Sunday school?

Question

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!''
The Teacher fainted.

Answer 1

am a christian

but i laughed

nice one ; )-

Answer 2

That version is the best. Still on a religious theme.... here is another one

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went
missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Arch-Angel
found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God,

"Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly
pointed downwards through the clouds

"Look Michael, look what I've made." said God.
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said,

"What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE
on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going
to be a great place of balance".

Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth.
"For example, North America will be a place of great
opportunity and wealth while South America is going to be
poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot
and Russia will be a cold spot.

Over there I've placed a continent of white people
and over there is a continent of black people,"
God continued, pointing to different countries.
This one will be extremely hot and arid while
this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then
pointed to a small land mass and said "What's that one?"

Ah ," said God. "That's New Zealand,
the most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and hills.

The people from New Zealand are going to be modest,
intelligent and humorous
and they're going to be found traveling the world.

They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and
high-achieving,and they will be known throughout the world
as diplomats
and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed,
"What about balance, God? you said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied wisely,
"Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting next to them. I
call them "Australians!"

Answer 3

As we are being religious ;
did you hear about the vicar who was invited by the priest into the sumptuous presbytery? The vicar, after some small talk about his wife, commented on how grand the priests house was. "Ah, said the priest, vicars may have better halves - but priests have better quarters"!

Answer 4

That joke is sooooooooo funny, I've heard it now about 20 times but it still makes me laugh.

Answer 5

Laughing loads

Answer 6

LOL!! Finally someone posted the correct version! I would have done it myself, but I can't find mine.

Answer 7

Cute one!

Answer 8

thats a good one

Answer 9

lol :) , i love this joke, its classic but just so funny. it will always make you larf ! hehe x

Answer 10

hahahahaha hehehe i like