Now that they are in school and are older she asks me what they want for christmas. She gets it for them, taking away the pride of my being able to do it myself. Then at family get togethers announces that she got the expensive toys and she is why they have the expensive toys. Now after she did that last year and embarassed me in front of everyone, this year she is saying I need to notify everyone that she is getting them the present and is now treating it like its a huge chore that I am demanding she buy expensive toys for my children. I finally told her that if she didn't want to do it I told her years ago to quit. And she had giggled and left it alone and raced to the expensive gift they wanted.
2006-11-07 03:50:04 · 8 answers · asked by Franchesca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am the scorned child that is the underachiever of the family.
2006-11-07 04:17:05 · update #1
I feel for you on this issue. You need to just come out and tell her that she makes such a big deal about the expensive gifts she buys for the kids. It is not a pissing contest. Nobody is impressed with her ability to buy those gifts, maybe except for the kids. I think that the big gifts need to be bought by the parents...unless you want to go in halves on it. When she asks what they want for Christmas, tell her they NEED this or that, and keep the bigger gift for yourself. I know grandparents are "supposed" to spoil their grandkids, but there is a line of respect that they need not cross. I understand why it would take the pride away from you...seeing as you are the one's they live with. Good luck! :)
2006-11-07 04:16:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While this might appear wrong to you, Ma'am...it's generally well known that Grandma's dote on their grandchildren. Of course, the gift announcement thing doe make her look like a hypocrite to you, but you must realise that the fact that the children are happy shows nothing is wrong with this harmless eccentricity. What matters most in families is not the race to win the others affections but the strength of the relationship itself. So if your mother insists on buying the expensive gifts, let her...since she seemingly can afford it, and that she wants to do it, it would be wrong to stop her. On the other hand, you needn't buy the expensive gifts at all, do something meaningful for your kids for Christmas...because your children look up to you, and not to your grandmother for everything they'll learn in life.
2006-11-07 04:15:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom used to do stuff like that to my son until one day we had a yelling and screaming match over the whole subject. Now she consults me ahead of time, asks what I think, and I let her know exactly what I think. Sometimes we go together and get stuff, other times she will still pop something expensive on him and tick me off (for example, against my wishes she bought him a four wheeler, this year it was a f-ing go-kart). It is a sucky situation, but don't let her feel like she has the upper hand. You control how much your kids get to play with the expensive stuff, just make sure that if you know something they really want that they keep it from her or make sure you have already bought it. Good luck!!
2006-11-07 04:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by Michaela 4120 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes , I agree with 'Jon C' 100%,
Butt out and leave her to it , your Mother loves your kids end of story!
She is not doing anything to deliberately hurt you, just let it go, you buy what ever you can afford to buy, love is not about money and how much you can spend on presents , you are the kids Father, would they love you more if you could buy them expensive gifts??
Your Mother is your Mother why would you want to deny her this pleasure? even if it is at your 'loss of face'!
2006-11-07 04:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by budding author 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya I use to be the same way and then my mom passed away and i wished that i wouldn't have nagged her so much, my advice is just tell her how you feel and let her know that you love her but sometimes you want to be able to spoil your kids to. maybe you should go together to pick out your kids Christmas gifts that way she sees what you are getting, but you should let her spoil them you never know how much longer she will be around.
2006-11-07 04:06:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dakotah D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your mother just loves her granddaughters. If she announces it everyone that she buys such expensive things stand up with her and joke"and at her own request." If she gets embarrassed at that, tell her that you did the same thing so fair is fair.
2006-11-07 03:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by QueenofLeon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
...talk heart to heart to your mother and tell her your feelings that she's is not respecting your feelings and she cares nothing about your relationship but embarrassement all the time.
...anyway, are you the only child or mummy's pet?...
2006-11-07 04:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by Tywna Torres 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a grandma, that is what they do! Let her do that for your girls, you will end up doing it for their kids!
2006-11-07 03:52:13 · answer #8 · answered by Jon C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋