the easiest talking to.....alot of times when i feel this way, i feel like a burden to everyone and i often feel alone and desire to isolate myself from the world, BUT that is the wrong thing to do...i have to force myself to go out with friends or go shopping or exercise or set some small goal for myself that i can accomplish...just keep pushing and thriving even when you don't feel like it....i'm glad that you've set up an appt with the psychologist and keep taking your medication as prescribed...things WILL get better.....know that this is not your fault.....good luck to you**

Answer 7

Hi there, I know how you feel unfortunately. If you feel that bad get back in touch with your Doctor. Maybe he/she will give you a higher dose of meds.. You must tell them how "badly you feel." They won't know unless "you tell them." Hang in there buddy, it does get better. Just hang in there and tell them how awful you feel. They will make you feel better. I promise you. They did for me and I was as down as down could get and felt like I weighed 1000 pounds at the same time. It is so unbelievable the depth of depression that one can fall into. I know. God do I know! But, it will get and is going to get much better for you and soon. Believe this ok my friend. Just let the Doctors know. Here's to happier days!