is this suicidal and do i need to talk to someone about how i feel this isthe first time i've ever told anyone

Question

i wish i had the fortitude to kill myself. sometimes i sit alone in my room with my gun in my mouth i just think and think and think about pulling the trigger but i just can;t come up with a reason to just blow my head off. i mean it's the easy way out i know it is. i look down on people who kill themselves. i think "i do not want to live this way....there is no way out of this life but death". i truly want to die but i can't make myself do it. i have reasons to live but i just don't want to feel anymore. i feel soo at the end of my rope and i have felt like that for a long time now. i just want some peace of mind. i just want to know that everything is gonna be okay but i'll never be sure. were is my solidarity? were is my resolve?were are the traits that i once possessed? who am i now?what does it matter if i die?why do i care anymore?

can you go to heaven if you kill yourself? am i damned already to the lake of fire for the horrible things i've done in life?ihate myselfforit

Answer 1

I have been at the bottom of the dark horrible lonely pit where u just don't feel that you have it in you to go on anymore. You feel like you're just existing but it is worse than that because while you're just existing there's torture in your head.

This is about as bad as depression gets.

Isn't it ironic that just at the time you need to be your strongest, that you feel really weak?

From experience, you need support and you need it now. You need to protect yourself while you are having these thoughts, that's the number one thing to do. After that, docs. etc. can help you in many other ways.

Call A & E (Emergency Department) or call an ambulance, or call someone to take you to the hospital. Do this right now. Please. That is the start of how you'll begin to come out of this nightmare....it really is.

I didn't believe I could ever feel well again....the torture is not knowing if and when this thing will lift. All I can say is that it WILL lift. You cannot go through this alone, you need to reach out to everyone you can and take support from them.

In time, I promise you, you will be glad you decided NOT to kill yourself, as I know I am now.

Hope this helps a little, take action now and begin to reclaim your life. Hold on and be brave.

Best wishes.

Answer 2

You said several important things, but before I respond I want you to know that whether you were sincere or joking your comment is out on the internet now and the whole world knows now, and forever (nothing seems to ever get erased from the internet). And then I can tell you that anyone with the contemplation of taking one's life can, by only one person doing it, have you baker acted and take you in by law for an evaluation (several weeks or your being in a ward with ill people) from which you may or may not get help. And you need to know that any professional person you talk with you will be reported to the authorities as a risk.

So my suggestion is this, if you need help then go to a parent, a relatiave or a trusted friend who is able to solve problems and make intelligent suggestions to you. First of all a lot of people have a religion to fall back on. As they say "God is the way, the truth and the life" and He gives you direction thru his laws, sermons and connections to others who give help. It's a way of life and maybe is what you need. Try it.

You say you do care, so I'm going to suggest that you find a direction. If you're not educated then get educated. If you don't have employment then get some, or change jobs to find one you like. If you don't like where you live then work hard and make some money and move to a better neighborhood. If you don't like the people around you or don't get along with them, seek out a church and organizations to make better friends, learn new background traditions, find new interests. That way things are going to be ok because you will have a better outlook.
good luck to you.

Answer 3

You sound like me 10 years ago when I was first diagnosed with bipolar. There is no reason on this earth to kill yourself. No you cannot go to heaven if you kill yourself. I was told that after all of my suicide attempts. What I learned and what I hope you learn to is that things will get better with time. You need professional help now. You probably need to be put on some kind of meds. Again there is nothing worth killing yourself over. You said you wanted to die but couldn't bring yourself to do it. That's saying that you don't want to die That's saying that your tired of everything that's going on in your life right now. You asked what does it matter if you die? Well ask your parents, friends and the people you love that question and you will definatly get your answer. I promise. I hope things turn out for you. God Bless.

Answer 4

I once had the fortitude to do it with all type of dangerous objects to harm myself with all the hesitation i had, that stops me in numerous of time and knew that it will not end it quickly than suffering, & feeling the pain. But i found one way to end it in peace without suffering. Once again that hesitation stops me with all the crazy thoughts and questions u had on my mind made me think twice.... Here are the answer u are about to see and read.
1) Your body may be in peace but your SOUL will be TAUNT and
SUFFER forever( * )
2) You may think everything is going to be okay, well i tell you
this, NOTHING is going to be okay( * )
3) Your solidarity your resolve & your traits are in God's HAND
waiting for you ask him( * )
4) You are one of the CHILDERN of our Father in Heaven who
have chosed you and brought you on this earth( * )
5) You die, you bring EVERYONE & EVERYTHING down along
with you( * )
6) You don't care because you have a NEGATIVE attuitude and
mind( * )
7) You will NOTgo to heaven once committed a suicide thats
concider an evil act( * )
8) You will NOT be thrown into hell instantly once you ask for
Forgiveness and repent your heart( * )

( * ) can give you more detail, if you want to know more
you can contact me

im in no religion or mockery but HE spoked.. with out HIM i would'nt typed to you or helped you.
this is a " WAKE UP" call.
God Bless you

p.s. JESUS was at your side holding your hand and
preventing you from pulling the trigger because HE
has feeling for you with all his gracious love and
knows whats your value are to keep you alive.

Answer 5

Oh my gosh, you are TOTALLY CLINICALLY DEPRESSED! You need to get your butt to a psychotherapist IMMEDIATELY. Sitting in your room with a gun in your mouth is not a natural behavior of someone who is mentally healthy. You obviously don't WANT to die or you would have done it already. You know as well as I do that you have plenty to live for. A psychotherapist can not only talk you through your problems, but can also prescribe an antidepressant. Seek help immediately and take advantage of all the resources out there for people who are feeling exactly the same way you are. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on the phone to seek help. It is also very likely that your place of employment may have some type of an employment assistance program, where the first six or so visits to a therapist are free, and where after that they will cover most of the cost through your health insurance.
It will be okay - but you have to make that first step of getting on the phone and seeking out professional help

Answer 6

Firstly, you not being able to go through it and kill yourself is a very GOOD thing!
Life is not easy. It's hard to live in the world as it is today but thats how it is suppose to be.
I dont think that your crazy. I think that you have come to a point in your life where you think you have no meaning. You have noticed how your life is now and you dont like it at all. You say that you have reasons to live but dont want to feel anymore.

For you to feel that badly about yourself/your life then you must have a lot of negativity in it.

If you do kill yourself then YES you will go to hell. Your not damed to take the lake of fire for the terrible things you've done in your life. Thats why Jesus dies for your sins, so that you could have eternal life with him.
Only he can forgive you for all of your sins. Only he can take away your pain and hurt and only he can give you something to live for. You have to trust in him and let him handle your problems.
He says in his word that he will never deny you if you call on him. He will never forsake you. Hes the only one who will ever totally know you,know how you feel, your hurt, your pain, your thoughts.
Only he can give you something to live for. When you hurt he hurts. When your all alone and feel as if you have no one, or when everyone turns their back on you, He is there waiting for you to call on him and ask for his help.

It only takes enough faith the size of a mustard seed to believe and be saved. Pray to him and ask him to come into your heart and save you.
One sin is no greater then another.
I don't think you need professional help. You need a higher power and thats God.

Answer 7

I would say you definitely need to tell/see someone, such as a psychiatrist. Everyone has problems, but we all deal with them in different ways. You are having real trouble dealing with yours. You need to work out your issues with a professional who can get the root of why you are feeling this way. It may just be a chemical imbalance.

You cannot isolate yourself while you are going through this. You need someone else that can give you knowledgeable advice and help you get better.

After all, in 20 years you may be so happy and have the greatest life- and think if you took that all away now because you didn't get help?

Answer 8

your life can always get better, once you kill your self that is it. and god forgives you , if you are sorry and you pray you can be forgiven. but dont give up your life. everything that you feel is wrong can be fixed. please, dont do any harm to yourself. I am sure you would leave alot of pain to those left behind. life is precious

Answer 9

bad chemistry. see a professional at once. they can make you feel better.