Is it wrong NOT to use my mother's first name as a middle name for my next and last child?

Question

I have 2 kids, girl and a boy. My kids both took my great grandmother's middle and last name as part of their names. My daughter took Elizabeth as her middle name and my son got great grandmother's last name,Christian, as his first name. And this is my 3rd and final child and it's a girl. A few days ago I asked my mother, like I've done with everyone else around me, if she had any name suggestions. She told me she doesn't care what I use as a first name but she wants me to use her first name, Anita, as the middle name. At the time I said something to the effect of "yeah..ok...alright..." But I don't like the name, never have, and don't wish to use it. The thing about choosing a name is the combination and how it sounds together as a whole. I thought about having 2 middle names, but don't think it is necessary? Should I just tell her that this is my last child and I already used family names from her grandmother and I'd like to come up with a full name myself? Would that be rude?

Answer 1

It's your child. Name her what you want, and don't worry about it!

Answer 2

I hate it when kids are 'jrs'. Name him after your father. It has such a better, more meaningful story behind it. And besides, if you're not planning on marrying the baby's daddy, who's to say that he'll still be around in a few years? And if you do stay together and get married, you can always amend your son's name and add the dad's last name to the end of your father's last name. Like Smith-Jones, or something. And it's not wrong for members of a family to have different last names. I think a better solution would be to hyphenate, though, because with different last names, people will assume they had different fathers and might think badly of you. I know a girl who has four kids, and each of them has a different last name, all of which are different from hers. Now that's a bad situation. Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 3

Do what YOU want to. You can use 2 middle names - I did. Then again, it is your 3rd and final, so you could also use the fact that your mother in-law might feel jealous, so you would have to not use either mother's names in your child. Hey - good luck with it all and hopefully you don't have twins!

I tried naming my little boy after both of my grandparents. My grandfather had 'Davis' and my grandmother's name was Sammye (after her grandfather Sammuel). I put the names together, and it was 'Sammye Davis' - which was not used. I used the Davis part from my grandfather, and ended up using my friend's name (who was the lamaze person, and the nurse who took care of me when I was in the hospital for the delivery). It has a cute ring to his name! :)

My friend's mother's name was Anita, and she married someone with the last name 'Ford' so her name was Anita Ford (I need a Ford is what it sounded like). So, you are right - it is about how it sounds with the other names. And you have to put what her future will be like with that name, whether she gets married or not.

Answer 4

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh THIS IS YOUR BABY!!! lol

No that's not rude! My mom wanted me to name my daughter "Glenda" (her 1st name)! And after much harassment about it, it hit me that she didn't name me or any of my sisters after her mom or grandma! Therefore, how can you have an expectation of me that you didn't have of yourself. And even if she had done it herself, naming a baby can be a very personal and meaningful thing. It is not always a PLUS to get input from others, because everyone does not have an appreciation for "combination" and how the name sounds as a whole. You 1st priority is making sure the name YOU choose isn't something your child will HATE in 10-20 years! Especially since, you see YOU already don't like the name.

Answer 5

It IS your child, so you should give it a name you love. But you might want to take your mother's feelings into account. How close are you? How hurt will she be if you don't use her name? How often do you really use someones middle name? What is your mom's middle name? Maybe that would be better. You just have to decide if it is really that big of a deal to you to take the chance of hurting your mom and affecting your relationship. If it is, then you have every right not to use her name. One thing you might consider is using a family name from your husbands side. Just explain to your mother that you have already used family names from your side and that you want to include his family. But in the end, it is your child and you don't owe anyone anything. You and your husband should have the final say.

Answer 6

Option 1 - The best part about naming a baby it you usually have two people making the decision. Blame it on your partner. They didn't like how it sounded together or he really wanted (other name) instead and he put his oot down.

Option 2 - Pick a name that begins with the same letter, wanting to honor all women in your bloodline with A names.

Option 3 - Mom's understand. Once you choose a name you love, your mom will also love it. I am sure she hopes but doesn't expect you to name your daughter after her.

Best of Luck!!
I am sure you will make the right decision.

Answer 7

We use family names, but only of dead family members, this seems to work well. You could also find names that are consider the "same" as Anita and see if there is one that you like. My daughter's middle name is Delphine, after my great grandmother, Edelphina.

Answer 8

No, it isn't rude. Kids are stuck with names that they(or their parent's) don't like all the time. You have named your other children names that you do like, so why do any less for this child. Decide on a name and tell your mother that the name that you have decided on sounds good and that you have chosen _____. This is your choice and a name that you want your daughter to enjoy, right?

Answer 9

I understand your predicament. Our family has the same tradition. Do you have any other siblings? Because if so then they can name their future children after your mom. That way at her name will live on in at least one child. If you don't I suggest you find a way to incorporate her name into your daughters. You may not like it too much, but is the tradition going to end with you? Alternately, you can promise her that you will make sure your grand kids will be named after her. Although your daughters may grow to be a stubborn as you:-)
Good Luck!

Answer 10

No, it's not wrong. My own daughter is having a baby in march and asked for a middle name suggestion. Of course I would LOVE to have her named after me so I suggested my name. My daughter told me that she did not want to create jealousy between me and her mother-in-law and this will be her 4th & last child. For what ever reason, she does not want to use my name, and I accept that. It's her child after all. And I'll Love my new granddaughter no matter what her name is anyway. :)

Answer 11

I had the same dilemma with my children. Just remember you can never please everyone when you chose a name for your child. This is YOUR last child I think you should be able to name her whatever you wish. No, it isn't rude of you to tell her. What I would do so you don't have added stress during your pregnancy is wait to say anything until she is born. Why put yourself through all the negative comments. Just wait, and when she is born name her what you'd like. Good luck, and congratulations!! =)