We have been together for 9 months. We argue a lot, but at the same time, we help each other through a lot of things. I'm in therapy for emotional overeating, and my therapist says that I have issues with balance in the relationship. I'm hung up on things being 50/50 all the time. He called me selfish last night. We got into a big fight because I asked him to not have his brother over to my apartment, (which I share with a roommate who is rarely home), when I'm not there. He took it that I was asking him to turn his back on his family. I never said that. I like his brother. He said that I pushed him to make a set of keys for my place, and now that he had them, I didn't want him to have them- kind of like I wanted it both ways. He got very angry. I know I'm at fault too, I just don't know what to do. I love this man and want to spend my life with him, but he's got a temper that I can't work with, if we can't talk to each other--- how are we supposed to work things out?
2006-11-07 03:18:10 · 8 answers · asked by Kateyes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I feel Nine months is way too short a time for both of you to adapt to each other.dont fool yourself that it has to be rossy all the time,some days are just so bad that you feel like running away or getting it over with,you even say things to each other that you regret latter,but it does not mean that you are not in love with one another.
Give it time,even the sweetest and most envied of relationships sometimes have their hot days of quarell and fights,but learn to settle.As a woman,one thing i dont do is take the blame, i do say sorry,but i dont heap all the guilt on my self.if you do,your spouse will use it against you and you will feel as though you are no good at all.what we do after each quarell is to talk about it,if possible,if not,we go on living as though we are just neighbours until all the hard feelings die down. take it easy,YOU MUST DISAGREE.
2006-11-07 03:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by lace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completly understand where you are coming from. The temper thing is always hard to work through, but most of the time if you are the bigger person and you do not react to them blowing up for no reason then it all turns out a little better, that still does not give him the right....but if you are going to try and work through it that is usually the easiest way.
With the whole "letting his brother come over when you are not there" deal is a little crazy and by crazy I mean disrespectful.....I am sure that you gave him that key so that he could come over there but not so that he could bring whomever he wanted over there whenever he wanted right? Tell him that the key was for his own personal use, not for a "great hang out place for him and his bro" let him know that if he is wanting something like that, he needs to get his own apartment.
2006-11-07 03:27:46 · answer #2 · answered by TNL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,i know we all wanna defend ouselves wen we gt into arguments.i honestly think both of u need to sit down n talk things ova n u shud make the 1st move dis tyme cuz he has totally misunderstood u so u need to make things clear to him.en eva u realise ur gonna ve an arugment-just stop it right ther n dun continue ayt cuz it wud turn into sth ugly n the more u argue the less gud it does for ur relationship.am nt blamin u bt it takes 2 to tango so dun push it.wen both of u r angry ur likely to sae things u may nt mean bt that wud hurt the others feeling.wen ur angry dun tlk n just end it der so dat wen the steam has blown off u kan then sit down like the adults u r n talk it ova with m\aturity ,reasoning n gud judgement ok
all the best ok
n plz dun argue wen ur angry cuz it only makes things worse n neva better
2006-11-07 03:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by brawneyedempress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't talk to each other you'll never work them out. You'll just keep talking past each other, butting heads, pushing each other further and further apart. have you considered some couples therapy?
2006-11-07 03:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by czekoskwigel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contrary to popular belief, love does NOT conquer all.
If it's real love, there is nothing to conquer. How can you possibly want to spend your whole life with someone who sees such important issues so differently than you?
2006-11-07 03:25:35 · answer #5 · answered by lunatic 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should consider couseling somthing like anger management ..I dont think you should give up yet!
2006-11-07 03:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by ~* Pink Princess *~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separate. Neither one of you is mature enough to be with another person.
2006-11-07 03:20:14 · answer #7 · answered by ~Gate~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pout and cry ...................it works for me
2006-11-07 03:20:35 · answer #8 · answered by cry baby gator 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋