I'm only fifteen, but please listen to my story, befor you blast me for being to young
Here goes....I love her, now please dont say I'm crazy until my story is over..
Over the summer, I liked her. we seemed to talk all the time, and flirt like crazy. well she kinda backed off, and I kinda smothered her a little bit...so I gave it a while and asked her how she felt.....she said she didnt like me like that...but... a month later...she emailed me..and told me that she was really sad..cuz our friendship wastn wat it used to be ( we've been friends since age 7).. I told her it was just hard for me to get over her.....but I was working on it..and things got better, and we seem to be good friends again..but theres one problem..I love her....I just cant get over her.... I mean I want her to be happy, and if she is thats great..but, she's a huge flirt, ..and it just kills me to see her with these other guys all the time....
Additional Details
9 minutes ago
but a couple of things she has said confuse me. when she said she wants our friendship back....she was talking about me moving on and getting a gf......that if I get rejected ..the reason is probably stupid.....and she also said her reason was probably stupid... but the she goes and flirts with these other guys...and I just dont want her to be a **** or sumthing...that would kill me more than anything..I am afraid to get close to anyone else, becuz I'm afraid that this wiill happen again.....and plus..well idk..i love everything about her..her smile, the way she laughs....everything..I know this isnt just another crush..cuz i have had many of those....and this isnt one of those...is there anything i can do?? please help?
Additional Details
39 minutes ago
but way back 6 months ago, she told her friends she mite like me......and then she backed off ..so I know she has even the slightest feelings..and other times..I just kinda get that sense..she has thought about it..i just dont know what to do..I mean she is only 13..so I know her mind is goin crazy.but what should i do
Additional Details
42 minutes ago
I mean since weve been friends for so long...we see each other every week...... i mean..i know nothing is gonna happen in the next month..but am i crazy to hope for sumthin in the next year or so?? or however long??
2006-11-07 04:12:00 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow god the girl dosent know it but your her guy! omg i would kill for a guy like you!
2006-11-07 04:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
When you grow up with a girl....see her every day and are friends....most of the time she will only see you as a brother. Sounds like this is the case here.
When a guy gets to a certain age.....about where you are....we all of a sudden realize girls are for something other than teasing.
And if we have a girl that has been close all our life that is not our sister we begin to see her in a completely different light. We had no idea how great she was. This has happen to you.
This does not always happen for a girl. And at your age anything she tells you is subject to change the next month. She is discovering boys too. And you have to know there is no rule book.
I was where you are many years ago. This girl however moved out of town with her parents but that didn't stop me from seeing her that way. I really thought she was the girl of my dreams, even though just a few years before we were only friends.
I was shy but this was so strong I sent her a letter telling how I felt.
I never heard back. It was a good thing. Eventually I got over her and realized that it would never have worked because it would have been like dating my sister.
Be her friend like you always have but begin to look for other girls.
You will be amazed at how nice they are.
2006-11-07 12:33:41 · answer #2 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, lots of things to answer and respond to. It seems that she's said she doesn't want you at this moment as a bf but she wants you as a best friend to talk to and hang out with. What you can do is wait, but it will hurt. People in general want things they cannot have. If you happened to have a small inkling for another girl and tarted dating, maybe your friend would get jealous and act. I would not advise this because you are using that other girl but it's an option. The best relationships usually begin with friendship so that's a good thing. It's not crazy to wait for a year. But you have to realize there is a chance that nothing is ever possible. Try to support her as a friend right now. This way you ensure a relationship of some kind. Maybe she'll realize your marriage material as time goes by. She's being a friend by saying there is nothing wrong with you and if you get rejected, those girls are dumb. In a sense, it seems as if you are as protective as a brother wanting to make sure that she's happy. ultimately, if she is happy, aren't you happy as well?
Way I see it, there a few options.
Wait-This will hurt as you see her with other guys. Maybe she'll realize what's lacking in these relationships is what only you can provide (Trust and good communication).
Find another girl to make her jealous- You are using that other girl but the girl you like may want you because she can't have you. Plus she gets a taste of her own medicine.
Move on- Give up and find someone else. Things just won't work out. Give it some time and you will get over her.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
2006-11-07 12:24:40 · answer #3 · answered by joe19 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot force her to like you no matter what you do. Sometimes girls like to play the hard to get game and tease you but really don't want you anyway and keep playing that game to see if they can still have you. You should lay low and act like you are moving on and not let her know your real feelings for now. Watch her try to get you back again. She is immature and thinks that is the way to act.
Try to find someone else to hang out with even if you are not or never going to fall in love with them. Someone else just to pass the time. And when you find this new person don't tell her too much about the other girl. That will ruin you relationship. Girls don't want to hear about other girls even though they may say they do.
2006-11-07 12:24:26 · answer #4 · answered by Snuffy Smith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, honey, she just sees you as a friend. She will never love you as anything other than that. It's tough, but you just have to face it.
But the good news is that she does sincerely care about you and want you to be happy - as she would for any close friend. It is cold comfort, considering how much you love her, but still.
I would suggest backing off for a little while - it's too hard to be real friends with someone you love but can't have. Give yourself a little time to heal and adjust. Then, in a few months, you can try being friends again. Keep her in your life, and value the friendship she gives you, but don't put your life on hold waiting for the fairy tale. Maybe in a few years she'll turn around, maybe she won't. You'll only drive yourself crazy waiting. Go on with your life - someday you'll see that the love and respect of good friends is as precious as any romantic love.
2006-11-07 12:23:58 · answer #5 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, tell her about how you feel. Why don't you just tell her what you just told us. So what if you get rejected? You'll never know unless you try it out! How do you expect the first couple got together? Remember, if shes into you then you should ask her because she's most likely waiting on you to make a move. You need to cuz it sounds like in a few dayz, you wont have another chance...
If you already have then... if she wants you... she'll come after you.
2006-11-07 12:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should back off and give her time. She is only 13, very young! She is still boy crazy and still looking for Mr. Right. A guy that is too pushy actually just pushes a girl further away. If she see's you having a great relationship with another girl and she truly does like you it will eat her alive and you will be able to see it on her face. My advice is to just move on and let nature take it's course. Good luck and i hope your heart will mend soon. Heartache really sucks!!
2006-11-07 12:17:36 · answer #7 · answered by Just Me =P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, ok. I read all that and I usually wouldn't give advice like this but...in your situation I think it's right.
Two things about her. 1. She counts on you. She knows you will always be there and I think you really are important to her. 2, She's bordering on liking you but is scared to commit to that. (It's very scary to start to like a boy romantically when you're always been friends and I had SUCH a hard time with it).
What you need to do is to make her make a decision. To help push her towards "love" over "like" and the way to do that is to fear she might be losing you. You've heard of "play hard to get"? It's kind of like that. You need to make a move towards another girl. (Not to USE another girl, you know, but to make her think you are interested in someone.) And you can't do this by half-measures cause she'll just run back to her old position if you do. You've got to seriously "be interested" in someone for a few weeks. This will give her time to sort through her feelings for you and work out that she really does care for you on a more-than-friends level.
As humans, we always want "the thing we can't have." It's just our nature. When someone is always standing there with their arms open, we reject that. It's when we look and don't see them there that we realize how important they are.
Good luck
p.s. And I married the guy who was my good friend. He did this same thing to me and I realized....I loved him!
2006-11-07 12:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by Black Parade Billie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else your young and going to be in love alot of times before your 18 .Put your mind to moving on and you will see it get easier.If she really liked you that way she wouldn't be moving on.
2006-11-07 12:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by martha g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is real for you.But she isn't in the same place you are.I know its very difficult,but you need to focus on your goals in life.School although boring is very necessary to get a good job so you can have the money you need when it will be time to choose a girl and start a family.So,slap yourself when you start thinking about her,and focus on you!
2006-11-07 12:16:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She has already expressed she doesnt like you like that. Find someone who does like you like that. It would be easier to move on if you found someone who took up your time
2006-11-07 12:14:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋