I have just split with an older guy as we had a massive row, i am trying to move on but he is writeing letters to me saying he loves me and acting as if nothing happend, what shall i do? any ideas! He did hit me, and acts like it did not happen, he is 35, i am 19, my family went up the wall, but he is writing to me, as if we are going to live together, all lovey dovey, i do not need this, i am confused, as i did like him a lot.
2006-11-07 03:56:14 · 23 answers · asked by red devil 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he hit you......there is no second chance for him.........
2006-11-07 03:58:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont fall for it..if he did it once, he'll do it again...and the fact that he's acting like nothing happened indicates that he thinks he didnt do anything wrong by hitting you, and thats not acceptable at all. I dont care what reason he has, its NEVER okay to hit a woman. I think you should either ignore the letters and soon he'll get the hint...or write him back and tell him that what he did was unacceptable and you're never going to get back with him so the letters need to stop. If they dont, report him to the police because thats harrassment. And please please dont fall for his lies. People who abuse a person once, never stop there. You dont need that, you dont deserve that, and you can find a man who doesnt think he has the right to hit you.
I also kind of think that he wants to get back with you because if he hits women, that means he likes to control women. Older men think younger women are easier to control. Please dont fall into that category. God gave you free will for a reason, dont let some jerk try to take that away from you. I know you liked him a lot but you can always find someone else that you like a lot as well, who wont be abusive.
2006-11-07 12:02:39 · answer #2 · answered by Dani 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is NOTHING wrong in having an older boyfriend. I have always dated guys my senior. My bf now is 13 years older than me and it can work - if you are both on the same mental level.
If you ask me he sounds imature and desperate. The appealk of the older man for me is there stability and confidence (not to mention ability to provide)
This guy sounds (and probably is) a flake. Ditch him and call the police to get a restraining order against him.
It all sounds to freaky. Any 35 year old would have had enough life experience and have enough self respect not to act in this manner.
He's clearly a looser.
The fact you type "I did like him alot" - makes me believe you don't want him back anyway. If you loved him - you would have gone back already.
2006-11-07 12:06:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need him. I'm telling you this because it's true. If he hit you he's gonna keep doin' it again. And for what reason did he hit you? He's only telling you he loves you so that u can take him back so that he can abuse you and stuff. I know u might have liked him alot but it's not worth it. Getting hit and taking sh*t from men is not worth it at all. If he really loved you he wouldnt have ever put his hands on you like that. Age doesn't matter but if he's 35...that's a big age difference and he might be thinkin' of you as a child that he can push around and abuse. He might also think that because he's much older that he can boss you around and tell you what to do...but you don't want that. You want someone to love you and respect you and that someone is certainly not him.
2006-11-07 12:01:27 · answer #4 · answered by iluvashtonkutcher676 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all the first time that a man hits you has to be the last you have to get rid of him if he sends you a letter don't open it just put it back in the post to him cos if he has hit you once then there will be second time then a third and so on you are only young and you do not want to tye yourself down to a wife beating bully so get your self together and go out with your mates and have a good time cos you are only young once don't let this thug mess up your life cos if he did love you then he would not hit you he is for to old for you find a lad who is your age and who will love and look after you as you deserve
2006-11-07 12:06:39 · answer #5 · answered by Bella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ive been in your situation before. I was 17 and he was 35 when we met. i didnt leave him until i was 20. If a man hits once, he will do it again! Also, in most cases where there is an age difference, the age gap cannot be bridged. Save yourself alot of time and wasted effort by ignoring this guy and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
2006-11-07 12:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I look at it like this...dont give him the time of day no more....not matter how much you really like hime.....because once a hitter always a hitter....Any man that lays hands on a female for what ever reason doesnt deserve a secound chance because thats like you telling him that it was all good what he did to you are ok for him to do it again...your still young you have alot of time to fine a man that well respect you and well never ever lay hands on you.....believe me gurl i am a woman who has gone thew that and learned my lesson the hard way.....
Well I wish you make the right decision and I wish you the best in life
2006-11-07 12:03:26 · answer #7 · answered by Sweet Momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember, you ditched him for a reason in the first place. A leopard never changes it's spots so if he hit you once he'll hit you again. He's way too old for you. Tell him to stop writing to you and move on with your life. you deserve a guy who treats you with respect.
2006-11-07 12:37:54 · answer #8 · answered by katem1992 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go any further with a guy 16 years older than you that hits you! He never grew up and wants to control you just like he would control a child, or worse a pet. Be firm, be consistent, don't initiate any conversation with him after you tell him that it is over you no longer want him in your life. Keep your eyes open for him stalking you.
2006-11-07 12:01:56 · answer #9 · answered by Ovrtaxed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The older boyfriend has to go. If you take him back, then you are saying that you are forgiving him after he hit you. If anyone ever hit me... I would never ever take them back. That is unexcusable.
Girl you are 19... you need to be free and not settling down with anyone, regardless of what happened in the past. My advice is to forget the loser and take care of yourself. You don't need a man to hold you down.
2006-11-07 12:01:02 · answer #10 · answered by Rachael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try your best to ignore him. If a guy hits you then he'll prob. do it again and you don't want that. Another thing is I kno you prob dont wanna here this but he's far too old for u and knos more and its not a good Idea to go bak to him.
2006-11-07 11:59:23 · answer #11 · answered by confused... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋