Emotions ruling my life?

Question

Does anyone have any ideas for learning to keep emotions hidden or at least to not be ruled by them?

I find that whatever I'm feeling is extremely apparent to everyone who knows me, especially people who care about me. I have no defences. When I am hurt or angry or just depressed, I cry. The tears just come and everyone knows that I'm worked-up. I can't just put on a cool face and pretend that I'm not affected. This makes it easy for people to "get to me" and I feel weak when they know I am that bothered.

Also, I find it very hard to do anything when I'm having a problem emotionally. I can't work well or get on with my life until the crisis is solved.

Does anyone else have this problem?

Answer 1

Are you like this when you are alone, or is it only around people? If only around people, then it might be a subtle way of seeking power in relationships. How do you deal with people who don't play up to your emotions?

Answer 2

In my personal case I have been ruled by my emotions since I was a child. I would cry about anything and everything that came around the bend. After taking countless different medications and nothing completely working for me I realized that I am just a sensitive person. I feel more than I should normally. Even things that happen miles away from me. I also feel that being a woman opens you up to being much more open to the emotional side of life and it's situations. Just because you cry a lot DON'T let anyone tell you it makes you weak. It is not a sign of weakness. I am a very Spiritual person who believes in the power of nature so that is what I turn to when I feel overwhelmed by my feelings. I cry a lot, but crying is a release. Not a weakness. You are a woman and you need to try to tap into your intuition and realize that you may just be a little more in tune with people and situations than you realize right now. It takes patience to learn how to use your emotions to benefit others and yourself. Don't worry about what others think of you. If you feel things in your heart you trust those feelings. Only you know yourself. I wish you luck and hope I have helped in some way.

Answer 3

I don't think it's possible to keep your emotions completely hidden. Even if you are a quiet person, people (especially those who know you well) will sense that something is not right.
However, there are ways to not let your emotions rule you.
Yes, I do have this problem too.

I have a very difficult time going to work or getting my kids off to school when I am having a crisis. Somehow I find a way to do it, but in trying to hide what is wrong from other people, I can seem abrupt, unfriendly and unapproachable to others. Still, I would prefer this than to being vulnerable (especially with people I am not close to)

Anyway, it is best if you have someone to talk to about what is bothering you at times when you arent' working. In other words, spend time on the problem before you go to work, so that you are not too upset over it at work.
I have the problem too, of once I start talking or thinking about something it is difficult to just "shut it off" and go about my normal business. But you can work on this too. If you make a plan to only worry about something or discuss something at a certain time and then say "it's over" or some other closing words, and really focus on some other thing you have to do, it will help.

If someone asks you at work what is wrong, try to brush them off with "oh nothing, just tired" or whatever said with as straight a face as possible and refuse to talk about it. I'm not saying it to be mean, nor do I mean you should be unfriendly with your co-workers. But if you want to stop the tears from flowing, you will have to be very forceful about it. There are times and places for crying, but to be taken seriously, it's probably a bad idea for you to cry at work. So you are right to try to stop it from occurring. Be curt if you have to. Just refuse to discuss it.
when you are feeling better, you can be more talkative at work.
And you are right to be concerned. there are people who will use these things against you to manipulate you. So keep yourself focused when you need to be, but have someone you can talk to when you are not working. It is important to get through each crisis or problem as they come up. You might also need a therapist to help you deal with your emotions. They know a lot of techniques and cognitive therapy might also help. Cognitive therapy helps you reason through negative emotions and "talk yourself out of a bad mood". Because sometimes it is not neccessary to feel as bad as you do. There are genuine times to be upset and times when it isn't neccessary.
hope this helps.

Answer 4

I agree with the self control, however correct it is easier said then done. One thing that I have learned to do is to focus on something on my head that calms me. For instance I am going through the fact that my job ends at the end of the year, and believe me self control is not something that I am good at. I learned some tacticle ways to fill my time so that I don't have to think about it. I turn my head phones up at work so I don't have to hear the people talking, and can keep to myself, go to yahoo answers and answers some questions and think about my daughter it is what keeps me focused. I am the type of person that when I am upset i like revenge. I lay in bed thinking about what I can do wrong to piss people off. This not a good thing, but I am saying I can understand where you are coming from. It takes a long time to learn how to self control yourself in time it will happen, you just have to focus. Sorry my answer is not what you are looking for, but this is from my own experiance. Good luck and remember this too shall pass.

Answer 5

I have gone through similar things, and here are some things that have helped me:

1) I try to separate between "how I feel" and "what needs to be done". And what gives me inner strength to focus on "what needs to be done" is the awareness that there is a higher value to doing good and right things, whether big or small.

2) While the idea above has helped me a lot, there seems to be times that biologically I am prone to crying, and taking Prozac has helped me eliminate the crying.

Answer 6

Any advice given to you in your situation by anyone is easier said than done. Self-control is the best control!
When faced with a similar situation again, try to keep yourself away from the sight of the others around; calm down, relax and rejuvenate! Try to focus on something different to divert your attention. Hope you are able to overcome your problem! Good luck!

Answer 7

I think you need to have a full physical work up to see if it is physical first. Many physical problems can cause a person to be very emotional. Also hormone imbalances too.

Start there and then seek out counseling to talk about your emotions. Understanding how to deal with them will help you, and a good counselor can help you with behavior modification.

Answer 8

I do. I wish I had some answers for you. I take antidepressants and it helps somewhat but I still get easily hurt. And you're right if people sense you have a weakness they will go for it.