She abuses prescription drugs, has tried to commit suicide, and is already trying to start some crap about the holidays and the family. She has no job, and only stays with my brother for the money and the big house and nice car. She tells my other sister-n-law that I'm a ***** and she don't like me - and I've never done anything to her. She talks about me all the time and spreads rumors that aren't true. Why is she picking on me ? I have my own family and life to tend to and don't have time for her bull sh*#! Should I approach her and put an end to it (it would get ugly), or do I call my brother and tell him whats going on ?
2006-11-07 03:07:59 · 18 answers · asked by Mandy W 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Actually, my brother does know most of what's going on. He (I think) is trying to leave her but has been taken to the cleaners one time before and is just staying with her till the time is right cause she don't deserve to keep the big house he built with his own hard earned money and his own two hands. She has told her doctor that our family is to blame for her being crazy and he (the doc) believed her ! So, even after a suicide attempt, he's still giving her pills ! I'm just afraid my brother is gonna find her one day and it'll be too late. That would really hurt him cause he's a nice, kind hearted person. So, we're (my family) just trying to deal with it all and stay out of the middle of it, but she just insists on pounding me verbally to others.
2006-11-07 03:26:21 · update #1
I'm sure your brother already knows. And all you need is an all out fight before the holidays. Wouldn't that just top everything off nicely?
The nice thing to do, would be to keep it all together for the family and the holidays. If your like me, however, this isn't going to happen. I just can't keep my mouth shut when someone is bad mouthing me or my man or my kids. She probably isn't singling you out, or "picking on you". Shes probably just a really unhappy person and her only escape is to downgrade those who she finds successful.
Anyway,if you can't keep your mouth shut about the situation, plan ahead. Prepare for the situation and wait for her to turn into the psycho. Then let her have it in the most calm and collective manner possible. It will be your moment to vent and most likely the families only one moment to actually show her how they feel about her attitude. Don't do this in a private room, wait until she say.... serving dinner. It's going to be an all out war. She doesn't like you anyway and she is treating everyone like crap. Make sure that your not in the situation where you have to kick her or your brother out of your home. Do it at a place where you can just stand up, pick up your family, and walk out with the last words being.
"I don't understand how anyone can live with you and your attitude toward life. You really are a sad depressing person and I feel sorry for those who are forced to be around you. I on the other hand do not have to be miserable with you."Tell your family that you love them all very much and that you hope they all understand your thoughts. Then tell your brother that you are extremly sorry and you sympathize with him.
She will be upset, you will feel free and liberated. If nothing at all comes out of it other than her talking more crap, at least she knows your not going to take being walked on and that everyone knows shes a crackhead and that your not a pushover.
2006-11-07 03:25:47 · answer #1 · answered by ~brigit~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your brother doesn't already know what's going on, then he's got to be the most oblivious guy out there. But I would still call him to let him know that, as her husband, he needs to talk to her. If you talk to her, it could cause a much bigger rift in the family and possibly create a big mess between you and your brother. Let him try to deal with her first. If that doesn't work, then maybe it'll be time for you to step in.
It sounds like she's a big jerk, so even if she is spreading rumors about you, most likely everyone will know not to believe them. I don't believe half of what certain people say, just because they make up stories so often. If she does tell someone something particularly offensive, you can explain to that person that it was a false rumor. I would also then call your sister-in-law up and let her know that what she's telling people is hurting you and you'd like her to stop.
If she's abusing prescription drugs and has tried to commit suicide, she's most likely depressed. Maybe by spreading rumors, she feels better about herself and feels like a part of her husband's family. I would try not to get too upset, and just feel bad for her. She needs help.
Hopefully your brother will wake up soon and realize that she's just using him for his money. He deserves someone better. Good luck with her!
2006-11-07 03:14:16 · answer #2 · answered by K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say, but I assume that your brother is totally in the dark about his wife. Talk to her. I think that most people will listen to kindness. Try to be friends with her. Maybe she feels lonely and picks on you because you have a life and she doesn't. Treat this is a personal challenge to turn somebody around. Believe me, the experience shall be greatly rewarding and illuminating for you.
2006-11-07 03:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation, and I have found that if you confront her nicely and ask if she is saying ugly things about you, she will not get defensive. Don't get rude, she is with your brother. Ignore what you can and deal with the rest like a lady.
2006-11-07 03:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by Premo Mom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first issue that the family needs to deal with is her mental stability. She should have been admitted to a hospital for psychiatric help, or she should be in a crisis unit.
If you do confront her you need to do it with out the anger that you feel towards her.
2006-11-07 03:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like a sociopath who is need of help. You should get in her face and tell her to knock if off. Assuming that won't work, tell your brother everything and flush her pills down the toilet. What a pain in the *** that must be.
2006-11-07 03:10:56 · answer #6 · answered by Bestie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's jealous of you, that's why she says all that smack.
Yeah, go tell your brother all about her evil ways. That's what I'd do, and if he takes her side, then prepare yourself for a Big Family Split....but ya know what, if he prefers a druggie skank lyin' wench to his nice family who will support him in dumping her, then so be it.
I'd divorce yourself from them. Don't see them, don't talk to them or about them. Just leave them all to their own devices.
2006-11-07 03:10:52 · answer #7 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
defenitley tell your brother. if things still don't change, just confront her ( but only if you know it's true) it will change stuff, but then maybe she could just leave you alone. or you can just try to be extra friendly and go out together , have a drink , or invite her over and just talk. maybe you did something to her and you do not even know it and she's mad. try to see what's really bothering her, then talk to her. good luck. .
2006-11-07 03:12:19 · answer #8 · answered by black_metal_mist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either tell your brother or hope the suicide thing goes better next time.
2006-11-07 03:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call your brother and tell him whats going on. You don't need to start an ugly fight. Nothing good can come from that.
2006-11-07 03:10:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋