I have left jobs before because of unwanted "attention" from the men I work with. I don't dress suggestivley. I work in a gym ( I wear yoga pants and tshirts or sweatshirts). He knows my family. I don't flirt with him or make it seen that anything could happen between us. What's the deal? What subconscious signals could I be sending to these men that make them think it's okay to come on to me?
2006-11-07 04:27:25 · 14 answers · asked by Cindy S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
One detail that I didn't add- there is no HR department- It is a small facility- my boss owns the joint
2006-11-07 04:32:22 · update #1
In todays world you don't have to do anything because some men are so into their self that they think any woman would drop anything to do what they want. You don't need to change anything about yourself, your stricken with that spiteful disease of being in shape and taking care of yourself and probably very attractive. And sad to say your stuck with some cromagnums around you that put you in a very weird situation. Even though he is your boss I would still keep your pride and let him know that somethings he does are uncomfortable to you not just because your married but in general. If he is a real man he will accept that and move on. Maybe you should have your husband stop in occasionally to pick you up for lunch or something to reiterate to this pin head that your happily married and he doesn't stand a chance lol
2006-11-07 04:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write down exactly what was said and when. I would talk to a lawyer about it - alot of good ones will give you a free 15 minute consultation. You'll probably end up sending your boss a letter in certified mail stating all the things that's happened and you can ask him to stop.
Why is all this documentation important? So that you can sue him for all he has if he fires you. You could take his gym away from him.
You don't have to put up with it. It's not your fault.
2006-11-07 13:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start with scheduling a meeting with your boss. Tell him directly and politely that you are flattered by his attention, but you do not want to have anything more than a business relationship with him. Inform him that if he doesn't quit with the sexual advances, you will be forced to report him to the authorities. In the mean time, document every unwanted interaction you have with this man -- the day, the time and what was said by both of you. If he continues his behavior, report him to his boss, the human resources director, and the police using your documentation as evidence of his unwanted sexual advances. You may have to hire a lawyer to get them to take you seriously, but sexual harrassment is sexual harrassment and it's illegal.
2006-11-07 12:33:15 · answer #3 · answered by kc_warpaint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop quitting jobs because of someone elses behavior. That will only have a negative impact on you. Ignore him any way you can. Let him know in no uncertain terms that you are not interested (nicely tho, cause he's your boss). Talk about your husband and children more (with fondness, of course). This will pass....he'll move on to someone else when he sees he is going nowhere with you.
2006-11-07 12:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by Scunnered! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try wearing layers, not wearing make-up, whatever.
but honestly, some guys are slime and you work in a GYM where the atmosphere itself is already more laid back than most places. RESPOND to their actions by telling them it is inappropriate and you don't want them to do it again. sometimes silence, or laughing it off is considered by them ACCEPTANCE of their behavior.
You also need to tell your HR department that this is going on, and they can step in on your behalf. This is called sexual harrassment and it is ILLEGAL.
2006-11-07 12:31:00 · answer #5 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to tell your boss that you deserve respect! and try to look for help maybe someone that can test that your boss is doing that and you can talk with someone high where you work, dont wait until it becomes in a sexual harassment
2006-11-07 12:31:06 · answer #6 · answered by CHICA24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its against the law go to your unemployment office they will assist you. make an example out of him and sue- find another job,or start your own bussiness they have loans for women to start a bussiness.[subconscious signals]never hearde of that either you are or aren't. if you aren't go after him legaly,don't be a victim.good luck
2006-11-07 12:49:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on what you are defining as flirting? Is it flirting that is making you uncomfortable? Is he crossing that line where flirting is turning into harrassment?
I flirt with my boss and he flirts with me but we all know that it's harmless and there is like no touching or disrespect. Just some good ole' healthy flirthing.
2006-11-07 12:35:26 · answer #8 · answered by tonaloha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Politly tell him that you are married and if that dont work find your companies policy on sexual harassment ,go through proper channels and file a grievance,and contact an attorney
2006-11-07 12:33:07 · answer #9 · answered by photog50 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt need to leave a job for such. But you DO need to make it perfectly clear to him, that you're happily married, and you're strongly offended by his advances. You have every right to let him know where you're coming from.
2006-11-07 12:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋