Any opinions welcome please just dont be mean?

Question

Do you think that 21 is too young to have a baby? I turn 21 this month. Me and my fiance have decided to try and conceive. We are financially stable, I have always wanted kids, and I raised my niece and nephew when I was still in high school so I know the full time reponsibility of raising a baby. My mom is mad at me though and said that I am too young. I dont want to have a baby when I am older I want to be young enough to enjoy all of life with my baby. What do you think? Thanks.

Answer 1

21 is a great age to start a family, any younger and i would say 'no'. you should get marreid first so that the stigma of a bastard does not follow the child for life. Play Mostart when the fetus is 3 months, and every day until 3 years old to stimulate the brain. Be at ease with the child and let them know that they can come to u with 'any' problem, then they will trust you not to scream when they have problems and they try to solve them on thier own and screw up.... Once a career starts you'll have littel time, so have the child now, then make some money to pay for things they will need without spoiling them. DO NOT pick it up every time it cries or you can create a spoiled brat with instatn self-gratification problems and they're in prison before u know it. Kiss in front of the child to let them know that you are loved by your spouce and that they are loved by you. Hug the child every day, this is more important than almost anything else! And always have more than one child so that they learn to share and be compassionate. Only children are brats :-). Loved them much, tell them the real names of their body as soon as they ask, do not pass on any hatreds or dislikes, do not make them eat all on thier plate as it stretches the stomach and they become fat, and give them the support that they will need throughout life to be a better humanbeing.

Answer 2

You're an adult, so you can do what you want. Personally....looking back (I'm 29 now), there is NO way I could have properly raised a baby when I was 21. I had a lot more living to do then. I'm so glad I waited because I had great experiences in my early 20's that I would have never had if I had a baby then. Now that I'm almost 30, I am 100% confident that I will be able to raise a happy, healthy, respectful, loving child because I am mature enough to do it. Also, since I'm old enough and married, I didn't get any grief from my parents...on the contrary. They are the proudest grandparents on earth because they know how well I'm caring for my daughter.

Whatever you choose to do, I hope it's the right decision for you, your fiance and your eventual child. Best of luck.

Answer 3

I had my first baby at 20. Do I regret it? No. I feel like a young mom and I can relate and do things with my son (now 13) But I recently got remarried and (oops!) we have ourselves this amazing 1-1/2 yr old. It is SO different now. I think part of it is our other kids are older (ages 10-20) and we are just enjoying it so much more (we are 33 and 47) I cant say if it is because we already had kids or if it is our ages now. But they are two totally different experiences. If you are financially stable and in a great relationship, what is the rush? Do you think you will not be financially stable in another year or two? The world is still fresh and new to you. I would wait another year or two. Take some time to be selfish and have fun, because after you do this there is no more being selfish!!

Answer 4

Being able to carry a baby for nine months is the easy part of parenting. You say that you raised a niece and nephew. Did that entail being TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for these children? Physically, mentally and spiritually responsible?

Speaking from experience, I'd wait a few years. Circumstances change overnight sometimes putting families in very difficult situations. Unless you've won the lottery, a 21 year old doesn't have the monetary capabilities of handling a financial setback.

Does your fiance plan on being a part of the child's life FOREVER?

Think about the child you will bring into the world and stop thinking about what you want right now. The child deserves the best possible life you can give it.

Please think long and hard before you act. You could ruin more than one life.

Answer 5

I am 27 having my 4th, I was 21 when I gave birth to my first. You sound mature and stable, although since you mentioned fiance make sure it is for keeps. It is not a fun journey alone. I cannot imagine raising 1or 4 kids by myself. Not to mention it is hard on children. It sounds as though you are comitted to each other it is just a thought to be aware of. Every 21 yr. old has a different maturity level so it is wrong for people to put an age limit on it. I love being a mother, and despite many mistakes I believe I am a great Mom. I agree it is wonderful to be able to enjoy your children at a young age, and when they are grown you are still young. Too many people I know waited so long they cannot enjoy the High school or college years as we will be able to. It is also easier to be pregnant, the labor and delivery are easier at a younger age as well. You have more energy and recover quicker.

Answer 6

I don't think you are too young. You are stable and experienced with children. You know what you are getting into. In terms of your and the baby's health, you are at an ideal age to have children. If you are one of those people who've always wanted to be a mom and feel that parenting is the most important thing they will ever do, then go for it. If that is the way you feel, then parenting is what is going to fulfill you, and you will make a good mom.I think that it would be a good idea to wait until you are married, though, for a number of reasons. You need the stability of that commitment, because having a baby together is the ultimate commitment; you want that child to have two parents who will be there together for her. And to be practical, not romantic, you need the legal protections that marriage provides. I think your mom doesn't want you to have children yet because she wants you to have had enough experiences that you won't feel that you missed something, and have regrets. Be sure that there isn't anything that you want to do, like get more school, or travel, whatever, that you will be sorry you missed.

Answer 7

I think you have a very good understanding of what it is to be a parent and what it takes to be prepared. The only reason I would suggest you might wait is because you are young (it's just a fact) and it would be just as easy for you to have kids 3 years from now and you wouldn't be too old or missing out in any way. I'd wait a few years and take the time to travel the world a bit, go on vacations to Disney World WITHOUT the kids, go dancing at the clubs, etc. It's really important to do all of those things before having kids. You can always have kids now or at any point in the future but once you get pregnant your days of vacationing, dancing and enjoying your marriage exclusively with your spouse are over. I suspect that's why your mom is upset. You still have a lot of living to do and you're gonna miss out if you get pregnant now. Kids will always be ready to happen and you have no worries about your biological timeclock at this time.

Answer 8

I think when you are financially stable is a step in the right direction. Emotionally stable is the most important though. Too young your mom says, well, really it is your decision (fiance') as well. If I were you I would look into to parenting classes to, because you two could never be too prepared!! I had my first when I was 25 and even then I was overwhelmed with this little person. She is 5 now and I cannot think of a time when I was happier than when I look at how much of a blessing she is. Her sister too, who is 3.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 9

I don't think it is too young at all. As long as you believe you are financially and emotionally ready, then you should do what makes you happy. Talk to your mother. I think if you explain to her the reasons you want a child that she will understand. She is probably just a little worried about you, but deep down, she probably knows that you'll make a good mother.

One thing though, if you are engaged, and about to be married, I do suggest maybe waiting until after you are married for a while, not for religious reasons, but so that you have a chance to enjoy being a newlywed and spending lots of quality alone time with your new husband. Once you have a baby, alot of things will change. Enjoy being a couple for a while, enjoy your honeymoon, then settle in and have a little one!

Answer 10

you sound mature enough, I had a friend have a baby at 19 and she is now 27 and very happy. Although I do think you should just wait until you are actually married. Who wants to walk down the aisle pregnant or after you have a kid. Go get married have a blast on your honeymoon and then get pregnant. If you are young and healthy you will be pregnant in no time anyway so what is the big hurry, enjoy yourself while you are young or you may regret it.