your advice please on this guy?

Question

i split from my 6 year relationship with my fiance 8 months ago.we had our own place too.when i was with my ex, i was introduced to this guy. hes not a friend of my ex. anyway, we swapped numbers coz we had alot in common career wise. he said that he wished he could meet someone like me, but understood that i was in a relationship. despite this, he would always text me asking me to meet im for drinks. i declined as i was with my boyf. my boyf also told him to stop texting me but he didnt. anyway, since, i have split from my ex (not coz of this guy) he is still texting me to meet him for drinks. he has been chasing me for ages now. i have met him a couple of times and have stayed over is place (as i live in a different town to him). we have only kissed eachother. he always compliments me and always makes conversation with me.i always catch im looking at me too.he hasnt pressured me for sex but as asked me to give him oral. i have refused yet he is still contacting me.

is he really interested in me?is he just after one thing?why hasnt he asked me out properly?does the fact that hes been chasing me for ages and ages mean anything?hes told me that he likes me and thinks that im a nice girl.i asked him if he saw me as another knotch and he said i was being ridiculous and was talkng nonsense. should i believe im?

we only meet up on weekends if we are out in the same town together

we were fooling around kissing when he asked me to go "down there", he didnt just come out and say it in conversation!lol

Answer 1

wow if he wanted you just for sex he would have stopped a long time ago. I would investigate this guy closer...he might be the real thing.

Answer 2

What guy who is really interested in a girl asks her for a blowj*b before they are actually dating?

I honestly think he is only after the one thing, the fact that he is still texting you even after you have split from your fiance is a good thing as long as he is asking how you are and not changing the subject to sex all the time. Be very careful as well because he probably because feels you are vunerable and an "easy target".

To me he is kind of only "looking out for himself" because he asked you for a blowj*b before anything else...kissing is all well and good but at the end of the day it doesn't really mean anything unless you are in a relationship with the person.

Keep this guy as a friend, to me he isn't worth much more, at the end of the day you are only 8 months out of a 6 year relationship, you need time alone to get to know yourself again, if this guy really wanted anything good from you he wouldn't even be asking you for oral at such an early stage, he would be waiting until you are ready.

I know you have said he is not pressuring you but think about what he is asking you for, he is trying to "break you down" to see what you will do, if you give him oral sex the next time he will want much more and may not take no for an answer.

Answer 3

Look ma...I'm not all that old BUT I do live alone and have experienced some major heartbreaks kay?.....Have you ever heard the saying.." It is what it is?" That's real talk. Every man is different as we all know...and really....I've made guys chase me forever and a day just because I kinda think it's a little cute for a man to sweat a little. It adds excitement... and be honest it gives you a....confidence booster. But really...if you had 0% interest in this guy he wouldn't be able to text you in the first place lets' be real. Even if it was only curiousity on your part...or just being bored and wanted something to do....cuz beleive me I do it too.....there is SOMETHING your gaining. Now....evidently attraction is there....you wouldn't have chillaxed with him if there wasn't riggght?! So okay, you've declined giving him head...(it's okay to say it!) Good for you.....he might've got a cuss out for proposing the idea....so really be real with yourself and think....would you have a different outlook if he stepped to you...more respectful?! I mean, I personally don't know what's better....it all depends on what guy you get involved with. Because my ex or should I say still current boyfriend came to me very direct and yet he still kept some respect. I found it sexy and appealing and almost 3 yrs later we still keep things going. BUT... is it better to play nice guy just to get what he wants...or keep it G'...or should I say real and still show interest but in a very direct way? Why beat around the bush ya dig? Cut tha games...at least that's what I'd do not say....when he texts you next time for "drinks" take him on it....be sexy as hell when you do. Be more on the listening end to give him a chance to know you a little better. After going out to feel out the situation....if he still comes at you crooked...I'd tell him to get some gone...... (wink)

Answer 4

I think it is clear that the man does not respect boundaries. First it was texting when asked not to. Now he is asking for oral - and why the fixation with drinks? I would be very careful - he could be plotting to spike your drinks and then disrespect more boundaries. If you still want to get to know the guy then perhaps meeting him as part of a bigger group will give you the evidence to make a decision on.

Answer 5

This man is very selfish, inconsiderate, rude and is only out for his own pleasures. What kind of person would want to interfere or do things such as text you messages while you are with your boyfriend and then your boyfriend even tell him to stop and he still keeps it up? This man has no respect for you or for his self.
I guarantee you if you would talk to anyone who has had anything to do with this man they would tell you that he is NO GOOD!
This does not show good character in him.
How selfish is it of him to just ask you to please him with oral? Think about this.....could you have just asked him to go down and please you orally? That kind of activity is great but that comes later........You need to change your # and lose him real quick.

Answer 6

Sometimes players will play hard until dey get wha dey wan. u shld try n tell him to leave u alone n see how he reacts... If he does leave u alone den he is worth it... If he keeps on pestering u he wants only one thing....
Also, if u get involed wid him make sure its not on de rebound after a 6yr relationship it will take more den 8months to get over him regardless of wha u think...
I knw de top part sounds a bit naff - but it will make sense to u one of these days.......
Jus be carefull wha evr u decide to do..... GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

The oral thing... kinda weird. But the rest sounds kinda sweet. A little obsessive but sweet, give it a shot. If he seems into you and youre not totally turned off by him then whats the harm in it?

Answer 8

You've kissed him a few times and he asked for oral ?? Any man who asks for oral like that cant have good character. I think he started showing that when your ex asked him not to call and he continued to.

Answer 9

If you told him to stop contacting you and he still is its kinda considered harassment. Just tell him to lay off if u dont like him/wanna be with him. Don't mislead him by going out with him to have a few drinks/kissing him if u dont like him.

Answer 10

normally if a guy has been chasing u for ages its just there male pride not wanting to let them give up sorry to say this but if u let him catch u he probley wont want u n e more
gd luck hun
xx