Parents of gifted underachievers... Please help...?

Question

What have you done that works to motivate your child? Is there anything that will get them to want to live up to their potential?

My child is almost 12 in the 6th grade. We have been dealing with this problem since kindergarten and it has gotten worse.

Answer 1

Some of the books on this subject that I've found helpful:

When Gifted Kids Don’t Have All the Answers: How to Meet Their Social and Emotional Needs by Jim Delisle, Ph.D. and Judy Galbraith, M.A.

Losing Our Minds: Gifted Children Left Behind by Deborah L. Ruf, Ph.D.

Stand Up for Your Gifted Child: How to Make the Most of Kids’ Stregths at School and at Home by Joan Franlin Smutny

Helpful links:

http://members.tripod.com/thegiftedchild-ivil/

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

Answer 2

You didn't say how old your child is. So, all I can say is that if the child is school age (Any year) they may be in a class/grade that is below their level and because they already know the stuff at that level, they are bored. I would suggest having them tested to define their level and then adjust grade level accordingly. My grandsons are highly gifted with IQ's in the 170's & 180's and because of this, they were bored stiff in school (and getting in trouble) so my daughter home schooled them when the school could not provide what her boys needed. (Skipping 3 & 4 grade levels, the kids have trouble communicating with older kids because the older kids get jealous and the gifted child wonders why he's treated poorly) She also gives them a variety of things to get their interest up: crafts, cooking, boy scouts, basketball, karate, etc. This helps to keep them out of trouble because a smart mind always wants to try new things.

Answer 3

all I can suggest is being careful that they do not misuse their gifts. My son is 7 and has been reading on a high school level since he was 4. Same with math, science, etc... he does get upset easily when he doesn't get 100's (not very often) so I try to let him know that getting a 100 every time is not a big deal. We put him in cub scouts and he made the uil storytelling team, and those things seem to keep him motivated as well. Remember, forcing your child to do things just because you think it's a good idea can easily backfire on you.

Answer 4

I am not a parent yet, but I was a gifted underachiever.

School did not challenge me at all. I was capable of high school-level work in third grade. There was no way to get that in a public school, because they won't put an 8-year-old in ninth grade, for obvious reasons.

You can homeschool, or try getting your child into a school specifically for gifted children. There are many high schools for them (not magnet schools; those are not really for gifted children); most states have one. Look into them if your child is almost high school age.

If he or she is not, you might have to homeschool, except in this case, it would be self-schooling. A gifted child will not be motivated by other people telling him to do things. He will be motivated by his own interests. Encourage her to read and experiment. Find other children with the same interests. Anything to nurture an interest.

Exploring lots of different areas is essential for a gifted child to find his or her TRUE area of interest. I did not discover my true interests until high school (I did go to a boarding high school for gifted students, where we were taught by real professors and did graduate-level college work) because my parents insisted I had to stay in public school. Now I do want to live up to my potential, because meeting very intelligent people (my professors) who taught in my areas of interest was highly motivating. I wanted to learn more and more. Teachers in public schools did not have the time or ability to do that.

You might be interested in UNschooling, if you decide to homeschool and your child is too young for gifted high schools. Look it up online; the unschooling approach, from my perspective, seems like it would have been great for me because I would have been able to really focus on my interests.

Answer 5

Well I am not a parent, but I did deal with this for myself in school and I am a Teacher. I think your child may need to be challenged. See if there are advanced classes or see if they child can maybe work ahead of the class. I know when I was in school I was bored. Hope that helps :)

Answer 6

A lot of the under achieving, sadly to say from a techer, is probably placed on the teacher. If gifted students are not challenged, they do not do the work! Check that your daughter is in a Gifted and Talented program. Also, speak with your daughter's teachers and ask them for proof that she is being challenged. If she is in a regular classroom the work will be way beneath your daughter, as the teacher is expected to bring the lower students up, our concentration lays with bringing them to the middle and making the middle grow. We tend to take for granted that the gifted students don't need us, and usually they don't in that setting.

Answer 7

My eighth grader is the exact same way. I found that I had to let her find her niche. For years, I forced my love of literature and language arts on her and wondered why she didn't respond. Then, it clicked in fourth grade, when she finally said that she loved math and science and that she had found her focus area. While, she does well in English and language arts, she does show more effort in math and science. She also applies her love of arts in to these areas. Finding their niche is the most important and helping them to development what they love!

Answer 8

ooh this stinks!